[REQUEST] Please critique my practice essay!

[moltenicee]

<p>Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?</p>

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Heroes are the mavericks of society; they do not fear criticism, nor do they back down in the face of adversity. As “lone wolves,” true heroes stray from the pack and are not afraid to voice their opinion. When the rest of us are swallowed by mob mentality, heroes rise above the crowd. In literature and current events, we find characters that epitomize this definition of a hero.

John Proctor, a resolute protagonist in Arthur Miller’s play, The Crucible, spoke out against the unjust witchcraft trials in Salem. At the conclusion of the play, after realizing that all the other townsfolk would remain holed up in their shells, Proctor bitterly denounces the trials in front of the judge, the reverend, and his wife. His tirade results in his demise by hanging. He is a hero not only because of his brave sacrifice, but also because he spoke up when nobody else did so. For fear of their lives, most of the townsfolk admitted to witchcraft and being solicited by the devil. They formed a “hivemind” whereby each person’s actions remained consistent with that of everyone else. However, Proctor saw that the injustice would continue indefinitely until everybody was dead, or until an intrepid individual rebelled; Proctor chose the latter, and his heroic actions marked the conclusion of the witchcraft trials.

Many North Koreans who have fled to the United States are also heroes. They have granted us valuable information about the corrupt practices of their dictator, and exposed the horrifying inner workings of labor camps sprawled across the country. They know that by voicing their ideas their family and friends living under the oppressive regime will be killed or tortured, but these brave people make the ultimate sacrifice as heroes to expose the wrongdoing and promote change. By spreading the truth and informing the public about the Orwellian practices going on in North Korea, these escapees are heroes that speak for themselves while the North Korean citizens are spoken for by the government.

Indeed, a hero need not be a sword and a shield that braves physical danger. A true hero utilizes the most influential trait that they possess: their voice. A sword can only cut so many times before it dulls; a shield can only take so many battering until it crumples. Yet, a voice can be heard just once before it propagates throughout the entire world and touches the hearts of other would-be heroes, unlocking their voices and galvanizing a global movement.

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<p>All feedback is greatly appreciated! A rough numerical score (0-6, 2-12) would help as well.</p>

[Gustavo71]

<p>Excellent vocabulary, great introduction and conclusion, reliable current events and printed sources. </p>

<p>From a scale of 0-6, I give this essay a six. </p>

<p>Love the little anecdote of the swords at the end by the way.</p>

[moltenicee]

<p>Bump, does anybody else have any opinions?</p>