My husband and I downsized to a condo in a 55+ independent living community just before covid. We like living here for many reasons, but both of us will be 77later this year and have started considering communities that offer all levels of care, or at least independent living/assisted living/dementia care. We want to stay in this area (Northern Virginia) and there are many choices. It will probably become a major project for us to choose, and it’s not too early for us.
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I haven’t read many of the responses to this thread, but I did have a conversation with an 80+ YO friend recently about her retirement community. Both she and her sister were discussing how they now own nothing (no real estate) and the retirement communities are obviously expensive, and keep going up. My friend originally had a 2BR unit, but by some stroke of luck to her, she was able to move into a 1BR and save some money. During COVID it was NOT fun to live there. The food gets really old after a while, but you still have to pay for it, even if you don’t eat it. As with any multi-unit dwellings, neighbors can be an issue. My friend has a dog that is very well behaved, EXCEPT when she leaves her alone. Then the dog barks the entire time. When she lived in an end unit it wasn’t so bad, but it’s really hard for her even to go out now, because she doesn’t want to irritate her new neighbors.
She did a fair amount of research before moving to the place she chose, and so did her sister (I assume), but neither sounds particularly happy with the choice many years in.
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That’s unfortunate.
Food is done differently at the places I’ve researched. One place, the most inclusive, has meals included in that you get $600 dining dollars that you can spend anyway you want. You lose them at the end of each month, but if you don’t want the food you can buy bottles of wine! Or invite friends for meals and treat them. Whereas the most recent place we went, there is a “free” breakfast in the price, and then all lunches and dinners are a la carte. You can eat their food or cook your own.
I was told at the most expensive place that it’s much easier to get a one-bedroom unit. Long waiting list for two- and three-bedroom units. Personally, we’d like a two-bedroom unit, too.
Every place we’ve visited have rates go up from 2%-4% a year.
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I remember she can use her “dining dollars” (my term, not hers) in different ways, including inviting people to dinner in the dining room or more causal area (I was her guest once). I think she can pick up some food to go also, and I think she said they will bring food to your unit if you need it.
ETA - I see you used the term “dining dollars” - so I guess it’s “your term” lol
Local to me. The ILs lived in one for several years before passing. They had the $$ and were able to live out their days, but the costs rose every time we turned around.
My mom was in an independent apartment in a CCRC. She ended up in an adult family home after a stint in their rehab as the assisted living units wouldn’t allow anyone with new cognitive issues to move in. Had she gone in prior to rehab/memory issues, it would have been fine. Unfortunately, we had to find a new place.
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Definitely reading this! My DIL’s grandmother was in a Seattle-area Aegis place before the move.
The new Aegis and other fancy looking senior living facilities have been popping up around the Eastside like mushrooms, and I have been wondering if there was some sort of a pyramid scheme or something going on. Thank you for posting that article. An eye opener.
Always always do your due diligence. Check the state complaints page, BBB, read reviews, google news articles, etc…. This is also why I want to be in a place near our D so she can keep eyes on what’s happening.
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Is there something like CC for retirement communities? Like, I don’t even know how to begin researching. I’m thinking a way to essentially do a “match me” for interests / location / cost / needs. Or, separating the crowdsourced ideas, is there a place that just aggregates data and names? Like the equivalent of the College Board website?
Or really, what this all distills down to - how do I begin to research? I’m not ready for this for me (I’m 50, my husband is 58), but my mom is 78. She’s currently fine, but living in the big house I grew up in (big house - 5.5 bathrooms and all the associated other rooms, big yard to maintain, pool that’s a PITA) is obviously getting to be too much. She’s expressed interest in finding a different community, but stalled her research when COVID lockdowns freaked her out. I’d like to get some options and research to her so that she can think about things and get on a list or two somewhere before she gets to a place where it would be hard to move to a new community.
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A Place for Mom actually helped me locate a very nice place for my mother at 89 move to an independent living facility that graduated to assisted living and ultimately into their memory care her last two years. It was not a high end facility but it was very nice, very clean, and young folks (recent grads, maybe in socail work?) manning the facility. This was just before covid hit, she passed in 2018. I thought this was unafordable for most folks but looking at the cost today, I think I need to stay healthy and at home for as long as I can.
