<p>collegekidsmom, yours reminds me of my son, now 18, who once called a blimp an “airplane hot dog”.</p>
<p>He also once noticed the full moon and exclaimed, “Oooweee! A baYOON!”</p>
<p>My son came home from kindergarten one day and told me he knew what the D word, the B word, the S word and the F word meant. I gave my husband one of those looks as he assumed he was in a lot of trouble until my son shared: dumb, bad, shoot, (and I can’t remember what the F word was, but it was innocent). My husband was very relieved, to say the least.</p>
<p>my 3 or 4 year old was at the grocery store with me, and spotted a package of hamburger buns. “Oh look, mommy-- Hamburger holders! Now all we need is some of that round cow meat!”</p>
<p>Love these stories!</p>
<p>Especially the “what if there was a dog?”</p>
<p>My S used to ask zen-like questions that we couldn’t figure out. The most memorable was “Why is that a blue motorcycle?” 
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<p>In church…priest says “Peace on Earth”
2 yr old son yells out “Piece of What?” </p>
<p>This doesn’t count as funny but it’s so sweet: I have it up in my office…a note my kid (now college grad) wrote in second grade with his smiling picture above it:</p>
<p>The world is wonderful
When I go to Disney World
When spring comes
When school is over
When my family is together
When birds sing and when flowers bloom.</p>
<p>As a teacher I’ve heard a lot of funny things from my 5 year old students. I have one that makes me laugh whenever I think of it.</p>
<p>I had a boy who told me his mother had an operation and wasn’t allowed to drive. He came in excited one day and told me she could now drive again. My assistant innocently asked him what his mom had an operation for and he said “Her got new boobs.”</p>
<p>Tone ranger, that is sweet!</p>
<p>You remind me of one of the first stories my son dictated to me. He must have been 2 or so. It started out:</p>
<p>“Superman drove a Ferrari. And he drove it every Wednesday and every tomorrow.”</p>
<p>We went to a restaurant when my son was in potty training. My husband took him to the “little boy’s room” while I waited at the table. When they emerged, my son yelled across the restaurant at me “MOMMY, WHAT SOUND DOES A POTTY MAKE??” I hid behind the menu. He yelled it at me again, even louder. Everybody in the restaurant look in my direction for the answer. So I replied: “FLUSH!”. Everybody in the restaurant laughed.</p>
<p>Not my children, but my sisters:</p>
<p>The oldest, Lea, was in ballet class, and the next sister, Naomi, admired her leotard and tights. Since Lea got to wear a Lea-tard, Naomi asked Mom for a “Naomi-tard.”</p>
<p>The third sister and I had the idea that some winter celebrations were named just for us – Christmas* Eve* and Hanna-kah.</p>
<p>When my D was 22 and preparing to move into her first apartment, I noticed a list she had left on the kitchen counter. It was a list of kitchen items she needed for the apt. One of them was a cauldron. Later I said to her: “Do you need a cauldron for your witches’ brew?” She sheepishly replied, “I think I meant colander”. </p>
<p>Now we have a new word for colander, but who knew we’d be adding ‘kidisms’ at this age?</p>
<p>When my son was 6 and my daughter was 3, we decided to plan a trip to Disney World. To make the kids feel a part of the decision making, I asked them where they wanted to go on vacation and suggested Disney World. My son jumped at the idea, but my daughter didn’t like it. She wanted to go to a McDonald’s Play Park.</p>
<p>Another time when my daughter was 3 or 4 she wanted to say the blessing at dinner. She went on and on and finished with asking God to bless all of the pregnant women. We didn’t know where that came from until a little later when I found out she wanted me to give her a little sister.</p>
<p>When S2 was about 4 he told us that he thought we should have another baby, BUT it had to be a boy and it needed to be older and bigger then S1.</p>
<p>Not the most glamorous story, but when D was 4 years/3 months (to the day) she walked in on me on the commode with the Money section of the USA Today and asked “Mommy, what does housing starts dip mean?” A year later, we were at a friends home who had a bedroom FULL of toys and tons of Barbie stuff, including “designer” Barbies worth up to $3,000 apiece. Mind you, this was all for a child who was barely a year old at the time. My D saw the room and of course her eyes got big and said a few oohs and ahs. My friend crudely said “oh, looks like GAdaughter is J-E-A-L-O-U-S,” spelling out the word. Without missing a beat, GAdaughter turned to her and said “Who’s jealous?” Makes me laugh to this day.</p>
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<p>My middle name is Judith. When the song “Hey Jude” came out, I was about 5 or 6, and I was absolutely convinced as a young girl that “Hey Jude” was written for me. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. I mean, why wouldn’t it be written about me?</p>
<p>Oh! I’m going to spell around censors. My mother was with my sister and her 5 yo daughter and my mother was describing something and used the word “bull * hit” by accident. My sister said something to the effect of “hey, watch it, little ears” and my mother apologized and then described whatever she was describing again, spelling out very conscientiously “B-U-L-L *hit”. Uh, not quite the part that we didn’t want the little ears to hear.</p>
<p>When my son was in preschool, he called the remote control the mote-kin control. We still call it that sometimes.</p>
<p>Around the same time, he enjoyed listening to Beach Boys music. When I told him that I listened to their music when I was in high school, he replied, “Well, they must be the Beach Pop-Pops by now!”</p>
<p>When my son was three, we lived in a rural part of central PA. There was a very strange intersection, with five roads converging onto one entrance ramp to the highway. Several of the roads were country roads and often had trucks and farm equipment entering the intersection. It was not my favorite part of town! One day we were driving and as I stopped at the light at the intersection, my son says from the back seat, “son of a b*tch”. Shocked, I asked him why he said that. His reply, “Mommy, you always say that when we come here”. I was quite embarrassed at being busted by my three year old and was much more careful from then on.</p>
<p>Another embarrassing moment, compliments of said son, was at dinner with dear family friends. Earlier in the day, I asked my sister in law how my mother in law was doing. She said, “She has been a real b<em>tch lately”. At dinner, family frined asks my husband how is mom was doing and on cue, 3 year old son pipes up, “Oh, she has been a real b</em>tch lately”. Out of the mouths of babes!</p>
<p>Not me, but my little sister use to say ‘Mooful’ for beautiful when she was like, 3 years old. Now that she’s 7, I still say it sometimes and she gets embarassed. :D</p>
<p>We were sitting in our large church one Sunday morning. The priest spoke into a microphone and the sound came through speakers in each of the pews. My then four year old, two three year olds and almost two year old started to chatter among themselves. They put their ear to the speaker and just as the priest was raising the cummunion cup (quiet time) my twin three year olds yelled out…“God are you in there?”…“Come out of there so we can talk to you”. The priest paused and looked over at my kids and smiled. The entire parish still remembers that day.</p>
<p>We pretty much never took anothercrazyson to mass but my grandma was visiting so we all went on Sunday, H and I pretending it wasn’t such an usual occurence. We settle into the pew mass is about to start, everything is quiet, 4 year old S says in a near shout “Hey I like this place, looks like Home Depot!”</p>