Reported My Teacher... Now I'm Nervous

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

I am really nervous about something that happened recently…

I am a part of both Marching/Concert Band and Percussion Ensemble. Percussion Ensemble is an after-school practice that takes place once a week where the percussion section can learn additional pieces if they choose to come and practice. It used to be a lot of fun because I really like my band director. Unfortunately, this semester my band director had other obligations during our rehearsal time, so he is having my math teacher run the ensemble. My math teacher is an incompetent teaching in both Precalculus and in Percussion Ensemble. He simply does not know how to teach and is awkward and confusing. He also thinks he’s really smart but often times gets the math wrong in class or the rhythms wrong in percussion ensemble. Anyhow, my goal for myself junior year was to become more outgoing because I’ve always been quite shy and I was bullied a lot as a kid. I feel that I have succeeded and I’ve made a lot more “school friends” in my classes outside of my usual friend group that I hang out with outside of school.

I like to joke around a lot in class, and me and one of the kids in my group in math like to tease each other. We both laugh and have a good time and it’s never been an issue. The other night during percussion ensemble, my teacher was explaining how people would not know our names or personalities when referring to us, so they would just call us by the instrument we play. Then he turned to me and said “for example, people would just call you ‘that conga player.’” I responded by saying “They’d call me the best conga player in the world!” in an obviously joking way. It’s just part of my personality to make jokes like that, and no one has ever had a problem with it before. All of sudden, my teacher got really pissed off and turned to the other two in the ensemble (one of whom is my best friend) and said “This is exactly what I was talking about!!! We need to talk after rehearsal!”

So once I cleaned up, I went to go talk to him, and he told me that he’s seen a huge change in me and he doesn’t like the “direction I’m going in.” He said my personality has changed and I’m too cocky in class. Then he told me that I’m pushing people away (which is completely untrue) and he said that no one would like me in college if I kept up my smug personality. Then I asked him to provide examples of me being cocky, and he couldn’t come up with any. He said that he’s “not good with examples.” I tried to explain to him that I joke around with my friends a lot and I don’t mean anything seriously, but he obviously doesn’t have a sense of humor so he just lectured me about how arrogance isn’t funny. He told me can “see me pushing people away” and that no one in life would ever want to be around me. This really upset me, and it upset my parents.

The people I talked to the next day were appalled by what he said and told me it was completely untrue. I even talked to two of my other teachers about this and they couldn’t believe it. My history teacher told me that he had no idea where my math teacher would get the idea that I’m arrogant. I decided the best thing to do would be to email my principal about the issue. He told me to make an appointment to meet with him to investigate the issue, which I did. Our meeting is going to be this week, but I’m nervous that my math teacher is going to call me out in class like he does in percussion ensemble or drop my grade because I reported him.

Have any of you been in this situation before? Any advice?

2

Can’t imagine where he got the idea you were “cocky”.

My advice is to prepare an apology. Your feelings were hurt and you said some things you should not have.

3

@JustOneDad Why should I apologize? If anything, he should apologize. I did not say anything that I feel sorry about. I have done nothing wrong. Don’t victim-blame.

4

I think you were out of line and disrespectful to this teacher during practice. I agree with JustOneDad, prepare an apology.

5

@Bardinators - it’s a bit late for an apology because you’re having this meeting with the Principal. Look, I’m a teacher and a mom and obviously I was once a HS student, so I can kind of see a lot of sides to this. Here’s what’s going to happen - you’re going to meet with the Principal. If you are cocky in the meeting, s/he won’t take your complaint very seriously. And it’s totally irrelevant what the History teacher said, and IMO it would weaken your position to mention it to the Principal.

Either way, the Principal will listen and then go to talk to the teacher. The Principal will say that you said xyz and does the teacher have a response to that, and the teacher will give his side of what happened, and everyone will say let’s move forward to finish the year on a positive note and that will be that. If the teacher has reason to think that you are arrogant, then you denying it won’t really change anything.

