Really, tenants don’t usually make repairs. In fact, most landlords don’t want tenants messing with things. It IS important to call the landlord IMMEDIATELY if there is a problem, even if it seems small to you (especially anything involving water/plumbing - dripping under the sink, water spots on a ceiling where there were none before, etc.). D had a toilet with a problem last spring, didn’t call the landlord, and then had a disaster when another roommate used it and it overflowed for HOURS into the room of the guy downstairs.
I have never heard of tenants being responsible for repairs, and eviction for not doing exterior upkeep - what does that even mean?
They wouldn’t declare you emancipated if the parents pay the rent.
Changing my thought to unequivocal ‘no’ - mainly until your parents can discern their legal obligations in your state. As other responses mention they might be able to establish a guardian.
If I were them I would not do it without info from a competent, qualified attorney.
You sound responsible enough to live on your own, but your school may require you to have a guardian until you turn 18.
We have served as the local guardian for an international boarding student at my kids’ high school. I suggest you look into a similar arrangement. Do your parents have a local adult friend who would be willing to do this? Really, all we did was drive our ward to various non-school related practices and tests, and helped him get prescriptions. We also signed forms for field trips and were the contact people in case of illness or accident. We’re empty nesters (well, sort of–our youngest will be a college sophomore in September), so we had the time to take on this responsibility. If your parents know someone in a similar situation, that would be ideal.
It’s a long time ago now, but a friend of my D’s did this…and he didn’t have a sibling to share the burden. He went to Bronx Science HS. He lived with his divorced mom. She got offered a great job in Miami as a hospital administrator. He didn’t want to move senior year. So…he didn’t. He did have an uncle living about 90 minutes or so away in Westchester. Moving in with him wasn’t an option because, among other things, it would have made him ineligible for a NYC public school.
Mom flew in for a weekend every few weeks.
He did fine. Even I knew what was going on…but school didn’t. (I really think going to your school and asking the administrators what you need to do is insane; of course, they will object…They want to CYA. If you are going to do it, just do it. )
Of course, he didn’t have to rent an apartment. He just stayed in the one his mom and he lived in.
I don’t think you need a “temporary guardian.” Just get a form in which your parents say he has the authority to make medical decisions in an emergency if they can’t be reached. I was a full time working mommy and I gave my babysitter a form like that.
I have to say, as someone that rents out apartments, I would not take the risks involved with renting to two 17 year olds, no matter who signed the lease or how mature you are. Legally you are not adults and that is how I would see you with my landlord eyes. Also, if I found that a parent that signed the lease was faking it and not in residence, I would begin eviction procedures. Sorry to deliver that news, but you must consider this as you search for an apartment. Not all landlords see things the same way though, YMMV. I wish you success in your search.
As a parent, I would want to try to keep you, especially two of you, at your high school until you finish. I would be in contact with the school now (if anyone is on duty in July) to make sure the arrangement will stand. It’s a lot of trouble to go through to arrange this only to find out that you are ineligible to attend. I believe our school district (and it IS different everywhere) would not let you attend, even if you lived in the zone, without an adult legal guardian also living at the residence. But I am pretty sure the 20 year old relative, if he lived with you would cut it for our district. I would recruit him to be your adult if it comes to that.
Will your parents come to see you each weekend (since you can’t drive to them)? I think that would make it more do able. I have known other kids that did this. In each case, they lived with a family as their own family moved away cross country. It’s like having an exchange student! If you can find the living arrangements that work, I think you can make it work, especially because there are two of you.
Three hours is a very long time if you have a broken ankle and the people at the ER can’t even give you a pain pill. Also, 3 hours might very well turn into a day or more if this is a part of the country that gets snow.
While not entirely the same, my daughter went off to college in NYC at age 16 1/2, which was 6 hours away from home.
Personally, I think your arrangement is doable and some good advice has been shared as to how to do it.
Come on, parents can be hours away with one kid while another has an accident. Parental consent may be able to be given over the phone or via faxed/emailed signatures if there is the need to set a bone. But also agree that a responsible adult in the area should be given legal permission to authorize medical care for you.
I think the biggest hurdles will be the landlord and if the HS will set up any obstacles. It would be great if your 20-something relative could stay with you, at least most of the time.
How do you feel about this? Are you nervous? Is there any concern that friends/kids from school may view this as a place to hang out? When do you both turn 18?
Is there any option to live with a family with your parents paying the cost of the apartment as room and board?
I certainly think this could work, but may be some obstacles.
I think you very much need to check your high school residency requirements. Around here…the place of residence for HS students is the residence of their parents. Even WITH an apartment, if your parent permanent residence is elsewhere, you and your sibs would be paying tuition to attend our schools.
Check to see what is the policy of your school district.
Have the laws changed in the last few years? I went to the ER several times by myself under the age of 18. I never needed parental permission for them to give me pain meds. (I turned 18 in 2009).
3 hours away is a lot closer than my parents were when I was alone in high school. And no, no need to be emancipated. I think some people are making a far bigger deal about this than it is.
Remember, many people go off to college when they’re 17 (or younger!)
