Requesting SAT essay evaluation

<p>Can someone give me some feedback on this essay?</p>

<p>We cannot expect that all nations will adopt like systems, for conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
-John F. Kennedy</p>

<p>Should people conform to societal values?</p>

<p>Societal values should definitely not be conformity. I totally agree with what John F. Kennedy stated, “…for conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” In my mind, to act individually, whether as a country or as a person, and not to be influenced by others, should be the most important value in society. And what a healthy society needs.</p>

<p>I have encountered the situation of people’s conformity many times in my life. A couple of weeks ago my Math’s teacher asked a question regarding a mathematical formula. One of the students
whispered the answer to the formula, which was false, and all the class answered with his response. I was unaffected and answered correctly. What I gathered was that we can be influenced by anyone when that person claims to know the answer instead of expressing our opinion when we feel the answer is wrong. In other words, to conform to a whole instead of standing up for what we believe is right.</p>

<p>Recently there was an experiment that took place in Sweden and showed how bad conformity is for the public. A psychiatrist, who developed this experiment, put two ropes on the ground. Rope A was visibly lengthier than Rope B. Ten people took part in this test. Nine of them answered, when asked which rope was longer, that Rope B was, since they had been already told by the psychiatrist to pick this one. This was, of course, the wrong answer. The tenth person, upon hearing their answers was quite troubled with the others’ answers as Rope B was visibly shorter. But he answered as the others had answered, probably not trusting his own judgment but those of the majority.</p>

<p>What I wholly support is that we should follow our own views, our convictions and our notions. In my view, a healthy society is the society that encourages citizens to think individually, to expand their opinions and base their notions on facts, not what others voice.</p>

<p>“Societal values should definitely not be conformity.”</p>

<p>Ok the question was “Should people conform to societal values” NOT “should society value conformity”.</p>

<p>For instance- suppose the larger society has decided that all children should be vaccinated or all children must attend pre-school. You disagree but should you conform?</p>

<p>Beyond that, your examples need to prove to the grader <em>why</em> you are right. The people were wrong about the ropes- so what, why does it matter? The math example is a little better but you really need to demonstrate why your position is important. Maybe cite the space shuttle Challenger explosion where engineers thought something was wrong but didnt want to break consensus.</p>