If the Principal/teacher/parents request a larger meeting, you might have a chance to back down and at least apologize for your rude comment (and it was rude to the other kids and a bit cheeky in the middle of class to boot - though if I had someone say that, I would likely have raised my eyebrows and said, “thank you for clarifying” with a smile - but yes, I would have considered it rude even if I didn’t say so). You would need to take responsibility for your behavior, particularly if you want anyone to even pay attention to whatever the teacher said that you think is inappropriate.

It’s very important that you understand something: apologies make you stronger, and make you appear more trustworthy, not the opposite. If you refuse to acknowledge something you did wrong (and your assertion of “victim-blaming” does this) then you seem unreliable and weaker than if you acknowledge that you were not perfect.

On the other hand, nearly all teachers are professional enough that one altercation like this won’t make any difference in your day-to-day classes. If you want to be sure that there aren’t repercussions, try being really really nice and respectful for at least 2-3 weeks (institutional memory), particularly in Precalculus and Percussion. Be very polite, smile and be nice to the teacher, no sullen stuff and certainly no rude comments.

I worry that you overestimate your own power in this, i.e saying that you “reported” a teacher - most adults would take that headline to mean that there was some real issue like breaking the law. What you did is email the Principal about a conversation with a teacher that you thought didn’t go well. This happens a lot, and probably more these days than it ever did in the past. In general, HS administrations view kids with this kind of attitude as basically feeling overly entitled. At least you didn’t get your parents involved. Then the administration would have added “immature” to “entitled” - neither of which you want added to your reputation.

I don’t know what year you are (junior?) but it’s not a great idea to start making enemies around school since you want a very professional and positive relationship with these people. With a teacher who teaches you two classes in totally disparate disciplines, you blew an opportunity for an amazing recommendation letter - well, maybe you can still recover the relationship and turn it around into an even better letter.

Finally, it’s not clear to me that you, as a student, are in a position to judge how good your teacher is at teaching, let alone how “smart” he is. It may be that your styles clash, or that the material is difficult for you - or indeed, there may be issues with the teaching. If you originally signed up for Percussion because you liked the teacher (Band Director), then it might be the case that you are a person who learns best (only?) from those with whom you have a personal rapport. That’s something worth thinking about, and possibly working on, as you move forward in your education.

6

I think there are a few things. For one, your perspective that this teacher is subpar influences what you think of the entire interaction. That’s probably where other posters are agreeing with the cocky thing. Then the teacher was being serious about something and you misjudged and cracked a joke. Do I think the teacher over reacted? From your description I do. But reporting it is also an over reaction IMO.

Let me be clear, I have been there with a jerk of a teacher. My 11th grade teacher completely over reacted to something and caused a huge scene with me in school. Other teaxhers witnessed at least some of her over the top verbal reaction. I talked to a counselor who wanted to do the whole meeting thing (I talked to the counselor get my side out to someone because I knew she was going to run to the prinicipal with hers.) I chose not to push forward. The prinicipal pulled me aside the next day to ask what I wanted to do (ie meeting with teacher and parents, etc) and I said I didn’t want to do anything, I just wanted to finish the class and move on as long as she would not bring it up again. To her credit, she did not take any of it out in my grades. I ignored another barb or two and survived. I still have little respect for her 24 years later. I still think she was beyond wrong for what caused the scene and her reaction to it. I am also glad I took a higher road and didn’t escalate the entire thing.

Good luck, I hope this situation can be smoothed out relatively easily.

7

I’d be more concerned that your band director pawned off his teaching onto a math teacher???

But yeah. My actual band teacher could go off like that at the slightest provocation. Some teachers you just can’t joke around with. You’re probably going to have to de-escalate the situation – reporting it probably made it worse.

8

What makes a Math teacher qualify to be a Band director?

9

Part of the problem with issues like this is that we were not there, so we have no idea how it was said. Tone of voice, body language, overall context. And hearing the story on the internet makes it worse because it is natural to “hear” it based on our own personalities, inclinations, moods, whatever. I read this and thought what the OP said was not even close to being a big deal. We joked around like that all the time in band, on our hockey team, etc. With the teacher or coach there. Certainly in sports you are encouraged to think you are the best at your position. That is part of excelling.

