<p>In some families a certain amount of money is set aside for a wedding, Bar Mitzvah or whatever. Some families chose to offer money in lieu of an extravagant wedding, or a nice wedding with money leftover is a gift. That is a family choice. Some families do as your family did, and that’s fine too. And as for the satin covers…absolutely people have them. But try them out before you choose the fabric for the slippery content. These were gorgeous, but death defying.</p>
<p>As for my kids: My kids were young when the big wedding occurred. My son said straight out he’d take the money and buy a house with the money. My girls say today that they wouldn’t spend that kind of money. They would much rather have a nice nest egg than 5 hours of excess.</p>
<p>So much of this is regional so it’s natural for all these differing opinions. </p>
<p>We were older when we got married and had been living on our own and then together for enough time that we knew we didn’t “need” anything and, when the time came for nicer things that we wanted we would just prefer to buy them ourselves. Instead, we decided to ask people to donate to one of two charities in our honor. One was religious, one was environmental. Most people loved the idea, except my mother-in-law who was upset that she couldn’t see what her friends were giving us versus what she had given their wedding child. She insisted they give us a gift so we wound up with ridiculous items that we had no place to store in our apartment and then went right into the attic when we moved into a house.</p>
<p>My older daughter asked for donations instead of gifts for her Sweet 16 party. We left a box at the entrance with a poster and info about the charity so the kids could just drop their envelope into the box and read some info about the charity. Her friends really liked the idea.</p>
<p>What were your “favorite” wedding gifts? Mine were a chicken head casserole and a silver plated caviar server, sans the spoon. I actually have used to caviar server…a few times for caviar, but mostly for butter.</p>
<p>Four plain cloth napkins. Mot to be ungrateful or anything, but geez, that’s a bit economical, so to speak. I would definitely have traded them for the chicken head casserole!</p>
<p>I don’t think that anyone wanted it. The head was at one end and the neck was the lifting device…it was like wringing the neck of a chicken everytime one would lift up the top… I gave it away. What color were those napkins? Had I known…we could have made a deal. :)</p>
<p>No wedding, no wedding gifts. My H’s postdoc salary barely covered our rent, food and necessities. Our first family apartment was firnished with stuff from Goodwill and Salvation Army stores… Our “new” sofa came from someone who had dogs. Dogs with fleas. LOL.</p>
<p>I wish I could have a shower now, after being married for years. Oh the fun it would be to register at Williams Sonoma, knowing what really is useful !</p>
<p>I was thinking about the very first post: “you could buy 40 $1 buckets at the dollar store.”</p>
<p>At the risk of being incendiary, if the bride has one really nice ice bucket, she will never need to buy another one. She will not need to buy junk at the dollar store that she will throw out later.</p>
<p>Of course, the American way has always been to have more junk than you need, instead of a few high quality items. I didn’t register for silver because I got my silver from my mother–it’s on its fourth generation now. And yes, I use it every day. My older sister got the china. </p>
<p>I generally don’t buy from the registry. My personal favorite gift is a pretty handmade vase–pottery or glass. They can be bought from the artist at a craft fair for prices ranging from $50 to thousands. They come in colors to suit any decor. They are uniique. I arrived at this gift after realizing that the functional art pieces I was given as wedding presents are the ones where, twenty-five years later, I still remember who gave them to us and they’re still special.</p>
<p>^I agree I know who gave us every vase and use them often. My dh filled one with flowers from the garden this morning for mother’s day. I also like getting pottery serving bowls. One of the most amusing gifts I got was a complete coffee service (cups, saucers, dessert plates serving pot), dating from the 1950s - it’s so ugly it’s great - very retro looking.</p>
<p>I sat here this morning trying to remember our wedding gifts from 26 years ago. Most have gone away over the years. I still have the funky, but oddly beautiful crystal candlesticks and the never used silver-plated utensil server for buffet dinners (when will I ever use that) and I actually remember who gave them to me. The one gift that I still have and use everyday but I don’t remember who gave it to us, is a warm wool blanket for our bed. Great gift and thank you whom ever!</p>
<p>What kind of ice bucket could you get at a dollar store anyway? Styrofoam? I agree I’d rather have nice that is long lasting than disposable crap.</p>
<p>I remember most of our wedding gifts. Truthfully, the only thing that got a LOT of use (until it died and was replaced with a new one) was the crockpot. We used at least once a week in the cooler weather. We didn’t register for anything. Folks asked us if we wanted crystal or china…we wanted NEITHER (we have dishes from my mom). Well…they gave us the crystal and some of it (28 years later) still have the little sticky labels on them. We’ve never used all 12 at once. Plus if we’re having a big bash with wine, we use CHEAP wine glasses, not $40 a piece stems. </p>
<p>Personally I like registries for the friends of my kids who are getting married. I don’t know their tastes and it’s nice to have an idea of what they like. I usually buy off of the registry because that is WHAT they want. But I will say, our friends’ kids register at BBand B and Target, not at Tiffanys.</p>
<p>I think it can work well to register both at lower end places and higher end places. The budgets and tastes of the guests may be all over the board, from young friends who can maybe only spend $20-30 or so, in which case they can buy cookingware, dishtowels, spatulas etc and package them nicely, to friends of the parents who may have more income and are more comfortable with a traditional china type of gift. Don’t forget things like cuisinarts - they cost a pretty penny too.</p>
<p>My favorite, although never used, wedding gift? A baccarat jam server with spoon. It is in the buffet cabinet. It is gorgeous. But even today with a formal brunch I’m not using it. I have used it occasionally for flowers, sans top.</p>
<p>But I totally agree with registering at high and low end stores. (Low end does not insinuate low quality btw). I have used my china, crystal (which was $2 a stem…and it is gorgeous…durand I believe) and my sterling constantly. My mother in law recently gave my daughters’ her china…service for 24. So they won’t “need” it. But then most kids get their china today at Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel. Really nice, functional stuff. </p>
<p>I just am excited that someday my kids will get married!</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, the problem with a $40 ice bucket is that it is very likely a disposable plastic crap, it just costs $40. I have yet to see a really nice one for $40 retail.</p>
<p>The crockpot we got for our wedding still works – 25 years out. Still have our original pyrex baking pans, too. We just replaced our canisters about a year ago after they finally cracked and died. Still have placemats we got for wedding gifts – I think I have finally tossed the napkins, as they were finally stained beyond redemption.</p>
<p>Our ice bucket was under $40 retail–it’s wooden with a plastic liner. The teak matches our table & we’ve had it for many years. I purchased it myself rather than listing it on any wedding registry. Actually, I think the suggested retail price may have been $40, but I got it for about 1/2 price, on closeout sale.</p>
I actually have used to caviar server…a few times for caviar, but mostly for butter.</p>