<p>I would like to hear from parents as well as students , I am a law student , 20 years of age living in hostel .
I would like to open a discussion on till what limit should there be a restriction on me . I stay in a hostel with decent restrictions but whenever I come home i feel my parents to be over possessive and not understanding my situation .
Broadly telling about my situation at home , I have never had a big fight with my parents but now I have started to feel that they have been imposing more restrictions than required .
I am expected to stay at home at noon time and only go out when its evening and be back by 8-8:30 as it gets dark , they expect me to ask for permission whenever I want to go out for a night stay and inform what am I going to do all night what time should they expect me to sleep and tell them what time should they expect me back at home etc . So they generally don’t know where am I and what I am doing etc.
I am just like other college children and like to party , go out boozing , nightouts and other stuff that college students do .
I dont have any problem in telling them the truth where am I and what time to expect me back , whether to expect me back home for the night or not and other stuff that generally happens in college life .
All of my close friends are enjoying the typical college life and have a really good relations with their parents as well and I always wonder when is this going to happen to me or if it will ever or not .
According to my parents every place except my house and my hostel is unsafe , they know my hostel is in gated campus so they think I am safe there .
Please suggest me what should I do and what am I expecting is it wrong in any way . </p>
<p>It doesn’t sound unreasonable that you would be expected to follow your parents’ rules when you are home from school. “They expect me to ask for permission whenever I want to go out for a night stay…” Why don’t you just save the staying out all night for when you are staying at your school? Being home at 8:30 at night does seem restrictive.</p>
<p>I am in such a college where I am expected to take outpass while leaving my college campus and outpasses are given by our parents permission , and you wont believe they check our luggage and frisk us before getting in campus so its actually near to impossible to sneak in booze . </p>
<p>OP, are your parents very religious? Immigrants or first-generation Americans? Different situations call for different kinds of advice.</p>
<p>No , they are not American , I live in India and they are also Indians .
They aint that much religious …</p>
<p>If other students in your culture have a different situation, perhaps you could arrange to have dinner with another student’s family (or go to an outing, etc.) from time to time so that your parents have exposure to how other parents treat their child. It may be that you are still much younger in their minds than you really are, and they simply need a gentle reminder that you are older now that you are 20.</p>
<p>Maybe you could discuss a new set of rules from your reality- some way to let them know you are safe that does not feel so restrictive to you. It sounds as though they may be reasonable parents; simply concerned for your safety. Redefine the ground rules to meet their needs as well as yours.</p>
<p>Sorry, but it’s common courtesy to let people know where you will be and when you will be coming and going. Our kids do that when they are visiting us. My husband and I do that with each other. </p>
<p>So you live in India? And you’re attending school in India? And your parents live in India? And the behavior and restrictions you are asking about all take place in India?</p>
<p>Yes Mr.Wasatch Writer </p>
<p>You can try talking to them and explaining the situation and the fact that all your friends are allowed to do what you are not but you should not be surprised if they don’t change their minds. Only when you are not living under their roof and not reliant on their funds will you be really entitled to total freedom; that is the same even in the most liberal of cultures. I tell my husband what time I am going out and where and when I expect to be back; it’s a courtesy.</p>
<p>Are you a female?</p>
<p>No I am a male .
And “just for this” I have aforementioned that I have no problem in letting them know where am I and I know when I would be independant these restrictions would not be there but by then my college life would be over . I want to enjoy my college life . </p>
<p>I think most of the parents on CC do not live in India. So our perspective is going to be different than your parents.
All I can suggest is that you talk to them and tell them what you have told us.</p>
<p>Right. We are not good advisors as we are not Indian parents living in the Indian culture. We don’t know what is normal there. But here, I do expect my college age kids to let me know where they are and when they will return as a matter of common courtesy. Heck, I’m a parent in my 50’s and I still tell someone -even if only one of my kids is home - where I am going and when I will be back. If anything happens, they need to know how to trace my whereabouts to find me. That’s just a kindness families extend to each other. </p>
<p>Agree with above posters. Our input is not really gong to be relevant as your cultural norms may not be the same as ours. When my 28 year old son, whom lives 1200 mile away and owns his own home, comes to visit we do expect him to let us know if he is going to be out or late or stay the night at a friend’s. We do the same when we visit him. My husband and I do the same with each other. It’s just good manners, regardless of age. </p>
<p>As mentioned above , I have no problem in letting my parents know where am I . But the thing is that they expect me to stay home 20 hours a day and once or twice when I have confronted them about it , they just say you have everything here why do you want to go out . They dont understand the whole concept of hanging out with friends . </p>
<p>Yes I live in India , my college is in Indian , and my parents also live in India and Yes I am talking about India </p>