My father moved into a CCRC at the age of 75 (he’d been a widower for decades), was in relatively good health, and had a great experience living there. The place he lived offered both apartments and cottages for independent living, and had all levels of care for the future. It’s a non profit, Lutheran based community, and they had lots of activities. He got involved in everything, was woven into the social fabric, and it was life changing for him. I’m so grateful that he had the means to afford the buy in and the monthly fees, as well as take advantage of all they had to offer in terms of his social life. We did get 90% of his buy in back upon his death in 2020.
During the years he lived there I had high praise for the community. He made many friends and I kept in touch with some of them after his passing. I’m only 50, so still a ways away from making those type of decisions for myself. My father passed away Feb 1, 2020, and after seeing what went on at the CCRC due to Covid from March 2020 to summer 2021 with the residents, it really gave me pause about whether a CCRC is in my future.
I know Covid was a special circumstance, but I couldn’t imagine my father living through the lockdown that his CCRC created for months on end - more than a year! The dining room was completely shut down and all meals were delivered to rooms each evening. The quality of the food plummeted. A portion of his monthly fees were designated for food, so if you didn’t eat their food, you were wasting that part of your monthly fee.
The rules surrounding guests in your own independent living space, or traveling to homes of family were strict. If you had any unmasked visits (including meals) with anyone outside the community, you had to isolate in your apartment for 10 days. Granted, this was hard to enforce for people in independent living, but there were cameras at every entrance and in every hallway. Not that there was much you could do anyway in the community, except maybe sit 10 feet away from someone in the common area while you read a book.
Covid was hard for anyone living in a senior community, I’m sure. But those rules would have stressed my father out and certainly driven him to depression due to isolation. My dad wasn’t one who took kindly to being told what to do - so we would have continued our regular Sunday night dinners at our house and just broken the rules. But he would’ve been worried about it.
I heard about these rules and the impact on the residents because I kept in contact with some of my dad’s closest friends after he passed away. He was well known and surely missed by many of them. Over the course of the year + in lockdown mode, they only had one death from Covid, but had three (!!!) suicides. Incredibly sad!!!
I hope all of these communities (as well as colleges) learned important lessons about the side effects of strict lockdowns and the negative impact on long term mental health and socialization. I recognize that it was unprecedented territory, but listening to the experience of my fathers friends really made me think about whether we may choose a CCRC in the future.
