My sister and I are both entering our senior year of high school at one of the best public schools in the country. The thing is, our whole family is moving to an area 3 hours away (In the same state). We have 2 younger siblings (one who is entering HS). Our parents think it would be best that we finish high school in the same school (especially given the 3 years of the very difficult school we’ve already completed and the fact that students here get a lot of scholarships, and the fact that there’s no grade inflation). We’ve both worked really hard to reach where we are, both have leadership positions for next year, and we’re in IB (already started the 15 pg EE, done CAS, etc).
My parents are immigrants so to them it’s not that big of a deal (us renting) but apparently my dad’s colleagues are shocked by the idea.
My sister and I (also female) are both responsible students. We know how to cook, clean, etc and all the basics required for living on our own. We already do a lot of the cooking & cleaning at home.
We don’t drive, but our school is downtown and we have found an apartment that is within a 15 min walking distance. There are a lot of homes/apartments downtown and the one we’ve found is in a safe area in the historic district. We’re familiar with the downtown area and the library is also within walking distance. We also don’t currently have a job, but our parents are paying for the apartment (it’s an affordable 1 bedroom). We hope to look for a job downtown (within walking distance) but I think that would be unlikely. Either way, our parents have said they will pay (and we’re very very thankful for that).
We have some family that also lives here, so we have someone to contact in case of an emergency and a lot of our friends drive, if we should need a ride once in a while.
In regards to the college application process, they’re probably going to be as involved as they would have been had this situation been different. Which is to say, they’d have been involved but most of the responsibility would fall on us.
How would we go about renting an apartment? Is it okay if my dad leases the apartment out in his name, but my sister and I live in it?
I put this here because I am looking for some advice from parents.
Thank you for reading all this! Any help and insight would be greatly appreciated!
ETA: PS: I lived for months on my own on and off throughout high school- sometimes alone, sometimes with my boyfriend. PM me if you’d like if you have any questions. Parents on here will give you plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t (and maybe should) do it. I have no desire to convince you or your family one way or another but I can give you practical advice if you are going to live on your own.
It’s really up to the landlord. It’s likely your father will have to rent it an list you and your sister as additional occupants. Many landlords will not rent to you if they know your parents will not be there. It’s up to them.
You may have an issue with your high school too. My nephew ran into this problem when his mother was moving away during his senior year. He was 18, he was living with some friends who were also 18 (or older, graduated) but the school wouldn’t accept that as a living arrangement. They didn’t want him responsible for himself even if he was 18. They worked it out when another adult agreed to be a supervisor of him.
Do you have an adult relative who can move in with you? Is there a college in the area where an older student would be willing to live with you for free rent and supervise? You might not think you need help, but there are many things you can’t do as a 17 year old. Ex., the other day I bought NyQuil and needed to show an ID. You may need medical care, you may need permission slips for high school.
Yes, we were also worried about what the school would think about the situation. We have a cousin in his 20s who has been living with us for 3 years now (immigrated to US from the same country). The plan was that he move with them and continue staying with us. He has a job, car, and he’s responsible, he just lives with us.
My parents haven’t mentioned the idea of him living with us, so I assume they think it would be asking too much of him. But, we will mention it to them and see what they say.
Throughout the year, you will be asked for parent signatures for forms from your high school. If you don’t drive, and they are 3 hours away, how will you get immediate signatures? Sometimes things come up, that are unexpected. You need an adult that can be accountable.
If you have an accident or are ill, how will you sign medical and financial releases to pay for services? It’s an issue of liability. Your cousin can’t be held medically and financially responsible for both of you. Its not fair to him and it places him in a really bad situation.
If you say you don’t get ill or sick or avoid health services, what if you are in an accident?
A lot of landlords would not look favorably on the situation.
I agree, it’s definitely such a bad situation. As I said before, we do have an emergency contact in cases of emergencies. Our emergency contact is family but we don’t want to rely on him too much because he has 3 kids (1 newborn). My school has all forms at the beginning of the year and they’re posted online, so my parents are planning on signing them. You have no idea how much I wish this whole situation could just go away! It makes you realize how lucky you are to have parents that provide all this for you (and more).
This is definitely not an ideal situation, and we would not be doing it if we felt there was an option that was truly better. It’s only temporary after all, and we’re hoping we’ll be able to manage for the “short” time that school is in session.
Unfortunately no, my mom is starting a masters program at a university there. & the move was because my dad got a job up there. So basically, their hands are tied.
Emergency contact is NOT the same as being a financially and medically responsible adult.
Even when you turn 18, you’re not out of the woods. What happens if your rental needs repairs? Plumbing fees are awful. Utilities and any issues or repairs need to be addressed immediately. You can be evicted at any time IF your landlord feels you are not providing interior and exterior upkeep. My daughter’s apartment had a flood as the result of a pipe bursting. We were able to cover her through her homeowners rental insurance and our insurance.
