<p>The OPs dad is the one who helped him to get the second internship.</p>
<p>It’s not very honorable to get between the OP and their dad, no matter how self-righteous it might make you feel at your key board.</p>
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<p>I honestly do not even begin to understand the posters who take this kind of position in this thread. There is absolutely nothing dishonorable about what the OP is doing. </p>
<p>Let’s take a very straightforward situation that many, many people face in their working lives. The situation is that you are working in a job – at Company A – which you decide at some point is not for you. The reason does not even matter. It could be that the pay is no longer enough, you do not get along with your boss, the work itself is not rewarding, the commute is too long – any reason at all. The point is, you no longer want to work for Company A.</p>
<p>So you start looking for a new job. You send out resumes, go on interviews, etc., until finally, you have a firm offer from another company – Company B – for a job that meets all your requirements, and you finally and happily accept that offer. </p>
<p>At what point do you tell company A? I can’t imagine anyone in that situation (a situation which I have been in more than once in my life) telling Company A that you are leaving until you have actually accepted Company B’s offer. Well wait, I can imagine one situation, which is if you hope that if Company A knows you might leave, Company A will try to entice you back, with a higher salary, or whatever else you want. In that case, you could tell Company A that you have an offer from another company that you are considering accepting, thus giving Company A the opportunity to try to convince you not to leave. But if you are sure that you want to leave Company A and that there is nothing they could do to change your mind, then you wait to give notice until you have accepted Company B’s firm offer and are truly ready to move on.</p>
<p>I do not think any company should hold this against you. </p>
<p>I do think it is good form to give Company A as much notice as you can under those circumstances, so that you can finish up work on current projects and perhaps give them time to hire a replacement. I think there is even a rule of thumb that the amount of notice you give should equal the amount of your yearly vacation. So if you are entitled to two weeks’ vacation a year, you should try to give two weeks’ notice – but again, not until you have accepted Company B’s firm offer.</p>
<p>Here, the OP was waiting to get the firm offer from Company B before telling Company A. I see nothing wrong with that whatsoever, just as there would be nothing wrong with doing that if he had been working for Company A as a valued employee for a number of years. And keep in mind that he had not yet started working for Company A, and that in any case, we are talking about a low-level summer intern position. The loss of such an employee is not likely to do any real harm to Company A’s business.</p>
<p>OP, you are doing fine. Try to relax. Just let Company A know that you will not be doing the internship there this summer. Then, as other posters have advised, move on with your life and have a great summer.</p>
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<p>(I know it’s 3 a.m., but I have good reason: I had computer issues, spent hours cursing at my computer, got it fixed, and had paperwork to do.) </p>
<p>How can I start out the phone conversation with A? Does this sound like a good plan? (kind of blunt) </p>
<p>(1) Greet recruiter.
(2) “This is ab2013. How are you doing?”
(3) “I’m really, really sorry to say that I will not be able to intern at company A this summer, because I received another offer that I feel better matches my interest for this summer – it is longer in duration and is closer to my field. This decision has been very difficult for me; however, I appreciate the time and consideration that company A has invested in me.” </p>
<p>I’m having trouble figuring out HOW to deliver this message. This way seems too blunt and direct, and it doesn’t seem to deliver the “gracious-ness” that I want. And it makes for a 2 minute conversation when the recruiter cuts me off on purpose.</p>
<p>You’re correct that this will be an uncomfortable conversation–on both sides. And frankly I don’t see any reason for you to have it, notwithstanding your career center’s desire that you handle this with a phone call (which is only a recommendation, not a strait jacket). I would put a well-written, formal letter in overnight mail to Company A. This path will permit you to get your whole story out without interruption, save you from nervously bumbling and stuttering through a conversation, and save the party on the other end of the phone from being taken by surprise and having to figure out on the fly how to respond to you. It’s a perfectly respectable way to handle this sort of communication. Company A couldn’t care less whether you call, email, write or send a smoke signal. They just need the information promptly so they can react. Pop a letter in Fed Ex today, and for heaven’s sake stop stressing about this very minor blip in your life! Remember, this was the firm that made you an offer with no idea how they were even going to use your services. You aren’t throwing the place into a frenzy; they haven’t been waiting with bated breath for you to show up; your contribution was going to be minimal; they’ll do just fine without you; your name will be forgotten in no time. Now go eat a cookie, play a video game, flirt with someone–and relax!</p>
<p>(Why should you pay attention to my advice? Because I’ve been in the corporate world for 30+ years in a variety of industries, run an HR department, hired and fired many people, and survived mergers, spin-offs and downsizings.)</p>
