<p>"Correct me if I’m wrong but I thought the survey was of kids two years out of college.</p>
<p>I don’t know any kids two years out of college with those kinds of assets."</p>
<p>You’re right. </p>
<p>I wonder if then the point is what one’s goals are.</p>
<p>Perhaps the point is that having a goal like, “My goal is to make $250 k a year and to be a regular guest on Oprah,” would result in less happiness than, “My goal is to be able to support myself, have good health, and a group of supportive, close friends while participating in work and social activities that I enjoy.”</p>
<p>One of my friends who recently turned 30 happily posted today on Facebook that she turned down some extra freelance work today. She was able to turn the work down because she lives within her means, and sees living a fulfilled life – not making as much money as she can – as her goal.</p>
<p>I may be wrong, but I’m assuming that by “wealth”, the researchers were referring to income, but that distinction may have been lost when the journalist translated their research for the general public.</p>
<p>Why does it have to be an either/or situation? It’s not as though making friends and having good family relationships are not possible if you are earning a good income. As I always told my kids when they were little, to make a friend you have to be a friend. It takes effort to be a good friend, even if you do have things in common. Our closest circle of friends, probably 20 couples, have known each other since our kids were in nursery school. We socialize often, and some/all of the women get together for different types of activities on a weekly basis. The men, less often, other than in golf season, but on occasions when the families or couples get together for an event, they enjoy seeing each other as much as they women do. All are financially successful, and are very thankful for that. </p>
<p>As to which is more desirable or important? I’m not sure why you’d have to even choose. Under what circumstances would it be necessary to say, oh, okay, I have to either give up my longterm friends or my financial situation, which should it be. It’s kind of a silly argument, in my opinion.</p>
<p>“Under what circumstances would it be necessary to say, oh, okay, I have to either give up my longterm friends or my financial situation, which should it be. It’s kind of a silly argument, in my opinion.”</p>
<p>It can be difficult to maintain longterm friendships when one has a job that requires long hours and lots of travel. It also can be hard to maintain close friendships when, for instance, one has young children, a job and a spouse, and one’s friends are childfree and single.</p>
<p>It also can be hard to maintain or develop friendships if friends and potential friends are socializing in couples groups, but you or your spouse doesn’t like or get along with the spouses. </p>
<p>For at least some people, developing close friendships takes lots of one-on-one time. Even when I like my friend’s romantic partners, there are things that I would discuss with my friends, but wouldn’t talk about with their partners.</p>
<p>It does take more work to maintain friendships when we and our friends/family end up out-of-synch in terms of “life stages,” but with some understanding and effort it can be and in fact is done all the time. It’s easiest if everything falls into place but sometimes it’s most interesting when we have friends we see and connect with rarely but the profond fondness remains as intense as always. </p>
<p>It’s nice to have a happy balance–sufficient financial security and some true, loyal satisfying friends/family. Those of us with this combo are fortunate and wealthy indeed!</p>
<p>It is such a tough time. My husband, the sole wage-earner, lost his job. This is his last week of income. We are both frantically searching for new positions. Though we try to keep it to a minimum, there is palpable stress and anxiety in our household. We don’t know how far we will fall before we reach the bottom.</p>
<p>Friends have never been more important. Sadly, many are now avoiding us as if we are tainted and our plight may be contagious. It’s really hurtful and only adds to the pain. </p>
<p>Our marriage was never strong or particularly close. This stress is further taxing it but we have to work together to keep our family afloat. I think it will either make or break us.</p>
<p>Yesterday my creative, comical daughter said something so funny I burst out laughing. It had been so long since I laughed it sounded strange and felt foreign. </p>
<p>So wealth alone doesn’t bring happiness, but a certain level of financial security sure does make life easier.</p>
<p>I took some years off to be with my children when they were younger. Our income was cut back quite a bit. I had a lot more time, but had a lot less to spend. My relationship with my husband was more stressful then. I would try to watch how we spend, in turn I would nag if I thought he was wasting money (he wasn’t, but just not the way I would spend). Since I went back to work, I have a lot less time, but it’s a lot less stressful, and we are happier. </p>
<p>Money stress effects people differently. I am one that gets very uptight when we couldn’t do something because of money. I have also read most couple fight over finance - most of the time is lack of it.</p>
<p>I like people and most people find me enjoyable to have around, but I have never derived great strength from friends. I love seeing my friends (not all the time), but do not miss them when I don’t seem them. When in time of need, it’s my husband and my siblings I seek help from.</p>
<p>Much of my marriage, I have been unemployed or underemployed. We have always been used to living frugally and on one income. I have also heard/read that many marital & relationship stresses are related to finances and am sorry for all those currently experiencing this strife. It does challenge the relationship, especially when it is sudden and unexpected but some folks are able to grow closer in spite of the challenges. I hope this happens for all.</p>
<p>As long as you have enough money for financial security, I’ve read that beyond that it is experiences and friendships that matter. When you are scrambling for financial security, it’s another matter entirely.</p>
<p>It must be very hurtful when you feel abandonned by those whom you counted a friends because your family is having financial challenges. I hope things improve soon! My family & friends have always been here for me & my family, especially in though times.</p>