<p>I think there are vast differences in personality that affect people’s choices of how to deal with financial issues and people’s feelings about what they regret.</p>
<p>I have plenty of regrets, but none of them has to do with activities that I chose not to do because I felt they were too expensive. </p>
<p>If I had spent every dime I earned, I wouldn’t die with more or fewer regrets. But I would have lived with a lot of bad feelings about financial insecurity. Every day.</p>
<p>Obviously, many people have very different feelings about these sorts of issues than I do.</p>
<p>An acquaintance of mine was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer last year. Our daughters know each other from school. Based on Facebook photos I have seen and chatting with the daughter, I know that the family has traveled extensively during the past year. I was pleased that the woman was still well enough to travel and that she was able to share these experiences with her children.</p>
<p>About three months ago, there was a notice in the paper that their house was being foreclosed. The children’s father lives in the area and they live with him part time. So there wasn’t a tremendous disruption to that particular part of the children’s lives and I imagine that they have gone to live with him full time. Of course, the foreclosure is a big problem for neighbors, housing values and the bank.</p>
<p>This made me really take pause. Would I spend my last bit of money on leisure activities or would I use it to pay off my obligations? </p>
<p>On one hand, it’s easy to create memories for your children without spending a lot of money. On the other hand, I can see the “I’m dying, I’m going to do whatever I want.” position too.</p>
<p>I’m not of the spend money recklessly persuasion, but I spent decades doing what I thought I " should do", and am now acutely aware of how many opportunities I passed up to enrich my life and my relationships and I am trying to learn how to make up for that.</p>
<p>Reward in life…that is an interesting way to put it. I would have to answer that question with a follow up question for your thoughts. Is it more rewarding to be blessed or be a blessing to others?
The knowledge that my kids will graduate from private schools with zero debt - that’s my reward!</p>
<p>It’s tough to make decisions like whether to create lasting happy memories with your loved ones in the waning months of your life or pay off all your obligations so you don’t leave a lot of unpaid debt. Am so glad not to have to make these choices. Have been able to pay debts AND enjoy quality experiences with loved ones. I feel very fortunate in that. Am glad my kids will also be graduating & starting the post college lives debt-free. That is a tremendous reward to H, me & the kids. We have had many wonderful experiences, including some travel along the way.</p>
<p>I lost my sister when she was 3 and my brother when he was 22. It was engrained in me from an early age that life is unpredictable and tomorrow can change everything, so my philosophy is enjoy today first and foremost and prepare for the future but no emphasis on future. Live today and the rest will unfold as it should.</p>
<p>My CPA lost one of her kids when he was quite young. She said even though that left them with LARGE medical bills, it did change their lives and re-arranged their values so they spent more to create important, fun memories with their kids and focused more on here & now and not as much on saving for the future. Experiences in life can change our outlook. </p>
<p>My family tends to live a very long time (one uncle died at 107), so I try my best to strike a good balance. We have traveled with our kids since they were 6 months old. We have spent A LOT of time & resources with both of my folks & other family members & loved ones. So far, no regrets.</p>
<p>Expecting to live a long time would make a big difference to me. I have friends whose parents lived into their 90s, & H had a great aunt who was over 100.</p>
<p>My family has a much shorter lifespan, & despite being very healthy for most of my life, I now have issues that generally apply in the last decade. I expect to go before H, although hopefully he will remarry quickly as I suspect if it was left up to him he would be eating take out & peanut butter sandwiches. ;)</p>
<p>I am not sure there are any “rewards” in life or that anyone deserves a “Reward”. What is the right thing is not always objective. I chose my actions by thinking of the pros and cons of each, the chances of potential pros or cons happening etc.</p>