A little over 35 years ago, my parents had plans and had asked my neighbors to keep an eye on me for a few hours. While my neighbors were ‘watching’ me, I broke my arm and they took me to the hospital.
I sat there waiting since they could not even take x-rays without parental consent and couldn’t set the bone without the x-rays. Since that was in the days before cell phones (and even pagers), they had to send the police out to get my parents and tell them “I’d been involved in an accident” - my mom was nearly hyperventilating by the time she’d gotten to the hospital.
But it all worked out.
And even though there may be some minor difficulties, so long as it’s approved by the landlord, these young women should be able to live a year on their own. My second college roommate started college when she was still 15, after one semester her parents helped her move out of the dorm and into an apartment by herself. I thought she was a bit too immature to be living on her own, but she managed to survive.
When my ex (my son’s dad) was in high school, his mom had a house fire that completely destroyed their home, Not wanting to change schools, he lived a year with a friend and friends parents until the house was rebuilt/repaired. If you can’t find a landlord that approves, do you and your sister have friends who might let you stay with them or rent you a room in their homes?
It’s hard to believe the level of negativity from some people in this thread.
Sure, there are some challenges, but it sounds like the OP and her sister are able to handle this (as most 17-year-olds would be, by the way). If they weren’t, their parents probably wouldn’t be considering it.
I think these student are capable of doing this.
I wasn’t trying to be negative when I suggested checking if their school district determined residency by where patents live.
It would be awful to sign a lease and find out in November that you also had to pay tuition.
“it’s an affordable 1 bedroom”
If your male cousin is going to live with you where is he going to sleep? Also I’m not sure what the occupancy # is for the 1 bedroom apartment. I would look for a 2 bedroom if he is going to stay with you.
Thank you for all the advice everyone, it’s been very very helpful.
@Massmomm how did you become a legal guardian (was there a document you had to get)?
@MichiganGeorgia if the male cousin were living with us, it would change the living situation because we’d get a 2 bedroom. I don’t think he will be living with us though because my parents will think it’s asking too much of him (which I understand, but he has been living with us for almost 3 years and will be moving with the rest of the family to continue living with us…so I kind of feel like, would it be really too much to ask? But I get where they’re comjng from.)
My daughter started college in a different state when she was 17, and the biggest problem we had is that she couldn’t travel to orientation (which required an overnight stay off campus) by herself because she couldn’t rent a motel room until she turned 18. I agree that the biggest concerns for you are parental consent for medical emergencies, if they apply in your area, and the HS’s policies. See what the online handbook for your HS says. While this isn’t the same as your situation, our HS handbook encourages homeless students to attend school and provides a contact number. It may be better to start with a resource like that than alerting the administration to your situation right off the bat.
What I gather from all the advice:
-We should keep it on the down low since the school would likely not be okay with the situation.
-We should have a guardian capable of taking responsibility in case of medical emergencies/etc. Need a legal doc for this? Or is it informal?
-Have guardian sign permission slips? Or sign them ourselves? We could always fax them to parents too.
-Biggest hurdle would be actually getting a landlord to rent to us. Get dad to fill out the whole application in his name? Or should we explicitly say that two 17 year old girls will be living in the apartment with everything paid for by the parents? The latter might make it more un-likely. Also, the company we’re looking to rent from has a lot of other rentals so it’s not like this one landlord that’s always around. The place isn’t like a huge apartment complex, but a renovated historic home that has separate “apartments” for each renter. So not really a traditional apartment, but a bit like a town home.
- Once we actually are able to get the rent, everything should be relatively easy. Neither my sister or I have ever been to the emergency room, no broken bones, no prescription meds (the most we usually take is aspirin). Fingers crossed that there won't be an medical emergencies, but in that case, we have our relative who lives in town. Basically, we walk 15 min to school each day and back, and everything should be okay (we have a lot of friends willing to give us rides too).
-We’ll also be sure to make sure that we’re being responsible (no people over except maybe a few select friends).
We turn 18 on February 2017.
I think its quite doable.
Parents can show up in fairly short time if needed for emergency. They can give consent.
Make sure someone of age is able to give medical consent immediately if needed (which is good for ANYBODY who has kids outside the home). Always keep emergency contacts up to date with appropriate ability to consent to medical intervention.
Forms to be signed can be done over e-mail.
Parents will have to lease apartment.
Check on residency requirements for your school–not a big deal if it’s a private but public schools can get sticky.
How do YOU feel about it? You’ll be on your own soon at any rate but in the meantime it’s like starting college without some of the support systems you may find there. And more restrictions.
You have to do all the cleaning, washing, cooking etc that comes with living on your own. Grocery shopping. Trash. Washing clothes. Quite doable and maybe no big deal on paper but it can be a learning curve to get the routine right.
Plus transportation. Money provided for Uber or taxis or buses? Don’t rely on relative for everything. Don’t know where you live but you may need a car. Ready transportation is very important.
You’ll be relying on your sibling much more than you may realize at this moment. That is either a fine thing or not so good in a big way. Parents always hope siblings will work together but that isn’t always the case.