<p>I try to strike a balance between ethics and trying to make the most of the opportunities that come my way. As a low-level intern, how much can I realistically provide to the employer? I’m there to learn skills (technical and non-technical) and corporate culture. </p>
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<p>That sounds tough. I really hope that companies aren’t like that… but I’m really sorry that they did that to you. :(</p>
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<p>They did pay for a drug screen. One that happened to be 40 minutes away from school, and they weren’t even willing to subsidize transportation costs, which didn’t exactly make me happy. </p>
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<p>The advice they gave sounds sensible. It’s not ideal, because I do want to tell A sooner so that they can do something for themselves. It’s the least I can do for leaving them so late… the Career Office also wants to wait so that they can read and approve my resignation letter. </p>
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<p>I appreciate all the advice, no matter how different the opinions are. (though I’m starting to feel the effects of information overload … I never knew this thread would reach 7 pages!) </p>
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<p>I want to tell A by tomorrow, but B won’t have a written offer until Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest. Is this too long of a delay for A?</p>
<p>So you are talking about a delay of one or at most two days longer. I don’t think that is too long of a delay. I think you should follow the advice of your Career Center.</p>
<p>Also, is it bad that I’ve stayed up past 2 in the morning dwelling on this issue? I keep spending this time looking at other forums that deal with this issue, and I still can’t rest, even though it’s been 3 days since I’ve made my decision. </p>
<p>The problem is that I don’t know how things would have went had I gone the other way… and I still don’t know how things will ultimately unfold with this decision, which still is scaring me.</p>
<p>Dude, chill out. Things will work out and you’ll have an internship this summer and it’ll be a great experience that you’ll learn a lot from. No use stressing about it. Be grateful that you are so lucky and get the most out of it that you can. Internships are about you, not the company. It is the company’s opportunity to show off to you, to make you want to come work there after you graduate. If I was hiring, I certainly wouldn’t want an employee who was unhappy with where they were working. So don’t put yourself in that position, don’t stress out, and just relax.</p>
<p>Yes. Move on. There will be lots of decisions you make in life that you won’t know what would have happened had you made a different decision. If you let the unknowns of all of your decisions scare you, you’ll drive yourself nuts.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that internships are learning experiences for you, whether good or bad. Even if you take an internship and hate it, you have learned something about what you don’t want to do. That is equally valuable to having a perfect internship experience.</p>
<p>^^ You just need to get it over with and move on. It’s best not to let these things hang over your head - just do it and you won’t need to think about it anymore - it’ll seem like a weight is lifted off of your shoulders.</p>
<p>Well, it’s not that I don’t want to tell A today … it’s that they’ve already gone home for the day. (B is on the West Coast, so they’re a few hours behind me and A)</p>
<p>My career center told me specifically that I need to call them first and use the e-mail as a follow-up. They told me that I need to present the news in person. They thought that relying on e-mail wouldn’t be appropriate because they thought that this piece of news was way too serious for that. (which is going to be weird because how I’ve communicated with HR and my boss at A has always been through e-mail)</p>
<p>AB2013 - I have been following this. Use this episode as a learning experience. I am retired now, but I remember many of my performance review discussions. One review specifically pointed to my need to improve my decision making ability. I was coached to: Gather input from others, then make a decision if you are empowered to make that decision, then communicated with the parties involved and move on. It was great advice, and you will make decisions like this for the rest of your career. good luck</p>
<p>The longer you wait to call, the worse you’ll feel, and the more you’ll dread it. It’ll be hard, but you will be so relieved after you just deal with it, so try to do it as soon as possible.</p>
<p>In earlier posts you said you’d call employer A on Monday. You’ve had all day, but still failed to make the call - - and now you can’t “summon the courage to make the call TOMORROW!!??!” It’s really a matter of ethics (as it has been all along):</p>
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<li><p>you should have honored your original agreement</p></li>
<li><p>you should have informed A as soon as you got any offer from B (especially since, I believe, you have already started working for A)</p></li>
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<p>Clearly your plan is to work for A until the cross the threshold of B’s office, and then leave A in the lurch. If you don’t want to take the risk that B might reneg (as you intend to do with A), just keep your current job. Isn’t your fear of ending up with nothing - - and buyer’s remorse after accepting A’s early offer - - what got you into this sticky situation? </p>
<p>When you take the bird in the hand, you have to accept that you are giving up on the two in the bush (for the risk aversive, actuality beats potehtiality every time).</p>
<p>I’m the person who lets people cut in front of me in the lunch line because I need more time to decide what I want to eat. (problem!) </p>
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<p>That was before my career office pointed out I need a soft-copy from B and B telling me that they wouldn’t have a soft copy ready until Tuesday/Wednesday. They got it to me early (just a few hours ago) but that was after B had closed up shop for the day, however they said that would be contingent on a successful completion of a background check. </p>
<p>You are doing just fine. You are following the advice of the only paid advisor you have right now, your career center. This is exactly the way it is done.</p>
<p>If you have a difficult time making that call tomorrow, feel free to go into the career center office to call. They will walk you through it. Learning how to do this isn’t natural, it is just as much a part of your education as anything else you will do in school.</p>
<p>Have a great summer. It sounds as if you’ve used your contacts well, and arrived at a great opportunity. In life, and in business, this is how it really works. Good luck.</p>
<p>Well, life isn’t like that. Of course, you better not steal from the cookie jar! </p>
<p>You are doing fine and you are following the rules. Go to the career center to make the call tomorrow. You need a little hand-holding on this one, and there’s nothing wrong with that the first time you have to make a difficult choice. They will show you how to do it.</p>
<p>It never feels good to turn somebody down like this, but honestly, you aren’t doing anything “wrong.” If you were, the career center would definitely let you know because it would reflect poorly on them. </p>
<p>You’ll feel better when its over. Now, get some sleep. You are making yourself crrazy with this for no reason.</p>
Just kidding.</p>
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