<p>I have a philosophical question. What is the reward in life for doing the right thing?</p>
<p>For example, you work hard, save money for your child’s college, make sacrifices so your chilren can have opportunities and stability in life.</p>
<p>Or you choose to play hard, go whitewater rafting, skiing, and have fun today, and never worry or think about the future. And hope, when money runs out or times are tough, others will come through to help out.</p>
<p>What’s the reward in life for doing the former, while it’d be a lot more fun to do the latter?</p>
<p>Much of it depends on your personality. Some people live for the minute and don’t worry about planning. Others spend their entire life planning and saving and don’t enjoy the present. </p>
<p>Family history, health and financial, may play a role in which path you take.</p>
<p>The latter isn’t a terrible approach to life as long as you don’t have kids. If I had kids, there is no way I could enjoy my whitewater rafting knowing that it might cost my kids the roof over their heads. I think that’s true of most decent people.</p>
<p>I think there is a happy medium, and it depends upon your philosophy of what constitutes a fulfilling life. Imo, relationships and experiences are the most important things in life. Live within your means, but not below your means, or you may miss out on experiencing new things and meeting new people for the sake of a savings account that you can’t take with you or do much with when you are old.</p>
<p>It’s the ant & the grasshopper story, but painting it as extremes doesn’t take into consideration how external circumstances and personality can influence our behavior.</p>
<p>I’m not sure I understand the examples of whitewater rafting & skiing. For example either of those things could be expensive, but they don’t have to be.
My husbands ski equipment is from the mid 1970’s. All he has to buy are lift tickets.
I don’t ski anymore, but I still enjoy white water rafting. It isn’t that expensive to go with a group on a local river and the memories last a lifetime.
:)</p>
<p>Life is way too short to never look up from the grindstone.</p>
<p>If I didn’t save for my children’s college education, and if I put my children in a cut rate daycare, and if I didn’t save for retirement, I’d be doing much better in the fun money department.</p>
<p>I couldn’t have seen it or understood it when I was young, but from my perspective today there isn’t a skiing or whitewater trip in the world that could be more fun than being able to write a check for tuition without breaking the bank.</p>
<p>I think it is a balancing act, as life tends to be. Personally, I would absolutely never want to depend on others to take care of me. I have been self-sufficient since I was very young (even though my parents would have been willing to do more for me). My H is the same way, as are our kids. We have managed to do plenty of fun things in life, while still managing to pay for college and save for retirement. We could have a fancier home, or we could have gone on fancier vacations, etc … but we have done what makes us happy while still being careful with our money. Our reward? I wasn’t aware that life comes with a reward! But I will say that we feel blessed, fortunate, loved, supported. That is reward enough for me.</p>
<p>My first 13 years of my working life were spent mostly in the first category, living a life of self-denial and delayed gratification. The trajectory was for private colleges for the 3 kids and an early retirement.</p>
<p>Then Mrs. Magnet joined the sorority that nobody wants to be in - breast cancer diagnosis.</p>
<p>That has a way of changing perspective. We have perfectly serviceable public school options and the need to plan for what we will be doing at 80 has mostly disappeared. Life is a lot more fun with occasional trips to Bourbon Street and Cabo, skiing Whistler and Snowbird, sitting in the 5th row at a Broadway play instead of the balcony.</p>
<p>I would rather have a collection of mountains and valleys in my life than one long, slow, uphill climb. Hopefully it is a lesson we pass on to the kids. I work with a guy who spends every weekend preparing for the coming apocalypse. I will never live that way again.</p>
<p>Happiness comes in many forms. There are peak experiences, and it is worthwhile to allow for them, plan for them, whether the whitewater rafting or climbing 14,000’ mountains. But there is also a joy in long term connections, beautiful sunsets and satisfying routines. </p>
<p>I am related to someone who never had a full time job after having kids, never planned for retirement, and still works part time at age 89. Her life seems to be a long series of dealing with frightening financial obstacles, whether an old car needing expensive brakes, or being able to afford a little help at home. She valued freedom from routine over all else. She had it, but the woes to accompany that freedom look like millstone of worry to my eyes.</p>
<p>satisfaction comes in may forms as well. Personally I find great satisfaction in that we will be able to pay for our kids education through careful planning and saving starting from when they were infants. Others may get satisfaction from going on expensive trips, or living beyond their means…but b#ich and moan about not receiving enough financial aid.</p>
<p>I am sorry to hear of your wife’s diagnosis. </p>
<p>As for your original question, I am not expecting a reward in life other than my own satisfaction for doing the right thing.</p>
<p>Spending family time together is important. I think you should let your kids in on your plan though. I knew from an early age that my parents would not pay for my college, and could plan accordingly. That way we won’t see a thread in 10 years about how you spent all your money and did not save for their education.</p>
<p>My husband and I were married for 10 years before we had children, and during most of that time, we were not sure whether we wanted to have children at all.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, we lived frugally, for the most part, and made a point of putting money into our savings accounts on a regular basis. We did not spend money on high-priced recreational activities very often, and we never went on expensive trips.</p>
<p>We lived this way because it made us feel more comfortable. Having a financial cushion was important to us. We were happier knowing that if one of our cars broke down, we could afford to get it fixed. Or if one of us needed more dental work than our insurance would pay for, we could get that work done. </p>
<p>So for us, the reward was that we felt better living the way we did than we would have if we had blown all our money on “fun.”</p>
<p>Moderation in all things…life is not black and white, and choices don’t need to be either.</p>
<p>My parents always put off fun things for the future…vacations, a dream home, etc…and then my mother died of leukemia at age 44, leaving my dad a huge pile of medical bills that even our good insurance did not begin to cover. They had been careful spenders and good savers, and still my dad was left with less than nothing, and also regretted that he and my mom had never done any of the fun things in life when they could.</p>
<p>So I have always tried to make sure we live life for today, because we don’t know if we will have tomorrow; and yet I still plan for tomorrow as well.</p>
<p>I have a philosophical question. What is the reward in life for doing the right thing?</p>
<p>For example, you work hard, save money for your child’s college, make sacrifices so your chilren can have opportunities and stability in life.</p>
<p>Or you choose to play hard, go whitewater rafting, skiing, and have fun today, and never worry or think about the future. And hope, when money runs out or times are tough, others will come through to help out.</p>
<p>What’s the reward in life for doing the former, while it’d be a lot more fun to do the latter? >>>>>>>>>>>></p>
<p>I can only speak for myself, but it would be to have a clear conscience that I did the right things.</p>
<p>I do my best to have a balance–do SOME enjoyable things while trying to pay all the bills for us and our kiddos, so as not to be a burden to society. It has worked well for us to date and I have no regrets. I like living so that if any of us were to die sooner than expected, we would have fewer regrets than folks that just defer everything. I sleep better at night, knowing that we do have a nestegg and can deal with misfortunes that may come our way. We have had some fairly significant health issues that we have all dealt with and feel it is important to invest in enjoyable experiences AS WELL as saving for our futures. Balance has worked well for us. ;)</p>
But I will say that we feel blessed, fortunate, loved, supported. That is reward enough for me.</p>