If you are a senior this year, you will be getting a number of forms that sporadically come up,
I’m too familiar with the beginning of the year forms. We’re talking things that need to be turned in within a 24 hour time frame. They do come up all of the time in your senior year!
I agree with everything you’re saying. There are a lot of “what ifs” that come into play. We’re just trying to be as optimistic as possible and trying to hope everything works out well. Our dad has already made it clear that if there is even one misstep, we’ll have to finish senior year elsewhere. I’ll see about having our cousin (he’s really our uncle but he’s only in his 20s) stay with us. Do you think that would help with the situation?
It’s doable. Renters don’t pay to fix plumbing. That’s the “advantage” of renting v. ownership for some. If you are both 17 and mature and your parents will check in on some weekends I’d say do it. I was still 17 when I moved into my first apartment and I survived. You will need an emergency contact and to have insurance cards. Most of the forms my kids come home with to be signed can be signed via email. Your dad will probably have to rent the apartment and claim he travels a lot for his job. Most landlords are not going to want unsupervised teens as tenants. Absolutely do not allow your apartment to become party central or you’ll wind up evicted. If your parents trust you who are we to say you’re not mature enough?
I went to college at age 16, and age 17 rented a shared apartment with other students. My university was 3 states away from where my parents lived. We had to sign a year-long lease beginning in June, and my 3 roommates were going home to their respective cities in the summer- but I wanted to stay in my college town because I wanted to stay year-round to establish residency in my college state, and so that I could qualify for in-state tuition. So I was pretty much on my own that summer – my roommates found one student to sublet, so I did have a roommate - but she had a known, potentially serious, episodic medical condition. There weren’t any problems that summer fortunately… but in hindsight that was a lot of responsibility on my 17-year-old shoulders.
I think these day all of the issues like paperwork are easy to manage-- forms can be faxed or scanned if necessary.
The main problems I see are this: a landlord is going to someone over 18 to sign the lease, for legal purposes – so yes, your father will need to be on the lease. Also, you’ll need to check into the legalities in your state & city-- you don’t want your parents to get in trouble with the law for “neglecting” or “abandoning” you. So I’d suggest arranging a consultation with a lawyer in your state. The laws are different in every state – so no one on CC can really advise you
I do think your parents should make arrangements with a trusted older relative to periodically check in on you guys. You sound like you are serious students, and your parents obviously trust you… but I think i would be better all around if you could point to a responsible adult if there were ever any inquiries. It also might be appropriate for your parents to draw up legal papers to appoint that person as a legal, temporary guardian. Again, that’s where a consultation with a lawyer is helpful.
It is doable if you are responsible. I would have your parents come up every week or every other week, 1) to check up on you, 2) to let landlord know they come “home” on weekend. I would make sure you never do anything in the apartment that landlord would be contacted. If evicted, you may not be able to continue to go to your school, and that would be bad for your senior year.
I would have your parents to sign a consent to have someone (relative) be responsible for your medical care if you should have to go to hospital.
It’s definitely doable. It may be helpful to become emancipated. I was when I was 16 and it allowed me to sign for school things and make medical decisions on my own.
This is absolutely crucial. A hospital will treat you if you would die without treatment, but in most other situations, they can’t treat you without the consent of your parents or another adult who has the authority to give consent for treatment. You may need a lawyer’s help to get the proper paperwork done so that your local relative (the one with the newborn) can consent to having you treated. The last thing that you or your parents would want is for you or your sister to get injured – say, with a broken arm or leg – and have to wait for many hours before you could be treated because your parent has to drive three hours to give consent for the hospital to do anything.
Another point: Is the address of the apartment you want to rent within the area that sends students to your current high school? If it isn’t, you might have to switch schools within your current community (which might mean losing your IB program).
And one more point: Your father’s name is going to have to be on the lease, with you and your sister as additional residents. But three people may be more than the landlord is allowed to have in a one-bedroom. So you might want to see if there are any affordable two-bedroom apartments in the same area. There’s nothing unusual about three people sharing a two-bedroom apartment.
I don’t think our parents would be okay with us being emancipated. Seems a bit drastic, given that this is all temporary. & I’m not sure how long it would take, since school starts in about 3 weeks. @jym626
I definitely agree that our relative in town should serve as a sort of guardian/emergency contact, so we’ll look into doing that. Will we have to get a legal document listing him as a temporary guardian?
These parents are not going overseas. They will be 3 hours away. In case of medical treatment being necessary, or anything else, they can be there in 3 hours. I’m sure it’s not the ideal situation but sounds perfectly doable assuming you can find a place to rent. I’m sure there are high school students living in much worse situations even with parents around. You will have to have your father sign the lease, but other than that it sounds okay to me.