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When we were looking for my mom, we did a lot of talking to people we knew with older parents. IMO, word of mouth, especially if you have health care professionals in your circle is really helpful. We also met with a social worker in our community to get her recommendations and then we started touring. If your community has an Office for Aging, they are a great place to start.
There are check lists of what to ask and look for when doing these tours (A Checklist for Choosing the Best CCRC Facility - WTOP News) and one of the big ones for me was “do the residents and staff look happy”. Are people smiling and talking to each other. Do staff know the residents by name? Is it bright and sunny and was music playing at meal time (a big deal for my mom). Also important for her was access to outdoor space (not always a possibility in memory care units but some have nice courtyards).
I had a place picked out but we had a last minute derailment when my H had to unexpectedly switch jobs and we had to move out of state. My dad decided they were going to go to FL full time. He lasted a month with her at home before placing her in the facility my mom had picked out for her own parents.
IMO, the best thing is to do your research before you need it as the best places often have waiting lists. My H’s elderly aunt (in her 90s) had a lovely place picked out for “when she needed it” but she stubbornly refused to go and when she did need it, they didn’t have a room. She wasn’t happy with the facility that did have space for her.
This is a very helpful and easy to understand article that explains the financial aspects of a CCRC.
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Thank you for posting this article - it’s eye opening for sure!
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CMS doesn’t rate CCRs, but they do rate nursing homes, and I believe the skilled care part of CCRs. BTW - the one near me that my older friend lives in is rated 5 stars, but it’s very expensive and has gone up significantly since she’s lived there.
I only skimmed the article - looks useful for future. No hits on search for “Medicaid”. Wondering what happens in cases where resident(s) live a long time and run out of money.
The two places my mom was in was very clear in the contract (although not in any of the marketing materials).
For-profit place- you run out of money, you have a two week grace period to find another spot.
Not-for-profit place- you run out of money, we will schedule a meeting with the staff and the family, but there are zero guarantees that we can work it out.
Both places stated (clearly in the contract) that long term care insurance (if you had) or any third party money (including government funds) was entirely the responsibility of the family to access, maintain compliance, insure eligibility, etc. And the for profit place was a nightmare to get them to code the monthly bills in a way that I needed to get the LT policy to cover their piece of it. However, they were cooperative when I needed to schedule the quarterly assessments (the insurance company sent their RN to evaluate, make sure the DX was appropriate) and made sure that a staff person was present for the evaluation.
Coding is critical! If there’s a LT care policy, you’ll need a breakout of what’s covered and what’s not.
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The place in our town is supposed to have a large endowment. I have not looked into it at all, but I have a friend whose in-laws live there, and that was a big appeal. They supposedly will not kick you out if you run out of money. This is according to my friend according to his in-laws. It is the Type A and a non-profit.
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You can view their 990 online (the tax filing which is a statutory requirement) which will help calibrate what exactly a large endowment looks like!
Viewed on its own it’s modestly helpful. But you can quickly compare things like the CEO’s salary, for example. If similarly sized communities pay their CEO $300K and the one you are looking at pays their CEO $975K there is usually a reason.
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The owners of the adult family home my mom was in had two places. The one she lived in was strictly private pay, no Medicaid, although they loved mom and told us if she ran out of money they’d let her stay. (We kids had already decided amongst ourselves that we’d pick up whatever the delta cost was between Medicaid and full pay, if necessary, to keep her there.) The other house was less expensive and took Medicaid.
She received excellent care in a beautiful home. Her caregivers were like family.
Aegis has no provisions for being on Medicaid. Full pay or you’re out.
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The expensive, local place with the big buy-in allows you to spend down that money and said even if that were gone they don’t kick out anybody. They have some kind of mercy fund for those instances. I didn’t ask the other two places as they were so much less expensive I was feeling pretty confident about being able to always pay.
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