Requirements for Serious Boyfriend for Daughter

Parent Cafe
1

I’m writing these down for fun because, now that she’s leaving her 75% female high school (arts magnet), there is an actual chance my daughter might acquire a non-serious or serious boyfriend. I’ve never done anything like this list before, so I’ll see what my unconscious expectations are here.

  1. Must be at least 5’10 (she is 5’9 and doesn’t want to date shorter)
  2. Must not play videogames more than a couple times a month (I know this one is a huge ask)
  3. Must not have blond hair (funny, since I have blond hair–but my spouse doesn’t!)
  4. Must have some interest in the arts
  5. Must not be a football nut (enjoying football is permissible)
  6. Must not be a fanatic of any kind (political, religious, musical, fitness)
  7. Must love dogs.
  8. If majoring in STEM or business, must also like the humanities.
  9. Must not be an entrepreneur
  10. Must not be a couch potato (I dated one of these–horrible experience)

Does anyone else have something I should add? Wouldn’t want to leave anything out!

2 Likes
2

What will be very interesting is seeing which expectation(s) get subverted or ignored. :wink: :smiling_face:

15 Likes
3

I can picture some less than desirable people that fit these parameters.

Smoking is fine?

5 Likes
4

Wait. Who is doing the dating here? :thinking:

I’m guessing this is somewhat in jest but I can’t even fathom specific expectations beyond like treating my daughter with love and respect and being a generally good human .

So, no notes from me!

26 Likes
5

OP- share this list with any of your friends who have young grandchildren. They will HOWL with laughter!

Item #1- Must believe in science and modern medicine.
Item #2- Must believe in evidence-based decision-making
Item #3- Preference for someone who doesn’t think that passports, social security numbers, seat belt/car seat laws and credit cards are a government conspiracy to take away our guns and diminish the Bill of Rights.

I know people whose daughters are married to folks who fall into one of the above categories. It was weird and “left unsaid” before the first baby was born. But once it’s YOUR grandchild who isn’t getting a measles shot, or YOUR grandchild who is only allowed raw foods because cooking destroys the nutrients, or YOUR grandchild who sits unrestrained in a car because seat belt laws are unconstitutional… oy vey.

20 Likes
6

Finance, Trust Fund, 6’5 Blue Eyes. IYKYK :wink:

18 Likes
7

Great point! No smoking—no obvious endorsement of the daily weed lifestyle!

1 Like
8

It’s totally in jest—I can make a list because she’s going away beyond my reach. I showed it to her and she laughed ( because she would like all those traits too!). But I will compromise. He can be 5’7. :smile:

4 Likes
9

For D,

  1. He must be able to understand and suitably respond to her wry jokes;
  2. He must be a good & kind person (all of her friends are);
  3. He must be a non-smoker, non-vaper of everything as she is VERY sensitive to scents;
  4. He must be pretty self-sufficient as she likes some time alone and with other friends;
  5. He must get along with family and friends; and
  6. He must be supportive of her chronic health issues, which are very long-standing.

The rest is fairly flexible, I think.

5 Likes
10

Even if this is in jest, I’m with @abasket. I thought it interesting, though, that our son’s main criteria was kindness, she must be kind. He first described our new DIL as the kindest, most generous person he’s ever met.

Nothing more to add.

23 Likes
11

My daughter all dated several guys in high school, I liked some a lot, others not as much. One of my daughters seemed to base a lot in good hair (guys weren’t that bright but they were pretty), one who’s ex boyfriend will most likely not have another girlfriend (I think my daughter helped him sort things out). I think it’s important to date some frogs to figure out what is a dealbreaker. One manages to pick very nice guys who love her just a little more than she loves them (including her current boyfriend of 4 1/2 years, he might be the one).

3 Likes
12

Isnt afraid to dance.
Open to trying new foods.
Knows how to cook and clean.
Is nice to strangers and waiters.

8 Likes
13

This was my mane criteria. :wink:

15 Likes
14

Having had a daughter who dated a lot and is now happily married, all I can say is good luck if you have a list of requirements because the other party’s mother probably has a long list too. :grinning:

14 Likes
15

I get along fine with my MIL now, but her requirement for the first nine years of my marriage (and for the other two serious girlfriends before me) was, “must not be involved with my son!” :grin: :cold_face:

8 Likes
16

Good!

3 Likes
17

With the exception of 2 (but it could probably be worked on), my son meets all your criteria, but, already has a long term girlfriend. :grin: :rofl: :sweat_smile:

1 Like
18

Give it up for Short Kings.

3 Likes
19

One can dream, right?

  1. No smoking, drugs of any kind, excessive drinking, no guns enthusiasts and no piercings or tattoos

  2. Must be book and street smart and preferably elite college graduate like she is

  3. Must be carrying and loving and no cheaters

  4. Dark hair , athletic build and over 6 ft preferred

  5. Preferably comes from close-knit family

  6. No fanaticism of any kind including political

1 Like
20

Wouldn’t maintaining an athletic build require what in today’s American society would be seen as fanaticism regarding eating and exercise habits?

3 Likes