<p>“Pauline Friedman Phillips, who under the name of Abigail Van Buren, wrote the long-running “Dear Abby” advice column that was followed by millions of newspaper readers throughout the world, has died. She was 94.”</p>
<p>Too bad… end of an era. I have to say, I always liked Ann Lander’s (her twin) advice better. It seemed more down to earth and logical to me. But I got a lot of entertainment out of reading Abby over the years, too. What a great job… you couldn’t make that stuff up (well, they could have, but I think they did not need to).</p>
<p>I remember as a little girl reading Ann Landers (Abby was in a different paper) and she usually was fine, apologised when she wasn’t. I never forgot her “Are you better with him or without him” line for the married couples with issues…for some, it brought things down to basics.</p>
<p>Funny how the family business became advice. Abby’s daughter Jeanne has been “Abby” for over a decade while the daughter of Abby’s sister “Ann” - Margo Howard - was Dear Prudence at Slate and now is Dear Margo elsewhere (which for the first time actually makes sense as a name). </p>
<p>The humor to me is that of course the Friedmans were Jewish twins giving advice under the Christian names of van Buren and Landers. It’s weird how much of mainstream American culture connects so deeply to Jews. Ralph Lauren being Ralph Lif****z - mom’s name was Freydl - and so on (Calvin born Richard Klein, Michael Kors - mom Jewish, raised Jewish, etc.) In make-up, Estee Lauder and Helena Rubenstein to start. </p>
<p>I’m reminded of the story - which is apparently true - that when Richard Rodgers visited Cole Porter in Venice, Cole said he’d finally figure out how to write a hit: he’d write Jewish music. I didn’t realize until recently how literally that was true. Songs like “You’d be so nice to come home to” are versions of Yiddish songs. And of course, Israel Beilin wrote the most popular Christmas song (White Christmas), the most popular Easter song (Easter Parade) and one of the 2 most popular patriotic songs other than the anthem (God Bless America). Even weirder (maybe) is God Bless America is a version of one of the central prayers of Jewish worship, the Avot. I guess you write what you know.</p>
<p>I wonder if the Friedman girls were influenced by A Bintel Brief. That was a yiddish language advice column started in 1906. The name means bundle of letters. And it was essentially what the girls did.</p>
<p>(As a note added, I can see why Ralph changed his name: it can’t even be rendered on CC but is reduced to asterisks.)</p>
<p>"Just Married, Just Married, You have no complaint
You are what you are and you ain’t what you ain’t
So listen up buster, and listen up good
Stop wishin’ for bad luck and knockin’ on wood
Signed, Dear Abby.” - John Prine lyric.</p>
<p>Dear Abby was a huge deal in my childhood hometown. In the land of Scandinavian Lutherans, I don’t think it ever entered anyone’s mind as to the heritage of their last names or whether or not they were Jewish. Most of the talk was about their being twins. My grandfather changed his last name when he came to America so no one would think he was a “dumb Swede”. </p>
<p>Back to Abby/Ann - My mom really thought she was giving us our “life lessons” with her daily reading of the columns. Abby will be fondly remembered!</p>