<p>No company is going to look poorly on you for sending an email first. If I were to make a phone call, this is what I’d say.</p>
<p>“Hi this is (insert name here). I’m calling to inform you that I will not be able to intern at your company this summer. I have received an offer at another company which I cannot turn down. I’m sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you, please accept my apologies and my thanks for offering me a position.”</p>
<p>Whatever you decide to do though, do it today. Companies get bad news all the time, it’s part of being in business. However, you’re making the news far worse for them the longer you decide to put it off because you’re scared. Suck it up and do it already. Go to the career center to make the call if you want some support, but the most important things is that you do it. It doesn’t matter how embarrassed, bumbling, or bad you feel as long as you inform the company as soon as possible. Which is right now.</p>
<p>Most of the time there isn’t a good way to deliver bad news.</p>
<p>You’re not delivering news that a spouse died or that there was a horrible accident - just something that’s a mundane business decision.</p>
<p>Some people may start off with: “There’s no good way to say this …,”</p>
<p>Just want to remind you that this is not a personal relationship, and the conversation will not be personal. You seem to want them to still like you, so to speak, but that is not relevant. The conversation may or may not give you the reassurance that your conscience craves. Either way, time to do it and move on.</p>
<p>The main thing is, A needs to know asap, this morning, so that they can fill the position with another intern. At this point, they have less than 2 weeks.</p>
<p>If you never want to work in the field of A, then burn that bridge. You know that you can never probably go back to them for any reason, though. Just be professional and do it now! Some other kid out there wants that job. </p>
<p>Just FYI, I am personally in agreement with those who side with integrity. I would expect my kid to honor their contract with A. Then tell B that although you would love to work for them, you have made a previous commitment and would like to be considered for the B internship next summer. I bet that B would appreciate your integrity.</p>
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<p>lkf725, I realize you might not have meant to use the word “contract” in a legal sense, but just a reminder: legally speaking, this is an at-will employment situation where the employee is free to quit (or not start work in the first place), just as the employer is free to fire the employee. There would be no liability for breach of contract by either party. This is not a contractual employment situation.</p>
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<p>Does anyone else recommend this solution? The letter is all set and ready to go, but my mouth is nowhere close to bringing these words to A. And my career office is seemingly insistent on this. </p>
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<p>Yes both are at-will. I still have ethical qualms about ditching A. Nonetheless, I ultimately accepted B, so going back to A would not be good.</p>
<p>I would send the letter, and quickly. I think it’s a fine solution. They get the information in a coherent respectful way and it’ll wrap it up more succinctly than an embarrassed fumbling apology on the phone. At this point getting the information to them is more important than how it arrives, in my opinion.</p>
<p>You aren’t throwing the place into a frenzy; they haven’t been waiting with bated breath for you to show up; your contribution was going to be minimal; they’ll do just fine without you; your name will be forgotten in no time. Now go eat a cookie, play a video game, flirt with someone–and relax!</p>
<p>In years of reading threads on these boards, this might be the best, and best put, advice Ive ever read!</p>
<p>Yeah … but it almost seems a bit idealistic…</p>
<p>Question: If A is angered/PO-ed and makes threats (worse case scenario), how can I try to diffuse their anger?</p>
<p>They’re not going to be angry. If they are, just say it’s nothing personal. If they actually make threats, then good riddance, you wouldn’t want to work for them anyways.</p>
<p>Stop worrying so much and put that letter in the mail. The longer you delay the more trouble it is going to be for them. It’s already been five whole days since you started this thread. That’s five days that the company could have used to find someone else. You are doing nobody, least of all yourself, any favors by continuing to delay.</p>
<p>If they ask who I’m leaving them for, do I have the right to not answer that question?</p>
<p>Sure, just say “I’d rather not say”, but the chances of them calling to ask after receiving the letter are rather small. I would think that they’d just move on. I sure hope you’ve already mailed that letter.</p>
<p>Oh … I’m planning to call them shortly, but I’m concerned that they will ask this sort of question during the conversation. I’m also going to mail a soft-copy and a hard-copy of the letter to them.</p>
<p>You’ll do fine, and I applaud you’re determination to talk to them directly. Our imaginations are almost always worse than the reality. Good luck, and I’d be very interested to know what happens.</p>
<p>Wait until you have to start firing people someday…that´s when you´ll get people burst out crying, or have your life threatened. Looking back someday, this will seem like walk in the park.</p>
<p>So I tried several times to call in the past hour, and no one at A’s HR is picking up their phone. I have my letter ready for FedEx-ing and for e-mailing. In the interest of letting them know ASAP, should I give them written notice instead?</p>
<p>It’s been so anticlimatic. It’s so hard to muster up courage for this kind of stuff.</p>