<p>We can’t figure out what my lifespan will be, as I have a serious progressive chronic health condition that no one can figure out how I got or how it will progress. When it was 1st diagnosed 12 years ago, they were talking about major transplant surgery, but fortunately that has been tabled because we all agree I’m WAY too healthy & the risks are too great. That is one of the reasons we have been very glad we have struck the work/life/spend/save balance we have. My folks are about 3 decades older than I and in unusually robust health. </p>
<p>I have a friend who has now lived past the age both of her parents reached before they died of heart problems. She just retired & then had a stroke, so she & her kids are quite concerned. She has spent some great times with them, but has worked hard her whole life.</p>
<p>Figuring out when to jump off the work treadmill is a huge question for us. My recent reality check was my 50yo cousin dropping dead earlier this month. My father’s business failed in the recession in the 70s, so I am very frugal, despite making a good salary.</p>
<p>My mom is 84 still going strong, but both her parents died before they reached 50 (breast cancer & appendicitis), yet her grandmother lived well into her 90s. My paternal grandfather lived to 94, but his wife also died of breast cancer in her 50s. (I’ve been getting annual mamograms since age 25). </p>
<p>Hs parents were heart patients since they were 60. FIL died at age 84, MIL now 88 and been in very poor health for past decade. </p>
<p>I’m getting a bit more antsy to travel to places on my bucket list (Hawaii & Alaska) while we still can. Luckily I have a job where I have travel all over the world to every continent except Antartica.</p>
<p>It was a reality check for us when H’s sister who was in apparently great health (hiked & traveled worldwide), was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in 2009/2010. She had a remission but just recently died at age 73. He’s thinking of stepping off the work treadmill VERY soon. She was only sightly older than he.</p>
<p>Travel when you’re young and healthy if you can possibly afford it–that time may never come again.
Save for your kid’s future if that’s what makes you happy. They’ll love you for it. And it starts the next generation off on a good start.
Stay out of debt–you’ll sleep at night. And your family will be happier too.
Making memories as a family is a worthy goal. And they don’t need to be expensive.</p>
<p>A coworker of mine has been on three family trips in the past few months – including an expensive week-long vacation just a few weeks ago.</p>
<p>A couple of days ago, this same man was complaining that he was going to have to postpone orthodontic work for one of his kids because the family can’t afford it. This is unfortunate because the results of the orthodontic work are likely to be better if done now than if the kid has to wait a few years for it. My colleague and his wife have known for about six months that the kid would need braces.</p>
<p>I cannot understand people who do things this way. If one of my kids needed braces, and money was tight, unnecessary family travel would be unthinkable.</p>
<p>And yet – the trip he took with his family this month is one that I always wanted to do with my kids and never did. And now my kids are grown and it’s too late. </p>
<p>When Mrs, Kluge and I were young we skied, traveled, and didn’t really save much money. When we started having kids our priorities changed. A weekend we might have spent at Squaw Valley we spent instead at Little League games or soccer tournaments. Instead of backpacking in the Sierras we car camped at Yosemite. Evenings out with martinis and witty conversation were replaced by reading Goodnight Moon to sleepy toddlers and changing diapers. And when our kids got older we set aside money for college (not enough!) and retirement. </p>
<p>But I can honestly say we never did a single thing for a “reward.” Spending weekends in a dugout spitting dust out of my mouth while coaching a bunch of 9, 12 or 16year old boys in baseball tournaments was its own reward, which I wouldn’t have traded for a week in a 5 star hotel or helicopter skiing at Whistler.</p>
<p>I can’t think of a single thing I’ve done in my life that I did selflessly. I volunteered for community service because it was interesting and made my town a better place. I volunteered in the schools when my kids were young because it gave me pleasure. And paying for my kids’ college education was something I did for me, not them.</p>
<p>Just because something doesn’t seem to fit in the category of “fun things to do” doesn’t mean it doesn’t give the person doing it satisfaction and is, in fact, its own “reward.”</p>
<p>Orthodontia is an interesting thing. We had braces for both kids. Fast forward 10 years & D needs braces AGAIN. She was doing “tongue thrusting” and got her teeth misaligned while she slept. <sigh> Oh well, she’s going to look into it. We did have orthodontia for both kids & now looks like round two for D.</sigh></p>