<p>Actually roomies can be very tight-lipped about what’s going on, esp. since they are also 18 and may think that something’s no big deal when it actually may be. i cannot imagine many roomies spilling their guts.</p>
<p>My daughter just called. She is 22, living in another city, working, and will be doing post grad classes this fall. She called to give me the password to her “account” (not sure what all is in it) at her new school. She said you could opt for parental access and she figured “why not”—she may need help sometime figuring out finances or something. </p>
<p>I really don’t see the big deal in letting a parent have access. And I highly doubt that one would be privy to medical records–maybe just bills.</p>
<p>I’ve met our son’s roommate and several of his friends. I wouldn’t expect them to tell me a whole lot, but I do think they’d let me know if there was a real reason to be concerned. They really are very bright kids.</p>
<p>If either of my kids offered me a password, I’d take it. I’m just not going to ask for it.</p>
<p>We didn’t ask DD to sign it … she just did it. Of course, considering we pick up a portion of the cost not covered by scholarship, I would totally expect her to do so. I like seeing what my money is buying.</p>
<p>I have passwords to everything, D gave them to me a long time ago. I just use them to provide operations support, pay fees and bills, etc. I don’t look at her grades though. I could - but it’s more fun letting her tell me. I would sometimes look at her class schedule, but only if I was in the same city and trying to remember what time she told me to meet her someplace for dinner or otherwise be “home” for dinner, and some classes go on until 7-8-9 at night. </p>
<p>If she didn’t give them to me, I would never ask. I do not have the passwords to her bank accounts, email accounts, etc. - there’s such a thing as too much information and I want her to have her privacy - AND I do expect my privacy to be respected - that road goes both ways.</p>
<p>my mom has my password to my local bank account, only because it’s a joint account so that she could write checks for me if i got a bill here while I was at college. i barely keep any money in it and she always teases me about when i’m going to give her the password to my regular bank account. if she could only figure out that the password is the same i’d give her a cookie, haha.</p>
<p>she, on the other hand, uses the same exact password for virtually everything. if her password ever gets out to outsiders she’s in trouble… haha… and everyone around here knows it, myself, my sister, my dad, probably my grandparents, my aunt, her daugther, etc.</p>
<p>D has all of my passwords (I live a very simple life ;)). I have all her school passwords. Her social utilities are beyond my need (or want) to know. Presently I have been tasked with once a day looking for her last grade to be posted while she luxuriates in Espana.</p>
<p>Heh… I really can’t see this becoming an issue with me. I have my parents pay the remainder of my bill (the relatively small part not covered by merit $) online each semester, and they cannot remember my student id or password to save their lives, even after I EXPLAINED my password to them. I also tell them in grades, and I freak out about them far, far more than they ever would, so it’s a moot point. As for healthcare, at my school, paying the required health fee gets you x free visits each semester, so I guess that would only show up with you went over that or got something that wasn’t covered (that was the case with my flu shot this year, no idea what else would be included).</p>
<p>Interestingly enough, this issue did come up with my brother. My parents got an “academic alert” email in regards to manadatory advising appoinrtment brought on by a less than perfect mid-term grade. I felt bad for him, being called out by an email like that. I guess my parents technically had a reason to know ($$), but it put both parties in a tough spot.</p>
<p>I do think there could be some issues with privacy with regards to counseling (and STDs, if the parents had access to information about the nature of the visit). Honestly,wouldn’t most parents be more than a bit concerned if your kid suddenly started seeing a therapist and want to know why? I could see a lot of situations where this could create tension…</p>
<p>Cur: Like there’s any real question about what the grade will be with your kid?;)</p>
<p>Off Topic: wp, I hope you are right but she’s not so sure . It’s not a math or science grade she’s missing. She thinks she knows, but she doesn’t know she knows.You know? LOL</p>
<p>LOL, wolfpiper, you pretty much tell US everything that happens along the way … if your parents want to know your grades, all they have to do is come over here to CC. Who needs a password? I mean, we knew when you were stressed over your grade in organic chem; we know all about the problems with taking Japanese at your college; we followed your path to pledging a sorority every step of the way. You definitely win top honors for “communicating” with parents. 
</p>
<p>Anyway, I think you actually perform a valuable service for CC parents with helicoptering impulses and noncommunicative children. We can “adopt” you instead, since you are so eager to hear our advice when our own kids don’t want to hear it. And you have the benefit of having a few dozen “parents” at your disposal any time you want. :)</p>
<p>Wow this thread got really long since yesterday. My D has 3 email accounts. A hotmail one, one at her college to be, one at her res HS. She cannot access the first 2 from her HS cause they are blocked. The college stuff seems to be emailed to her college account or her HS account depending on which dept is sending it. So we check her college one (only) currently because she cannot. We have only been copied by the college on one of the emails she has been sent - it was sent to her college email, her HS email and to us!! - can you guess what …3 guesses and the 1st 2 don’t count …yep you guessed it - the Bursars account info - there’s a surprise </p>
<p>I wanted to do rolly eyes but don’t know how</p>
<p>She could just resent the idea of being monitored or not having the control to decide whether to tell you (even if she ultimately does decide to tell you everything). I know some people who have had that problem with things like this. Personally I just sign it, I don’t really think about it, actually I think I just gave some permission for that on some form yesterday. But I can kind of understand where people are coming from. They may just be irked at the though that, well, I haven’t messed up yet and we’ve gone on so long without this, why does it matter now? But I think it’s natural to want information that can be available to you, even if just out of curiosity. That’s not so much helicoptering, as human. If someone says, hey wanna look at this?, we say yes. And we look. Because we can, not because we need to, or because we even thought about it before we had the chance handed to us. </p>
<p>But maybe you could work out some compromise, if really things have been working out but you would prefer more communication. Just simply knowing she is having a good time and doing well, and you may be interested if she is studying something particularly unusual. Perhaps she could give you more frequent updates like that if she really has a problem with signing this. But also I think if you talk about and try to just say, well, your decision, but look, we basically know this stuff anyway and we’re not upset over it. Why don’t you let us have this access just in case something happens and another line of support becomes necessary? You could give her your word that you won’t abuse it. Can she take this access away? Perhaps you can point out if you abuse it she can take it away, or deny it next year (but reassure her you don’t plan to abuse it, just so she feels better about the whole thing).</p>