<p>So it seems as if I know many people my age who are retiring this year. I just had my last appointment with my hair-stylist who is my age and I have been seeing for many, many years. She told me my doctor, we both use the same doctor, is about to retire. Also my age. (Ugh, hate change at my age! haha.) I have close friends, of the same age, retiring. I also know old school friends who have already retired.</p>
<p>I am not 65 and have several years to go before I am. I do not qualify for Medicare. My H, a few years younger than me, is still in his 50’s!</p>
<p>H and I have very much lived within our means through the years, paid for all of our 3 kids college education so there are no student loans, we are 100% debt free and have had a generous retirement benefit from the state college we both work for. So we seem to be in good shape as far as retirement savings is concerened.</p>
<p>I guess what I am having a difficult time with is the psychological aspect. When you retire, and I think retirement can be a wonderful time of life, it is, for the majority, the last stage of life. What I am having trouble with is, what is there to plan for or look forward to other than traveling, volunteer work and or even a part -time job? It is such a different mind frame than all the years since you were born. You were always thinking of and planning for the future. I am not yet ready to step into the next step which is essentially the last step. </p>
<p>And I am not trying to be maudlin or saying retirement is death. I am just trying to deal with it and would like your perspective.</p>
<p>H and I just finished reading the books: ‘How to retire happy, wild and free’ and ‘65 things to do when you retire’ and really liked them. They deal with the psychological component. It looks like ongoing communication with your partner, flexibility in plans, and a positive attitude are important. (Three of my BFF friends at work retired and I am the last one. 2 moved or are moving away). H and I are currently making health and exercise and food our main issues as without these nothing else is going to work well. We are training for a half marathon and it is grueling and a slow process. I hope I make it. We need to work on the social part but I figure if someone moves to a new location in retirement like my old friends did- they also have to work on new friends. So, here we go. I am almost 60 and H older. We are not retired yet but soon.</p>
<p>If you find your work rewarding and have a secure and steady job, then there is really no need to retire. The other people you mention may not have the same attitude toward their work … They may secretly be dreading every day, or they may have physical problems that make it difficult to continue, or they may have been laid off in the guise of retirement. Or they may just be tired. Or, on a positive note, they may have always wanted to write mystery novels or to make films or to try to flesh out their idea for an invention and perhaps they are at a place where they can undertake a risky venture with no guarantee of financial success. Who knows. My point is that whatever is motivating their choices really has nothing to do with your own evaluation of your work/life balance.</p>
<p>I figure I have a good 20 years in retirement before the bad stuff starts to catch up with me. I’m viewing those 20 years as a well-deserved time when I get to do what I want. At this point in my life, I’m certainly more mature – emotionally – than ever before, so I’m going to do what I want to do, and the hell with anyone else. </p>
<p>My dad will be 78 soon and is still working halftime as an engineering professor at UT-Austin. He is also the chair of the Men’s Athletic Council for UT (he got to go to the White House with the football team after they won the national championship while Bush was president). He still travels all over the world, lecturing about polymer concrete (he was one of the early researchers, back in the '60s). He teaches in the fall and takes the spring semester “off” (ha, but not really). I should add that he was diagnosed with CML, a type of leukemia, about a year ago. But he keeps going! I will worry about him when he finally retires.</p>
<p>I’m 55 and my husband is 59. He is a law enforcement employee and is a few years past “vested” in his retirement options but has hung on working because we still have a high schooler to put through college. Most of his coworkers he was close to over the past 3 decades have retired already. H may call it quits in July 2015. It will be smart for me to keep working until around 62 when I will be fully vested in my state retirement plan - and that’s pretty much ok with me - I like working and don’t feel the pull of retirement (though time off sounds nice here and there!!)</p>
<p>OP, I like you, HATE the stigma - or the stigma I have created in my mind - about retirement. Here’s what I have decided - just as there are “types” of people socially, in neighborhoods, at work, etc., there are “types” of retirement people.
this is blunt but…people who gleefully retire the moment they can and plan on spending their days sitting on a recliner watching tv and watching the world go by out the window.
people who “retire” but find a part time job so “partly retired.”
people forced to retire due to job change, health, etc.
people who retire with a plan for full days afterwards.
people who retire with no plans and literally wake up saying “now what?”
