I think it would be uncomfortable for me if someone I am eating with sends food back because of wrong food temperature. It is generally a tense situation when food needs to be sent back. It kind of take away from the pleasure of dining out.
The thing that gets me about OP’s incident (and my own, for that matter) is the server not paying any attention while the problem was being “fixed.”
I give folks second chances when the screw up is unintentional, and the reataurant apologizes. We were celebrating 3 birthdays in our family, and I made reservations at a nice seafood restaurant where we always have celebratory dinners. When we arrived, we were told that it would take a few minutes past the reservation time to get seated. No big deal, really. When a “few minutes” turned into an hour, it was clear there was something wrong going on. Someone made an error entering their schedule into opentable, and they booked 2X diners as they could! I started to search for other options… Busy summer weekday, nothing was available, so we stuck around. The manager saw the gift bags and the flowers; it was clear that we were not making things up about celebrating birthdays, but there was nothing he could do - every table was taken. He apologized profusely, offered us a bottle of wine, and when it was time to leave, our entire check was comped, not just the bubbles ( it was NOT a small amount - $300 or so!) We left a normal 20% tip for the server - as soon as we were seated, the service was superb. Since then, we ate at that place several times.
Sorry @preppedparent, can’t agree with you at all on this.
This isn’t a bad restaurant. They comped the meal and apologized. I would go back and not hold this incident against them at all.
We’ve had two bad experiences in restaurants I can remember.
- I put a fork into my salad, pulled up a piece of lettuce and there was a nice alive roach on its back wiggling its legs at me. I stood up and shrieked. The manager came right over. It's what he said that caused us to never return. He looked at it, and said, "I'm not surprised." Ew! Ew ew ew!!
- We ordered a pizza at a place you order at the counter then sit down. This was a true Italian place with the owner, "Don Michele" right off the boat in 1965 and still wearing his Italian slippers. The whole place is decorated with pictures of himself (every spare inch of wall space) and you just know the mafia are in there seated next to you. We wait. We wait. We wait. DH goes up to the counter and asks where our pizza is. The cook (barely speaking English) looks in all the ovens, obviously not finding it, then tells us "It'll be out in just a moment!"
We wait. We wait and wait and wait. DH goes up again. Pizza finally arrives and we dig in. It’s so delicious. It feels like we waited 2 hours, and we probably did, and it’s even more delicious for it. Meanwhile Don Michele is circulating, pouring wine for the mafia, all cheerful, then he gets to our table, wine in hand, and we think we’re getting wine, and we think this is awsome, but then he yells at us and scolds us! Thick accent, “Why you a-complaain about my pizza!?!!!” Itza gooda pizza!" Then he rambles off what sounds like a tirade of Italian swear words and finishes with an English “So there!!” He waves his bottle of wine threateningly and we notice the entire restaurant is silent and staring at us. I imagine I hear a gun cocking under a nearby table or maybe I did. He finally moves on as we sink down in the chairs. DH and I look at each other and simultaneously run for the door. We ran all the way home (2 blocks away). We never stepped foot in there again. And no, we didn’t leave a tip.
It was the best pizza ever though…he grew his basil, tomatoes, and garlic out in barrels in the parking lot.
I absolutely despise mushrooms. When I order a meal that includes them, like a vegetable omelet, I tell the server that I am allergic and will have a very bad reaction if they wind up in my food. It works like a charm and, if it doesn’t, I send the whole thing back. If they can’t guarantee that there will be no mushrooms, as in it’s a mix of something, I just order something different. I do the same thing with guacamole. If I can’t be assured that no guacamole will be on my plate, I order a meal that doesn’t include it.
Once, we had a situation where we sent something back and were waiting. H got up and went to the manager. We had our replacement order right away.
I was in the restaurant business for years, starting as a short order cook at 14 years old and ending my “service career” as a restaurant manager once my first child was born. You have a right to receive exactly what you order, the way you order it. You also have the right to be waited on professionally and timely. If either of those do not happen, you should speak to a manager. In the defense of waitstaff, restaurant management (and especially owners) kowtow around cooks and chefs. They are allowed to abuse waitstaff in many venues. Please don’t short the tip because of food issues. If the waiter isn’t doing their job, that’s one thing, but many times they are doing everything they can to get you what you asked for, sometimes risking their own jobs (yes, I know many of you think I’m exaggerating and no, its not all restaurants, but its many of them).
The biggies for me are getting overcooked beef, it always goes back and I rarely revisit a steakhouse that serves me a steak cooked improperly. Another biggie is a waiter/ress that won’t make eye contact when its perfectly obvious I’m trying to get your attention. Its also improper for a bus person to remove dishes one by one as each person finishes up.
