<p>Student: Mr. ______ can we evaluate this integral using pattern recognition?
Teacher: Whatever blows your skirt up.</p>
<p>Keep in mind I go to an all male school.</p>
<p>@ Degeneration: Of course we’re serious. </p>
<p>iwaswalking, I’m really sorry you had to go through that. Maybe try a Pablo Neruda poem next time? Nah, never mind. That girl sounds like she’s semi-■■■■■■■■.</p>
<p>The most recent one I can think of was in my AP English Lit class:</p>
<p>Teacher: What was the Puritans’s gift to the Native Americans?
Tard: Thanksgiving!
Teacher: Um, no. Smallpox and other Old World diseases that eventually killed off almost the entire Native American population.
Tard: Oh…</p>
<p>“Doesn’t gas come from that dead stuff underground???”
-Dumb girl in my class. Ok, she’s right… but you’d think she would know that it’s called FOSSIL FUELS.</p>
<p>“How 'bout this… we’ll have sex on the 24th!”
“Marijuana can be used for spiritual purposes, because when you use it, you get so high that it brings you closer to God.”</p>
<p>-My Public Speaking teacher.</p>
<p>In AP English we always start of class with some grammar work.
About a week ago, the teacher asked a student, “What part of speech is ‘around’?”
and the student replied assuredly, “Noun.”
<em>headdesk</em></p>
<p>
AHAHAHAHAHA Iunno why I find that so funnnyyyy</p>
<p>“What is the half note with the little dot next to it called?”
–our first chair flutist (it’s called a dotted half note for those who don’t know)</p>
<p>“Did George Washington die before or after the Revolutionary War?”
–8th grade history…not from high school but still one of my favorites</p>
<p>“I’ve looked up that word before and it always means the same thing!”
–english class…the kid was smart, he was just having an off day i guess haha</p>
<p>The teacher wrote “They inventented the printing press etc,”</p>
<p>Student: “You have ent written twice in invented…”
Teacher: “That’s… uh… how they spelled it back then,”</p>
<p>Ok, so my friend G transfered here from Australia as a sophomore, and she had to take Freshman physics as a sophomore. </p>
<p>G: and so when you factor in the fact that gravity works a 9.8 m/s^2…
Freshman: WHOAH. They have gravity in Australia too?
G: <em>headdesk</em></p>
<p>And from my friend T at lunch:</p>
<p>T: You know, I just realized, I don’t like any meat that comes from a pig. I don’t like bacon or sausage or pork.
Me: T, you’re eating a ham sandwich.
T: Ham comes from a HAM, idiot, not a PIG.</p>
<p>Yet another one today -</p>
<p>Me: “Serving coffee seems fun, you know?” (Talking to one girl)
S (interupting the convo): “Want to know what else is fun? Shoving my ten inch d*** up your a**”</p>
<p>Teacher: “An essay should be like a woman’s skirt. Long enough to cover the important parts, but short enough to keep me interested.”</p>
<p>Girl 1: I, like, always want to look, like, on the positive side of things…
Girl 2: You mean you’re optimistic?
Girl 1: um, I don’t know what that means, but yeah, I look at the positive side of things.
Girl 2: …</p>
<p>Me: Okay so my topic is Oberlin College.
Boy: Is it a college?
Me: … It’s called Oberlin COLLEGE.
Boy: So? That’s still my question!
Me: I’m not writing that down.</p>
<p>The one about the essay being like a woman’s skirt is cliche, I’ve heard that one used by multiple teachers in my school.</p>
<p>ahaha,</p>
<p>My APUSH (AP US History) teacher was referring to a economic crisis-
“Then the Orgy of selling began”</p>
<p>Then during the revolutionary war–we were talking about muskets-
“Does anyone own a rife? Would they consider bring it in to show the class!?!”</p>
<p>My crazy PreCalc teacher-
“Global Warming does not exist”
“Why do I let you do this? BECAUSE YOUR MY FAVORITE STUDENT!”–To everyone, everyday.</p>
<p>Then he makes up crazy synonyms when checking our homework- ‘extravagant’ ‘great’ ‘well done’ exhilarating’… he has at least 30 different ones…</p>
<p>“What’s an octave?”
-me, after over 9000 years of being in music classes (and i knew what it was, idk why i said it)</p>
<p>this wasnt while i was at school, but i was watching a doc on andy warhol while on the phone with someone, and they asked who he was, so i said a pop artist, and they said, oh! what songs did he do?</p>
<p>Precalc Teacher x_x:</p>
<p>Teacher: Wanna know another way to remember SOHCAHTOA? I couldn’t remember that one easily.
Us: Um… sure, why not.
Teacher: TOASOHCAH!
Us: <em>headdesk</em></p>
<p>It was like mid-May</p>
<p>Teacher: So there’s no school tomorrow…
Student: WE HAVE A SNOW DAY TOMORROW?
Teacher: …this is an AP class. This is an AP class. I think I’ll go home and say that 50 times.</p>
<p>Guy1: when’s the football game
Guy2: saturday. You coming?
Guy1: Maybe…
Guy2: If you can’t come, I don’t wanna do it
Random guy: That’s what she said
Guy 1: ~awkward~</p>
<p>“Cornell isn’t an Ivy” -said by a classmate</p>
<p>“Wait… Isn’t Bumblef.u.c.k. a real place in NY?” -said by same classmate.</p>
<p>“What’s a nation?” -said by same classmate in APUSH</p>
<p>…Oy vey.</p>
<p>haha, a girl in 10th grade history didnt know where nj was [we live there]. someone else couldnt find california.</p>