There are many more scenarios. Some people live more than one of these. </p>
<p>I’ll fully admit I have my own stigma about retirement and being “old”. I don’t want anything to do with any of it! I try to live my life without any things in place that are in this ball park of being “old”. I work, enjoy current pop/alternative music, dress current and appropriate but not “old”, exercise regularly, volunteer, start new challenges and new interests even now while working,etc. It’s what I need to do and believe in. I do worry that my H does not have these same motivations - and that will be a tough spot for us when he retires first - I will NOT be able to handle him spending his day on the recliner!!! </p>
<p>The other thing getting in the way of any of my family (sibs) retiring: my 81 year old mom STILL works part-time at her local YMCA and refuses to stop working - how can we retire before her!!! </p>
<p>Summary: create a new word for retirement that is NOT retirement. Don’t get stuck on the term, but jump into the plan to rebuilding new routines for you!!!</p>
<p>I have plans to retire in about two years and I’ve decided I want an adventure. Not sure what yet, but I’ve started looking into things…maybe a year teaching on another continent, maybe the Peace Corps. I think I have one more “now for something completely different” left in me. So, yes, planning for the future is important. Hoping the last transition, whatever and whenever, catches me too busy to notice.</p>
<p>My H and I are retired. I have been for a while and he has for a couple of years now. Our lives are busy and active, and we have the time to do whatever we darn well please. We are fortunate, too, that we are in a financial position to do so. We’re in our early 60s and healthy. My H runs 5 miles three times a week, working out in our home gym on the off days, goes to Pilates once a week and trains with his personal trainer once a week. I walk daily and use my elliptical. My H serves on two Boards and I am involved in a theatre company in town as well as assisting kids who will be following the path of one of my Ds into the theatre world.</p>
<p>We are more involved with the community and charitable organizations that we’ve always been involved with, for which they are grateful. Perhaps the happiest of all are our dogs, who love having my H around all day! Even before I retired completely, I ran my practice from home and did so part-time for most of my career because I wanted to be home with, and for, my girls. So, retirement wasn’t the big change for me that it was for my H. He was in a high-powered, competitive profession with very long hours and a lot of responsibility. His typical day was 12 hours long, with many exceeding that. I remember when he first announced his retirement at work and many of his colleagues asked him what he was going to do all day. They thought he’d miss it but the truth is that he hasn’t missed it for a single minute.</p>
<p>The time we’re able to spend with our grandchildren, with our daughters, with friends, with my parents, has all been a blessing. We go south to our home in Hilton Head several times a year, where we have many friends. My H golfs daily and we often take mini-trips from there to explore the area. I honestly can’t think of anything that could make life much better.</p>
<p>In our experience, the friends of ours who have been involved in many things outside of their careers, and who have groups of friends outside the workplace, seem to adjust more easily to retirement than those who have had no hobbies or involvements. Neither my H nor I have ever really been focussed on what age we are so maybe that’s one reason that we looked forward to and are enjoying retirement?</p>
<p>I have noticed since being on CC that one could equate how you might do at retirement with how you handled empty nest - both big changes, both changes related to a big shift in your time “available”. </p>
<p>Another factor of course are finances. I know a couple of people at work who can’t wait to “retire and travel”. They seem to be forgetting that travel = dollars needed. In many cases, retirement = a % reduction in income - so if you didn’t have the $$ to travel before retirement, how are you going to jump in the car multiple times a year and do that AFTER retirement!!!? </p>
<p>Retire if you want to or have to. My take on retirement is the same as that on divorce - if you’d be happier retired or have to, retire. If you’d be happier divorced or have to, divorce.</p>
<p>I’ll agree that if you have had things outside your career that have interested you, that helps a lot. Just like if you have interests outside your marriage/spouse, you do better off when divorced than if your spouse was your life.</p>
<p>I hope to be able to retire in 10 years. I don’t think waiting until 65 or 70 would be a good idea. I know people who were “worked to death” - one had cancer and decided to keep working through a few years of chemo and illness, and had two weeks off before he passed. Another thought that the office would fall to pieces without her, but they survived and she didn’t. It is a good thing to retire healthy and have choices. </p>
<p>Some people go on to a second career when they retire from their first career, if their pension plan allows it. Might this be an option for you?</p>
<p>(I’d always thought about eco-tourism after I retire, or other service/vacation combination opportunities.)</p>
<p>I think because I never thought of working as a stage, or had a fully formed career, I don’t see retirement as a “last” stage. I see it as just different, and more like an opportunity. I probably can’t retire for another few years, but I look forward to do the things <em>I</em> want to–I don’t dislike work, but it gets in the way. So retirement to me means removing an impediment, not moving on.</p>
<p>I’m no help because I am mightily struggling with it all myself.<br>
I’m considering working part time or prn (as needed) as my profession favors the ability to do so. But…there are so many professional and corporate continuing education requirements that I’m so tired of doing. So, it may come down to weighing all that out.</p>
<p>Abasket, I would like to lease out my house for a year and travel around the usa - either pulling my little trailer or “stealth” camping in a van that I modify myself. Travelling this way is not expensive at all, and the lease payments would cover gas, food, etc. Not all travel is expensive!</p>
<p>I don’t want to travel all the time…but I do like the flexibility to be able to travel NOT during peak, expensive school vacations. And I like being able to fly on the cheap days too.</p>
<p>H retired 12/2012 after 45 mostly happy years at his job. I have been working very part time at my nonprofit since the kids graduated from college and didn’t feel the need or urge to chase grants.</p>
<p>We travel for fun and my nonprofit several times a year–2500-5000 mile plane trips. So far, H and I have been very happy and doing what we enjoy. We are NOT bored and eat out as frequently as we like, see friends and family often, and enjoy the significantly reduced stress. </p>
<p>FWIW, H is in his early 70s and I am in my kate 50s. We have the funds to be very comfortable and help our kids as much as we can, with their respective fledgling careers. </p>
<p>I think, as said, retirement could be a great and liberating time. It is just accepting that the next stage is… </p>
<p>HS was exciting and then there was college. College was fun, stressful and exciting and then there was the start of your career. Meeting that special person…etc, etc.</p>
<p>But I do like the idea some of you have said. Doing something like dragonmom or scoutsmom said. I have a H that I know would be really hard to convince to do such things however. That’ a whole other story! And maybe that gas something to do with my retirement concern.</p>
<p>I understand completely what you are trying to say. It’s not retirement itself that has you thoughtful, it’s the idea that typically and usually what is next is physical and mental decline and we all know where that leads. It can almost feel like a panicked time and one needs to learn to be calm and mindful about it. We’ve lived our entire lives planning for the positive future. Right now I’m still in planning for retirement stage. So what do you plan on from the retirement stage? It’s an honest and realistic question and feeling. I think many of us don’t want to think about that, and maybe that’s the answer. </p>
<p>Try not to dwell on it and learn to live in the present. That’s the only thing we can do, and it’s not going to be easy. I don’t have much of an answer since I’ve not BTDT, but I think the OP is trying to find out how one deals emotionally knowing they are in the fall and winter of life.</p>