Immediate welcome and a drink within five minutes is a restaurant rule. Two minutes, two bites is a restaurant rule. This is when you can send your food back, not 10 minutes, 10 bites later lol. These are easy to do. Returning food and having a chef re-do something he/she insists was perfect the first time, not so much.
Here’s a tip that I can’t get enough friends to do: when your steak/chicken/fish lands, cut it, make sure its cooked properly. Check that your potatoe and veg is hot, take a look at your plate and make sure its what you requested so if you get good waitstaff and they come back in two minutes, you know what you need or want to make it a pleasurable event.
As for OP, the cheese was a mistake. The wait however is unacceptable. I’m glad they took care of the check and I’m especially glad you tipped properly regardless because I’d bet that check that the waitress was doing everything she could do to get you the eggs the right way. I have seen soooo many waitresses walk out the door in tears because of cooks, its despicable.
Our family had a situation once that was in retrospect pretty outrageous although we all laugh about it. Several years ago we were en route to a condominium rental in NH during the summer. So we need to stop and go grocery shopping when we get off the highway and have a usual routine as we have done this many times. Older d is hungry and suggests we get pizza at a place we used to frequent before grocery shopping. It is lunchtime but the place is not crowded. We order a pizza with broccoli as a topping. We wait, we wait , other tables who came in after us are served and nothing. Finally the waitress came back and told us that they did not have any broccoli so they sent someone to the store to buy some and was expected back soon. The supermarket is about 10-15 minute drive, While I suppose I could appreciate that gesture, they could have told us, out of broccoli, what about substituting peppers or mushrooms… but when they finally showed up clearly they had no idea what broccoli was and so they bought frozen broccoli which they shredded up like parsley. By that point we managed a slice and left hysterically laughing at the whole experience. Either No tip or a minimal tip was left. We had been there for at least 2 hours if not longer.
Several weeks ago DH and I met a friend for dinner at a popular seafood restaurant on a Saturday night. I was surprised when he called on Thursday to tell us that he made a 7:30 reservation as this place books up very quickly and the clientele usually are early diners and I know that it is easier to get 8/8:30 reservations there. So DH and I arrive for 7:30 and no they do not have a table for us and our friend arrives, we are asked to wait at the bar while they can see how they can accomodate us, which they were able to do within about 30 minutes but at a table for 5 which is not the best when you are a party of 3 but it worked. The hostess came back to tell us that the reservation had been incorrectly entered for the following Saturday night which made sense because we wouldn’t have been able to reserve for 7:30 on Thursday for that Saturday. Not that I was expecting anything, but it would have been a nice gesture to either comp our drinks or offer us a complimentary after dinner drink or something like that but I could see no communication between hostess and server. While I wouldn’t call us regulars at this restaurant, we are there at least a few times a year.
Ha ha you guys, Apparently we are not the only ones Don Michele yelled at. http://blastmagazine.com/2010/05/14/don-michele-caruso-80-legendary-melrose-pizza-shop-owner-dies/
I waitressed my way through college at a local country club. I learned a great deal.
Sometimes, every once in awhile, there is that one table that just doesn’t fit in with the flow of your station of tables.
That table ends up with the worst service . The timing is always just off no matter what you do. Off for the waitress, off for the chef, off for the patrons. I can sense it as a customer if it’s our table.
Sending food back to the kitchen is always a dicey situation. Whose fault was it, how busy is the waitress, how temperamental is the chef, how irritating are the customers etc. all play into the resolution.
I have seen a chef throw a steak on the floor, stomp on it, throw it back on the grill and then throw it on the plate and then silently dare the waitress not to serve it. I have seen bartenders spit in drinks when customers complain once again daring the waitress not to serve it.
Glad things worked out mom2 by not having to pay.
I just don’t send anything back, ever.
@bookmama22 ha ha! Your first story reminded me of one recent dining experience-- this time Chinese at one of those places where they have, like, 4 tables in the restaurant and their business is mostly delivery. After ordering, DH and I decided to take a neighborhood walk, and turn up the street that leads behind the restaurant. We see the guy who took our order walk out the back door with a baby. He gets into a minivan with the baby. We walk around the block. We see another Chinese restaurant and we see our guy and his baby ordering something. We continue walking. We get back to our Chinese restaurant, and the guy pulls up and gets out with his baby and a bag. “Don’t worry. It’s ready,” he says. He takes his bag and his baby and we see him go behind the counter and take the stuff out of the bag and put it in another bag and then he hands it to us. Then I notice the lady in the far back is playing with the baby on her hip as she’s stirring something. Apparently they ran out of something and decided to go shopping for it already made at the other Chinese restaurant! And their baby is already learning the family business. It was a little bit disconcerting, but also kind of adorable, and we ate there many times again.