So I think it is very hard to know if the joke, no matter the intent, truly did not come out the way it was meant, or if this teacher is a little bit “off”. If it is the latter, I would think the principal would know it and, if you present yourself calmly and make it clear what your intent was, then you should be fine. And while perhaps you don’t owe him an apology, sometimes in life when someone has some amount of power over you, it can be better to do the “non-apology” apology. Like “I am sorry if you took my remark as being arrogant. It isn’t at all what I intended, but I will certainly keep it in mind in the future that it can be taken that way”. If you do this in front of the principal, that would I think go a long way in your favor.

10

From the OP’s post, it sounds like the math teacher was filling in to help out. From the OP: “Unfortunately, this semester my band director had other obligations during our rehearsal time, so he is having my math teacher run the ensemble.”

11

@suzy100 So, logically, the OP is right, the Math teacher is in fact,
" incompetent teaching in both Precalculus and in Percussion Ensemble"

12

How does that mean that “logically, the OP is right”? Even if it’s true that the teacher had no experience in band (do we know that?), the OP behaved in a way that raised a red flag with the teacher and sounds like it was disrespectful. Sorry, but it sounds like the OP feels entitled to disrupt class and is not happy to have to deal with any type of repercussion. He or she has been given some great advice from folks here on this thread that I hope will be taken in the spirit it was given.

13

Honestly you took his comments to seriously, probably because he suggested that you where doing the very thing you set out not to do, but he’s definitly wrong, since all you’re friends think he’s wrong. BUT HE’S YOUR TEACHER, seriously this isn’t some fair and equal place, just nod you’re head “oh yes sir, thank you for helping me”, don’t do anything in front of him, and act the way you are everywhere else. Because when it comes to dealing with teacher complaints, even if they are in the wrong, you get hosed.

14

I don’t understand how the teacher, who is not trained or certified to teach orchestra (Math teacher) is allowed to do so?
I have seen many such idiotic examples at my kids ex-school. Last summer the Football Coach was teaching summer school. Health and Geography, to be exact. Total disaster!
This is why one-fifth of four-year college entrants and one-half of those entering community college need remedial education, at a cost of $3 billion each year.
If the OP is annoyed - he has a right to be. It seems to me that he is interested in learning, but unable to do so, because the teacher is not quilified…
Many parents (and teachers) say that they want their children and students to think for themselves, to speak up… until they do.
If a student’s personal reflection has led to a decision at odds with the teacher, this kid may be referred to as “disrespectful”.
I don’t think OP’s joke was disrespectful. I think the teacher suspects how bad of a teacher he is…unfortunately, the OP is not going to win in this situation. Complaining is going to make it worse…

15

@JustOneDad @suzy100 What did the OP say that was disrespectful at all? If anything the teacher is way out of line for harassing him/her. I would hate to see how you are as parents.

Disregard what these people are saying. You don’t owe anyone an apology for joking around. I hate when people act like just because someone is in a position of authority they somehow have a pass to treat people badly and you have to accept everything they say without question.

16

That is assuming facts that are not in evidence. Nobody said that the math teacher was not trained to teach orchestra.

17

As skieurope said, we have no idea what the math teachers music credentials are. I would think it possible that he would need less credentials for an after school EC that he is doing as a favor. I suppose they could have just eliminated that EC for the school year instead. Maybe he dual majored or minored in music? Maybe he plays percussion in a band?

18

When that person is in charge of your grade for two classes, you kinda do.

19

@bodangles - you have a point, of course, but in this case it’s not only the authority of position that the teacher has in this case. It’s also a reasonable case of being partly right, even if we take the OP’s story at total face value.

@Fuffy24 - The teacher was not obviously unreasonable (in which case it might still be advisable to not rebel, if you either need something from the teacher like a grade or recommendation, or if you believe in showing respect to authority as a moral position, or if any number of other considerations) - but in this case, I don’t think we even have to go that far!

As for @Lanaana earlier, “Thinking for oneself” does not mean saying anything that pops into a teenaged head. I say this as someone with great affection for teenagers.

20

From what I know about public schools in the US, It would be a miracle if this Math teacher is actually qualified to teach Math, much less to teach Band or Orchestra…http://www.startribune.com/local/119537854.html
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-met-out-of-field-teachers-20140806-story.html#page=1