I never ever send food back. there are restaurants I will never go back to. I always say please and thank you tip 20% no special requests.( I am the perfect customer) I even stack my dishes for them before they clean. but I never complain or return food. sax is 100% on target.
A side note… Please do not stack dishes in an upscale restaurant. Your server might get in trouble with the sups! Because it is unprofessional for them to stack plates. Period. 
Ever seen them nesting plates on their arm when they take them away - never stacked one on top of the other?
I’m not sure if it’s the same in all parts of the country, but a glass of wine is now a minimum of $15 and often higher for something that has any type of name recognition or reputation. On numerous recent occasions the wine by the glass was so undrinkable that I have wanted to send it back. I am always kind of sheepish about doing so, but last week-end I did just that. The server really did not seem to think twice about it.
I can always substitute a Grey Goose and grapefruit juice for the same price and be happy. Think I am going to stop ordering wine by the glass in a restaurant – never really works out for me anymore. It’s a nice option to have when you don’t want to drink all that much, but I have concluded most of what restaurants serve by the glass is very cheap wine – it’s a profit booster for them.
I always ask for a taste - it does not cost them much because the house wines are already open. If they refuse, I just do not order any.
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and my own, for that matter) is the server not paying any attention while the problem was being “fixed.”
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that is a big part of the problem. The procedure should be:
- the remake is given top priority in the kitchen. In this case, the remake should be finished in about 3-5 minutes, top…
2). The server should be checking on it, and coming back to the table…we didn’t see her for 20 minutes…not until AFTER we asked to speak to a manager. I liked the idea of asking if the person would like a muffin (or something) while waiting.
I’m in the hospitality business, so I’m all about customer happiness. I want to know if something is amiss!
In the restaurant business (and this was a nicer restaurant, not some IHOP type of joint), people come to eat together and have nice conversation. When someone at the table doesn’t have food, it casts a pall over the experience. Instead of having enjoyable conversation, we kept glancing to see if the food was coming, and then we kept glancing to FIND the server. What should have been a 5 minute hiccup, turned into a 20 minute pain in the tush.
I agree that if people don’t appropriately complain (no yelling or anything awful like that), then the management has no idea why people aren’t coming back.
The wine thing is a tough one. Personally, I don’t think you should order a glass of wine and return it unless it has turned, like vinegar bad. If you are picky about wines, probably best not to order something unless you are familiar with what you are ordering and know you will like it. At a nicer restaurant, if the waitstaff isn’t familiar with the wines and their style, there will usually be a sommelier or beverage manager who is that one can ask for guidance. Personally, if I ordered some entree that was cooked fine but had an ingredient I didn’t care for, I don’t feel like I could send it back so to me wine is no different. I wouldn’t order sea urchin, for example, and say, yuck, I hate sea urchin and I want a refund. Just my opinion.
Sorry this happened to you. Sounds like they tried to make it right by comping the meal. My sister has a friend that seems to complain about something or other every time they go out. She is embarrassed by it and has backed off with going out as much with this friend. This woman seems to make an art out of complaining and getting something out of it. I have rarely sent anything back in all the years of eating out. If I ever would, it would be because it was that serious. There is a fine line with it, in terms of complaining. Because the flip side is you can have people that will complain about anything and everything. And that can also cast a pall over a dining experience for other people. That does not sound like what happened here but it does happen.
I don’t see anything wrong with sending anything back if it isn’t cooked properly or is lukewarm when it should be hit. I’m not spending a lot of money on dinner for food which should be hot but isn’t (or a steak ordered rare but comes well done.) That’s just stupid, imo.
The other people at my table can enjoy their meal while I sip whatever cocktail I’m drinking.
Most nice restaurants pour a bit of the wine into your glass for you to taste first if it’s a bottle for the table. I have also been to very nice restaurants that do the same at the bar even if by the glass.
I hate when stuff like that happens. I also don’t like when they serve a few dishes and not the whole table, it’s almost the norm if the 4 in my family are out and everyone gets served but me.
I know anytime a waiter doesn’t write down a special request it isn’t going to happen. At a more mainstream place, not a fancy restaurant.
The comped meal was nice, but what you wanted was for everyone to be served at the same time.
I’m a camel, I drink a lot of water, at certain places I know to order two drinks because the waitresses never show their faces after taking the order.
@Sax I am so glad I fed that steak to the diner cats! I actually never intended to eat it but also didn’t want to eat the incorrect meal she brought first. A friend used to tell me about how he used to spit in food or do other things to customers he didn’t like.