I’m freaking out because I’m in love with Colorado College (amazing people, amazing location in the rockies, amazing life in general, love the block plan, small liberal arts like I wanted), but I want a career in the arts and I feel like I can’t pass up RISD, and CMU (College of Fine Arts) gave me a big scholarship. I’ll need loans for Colorado College and RISD, but with a BA from CC, trying to go into the arts, I’ll have trouble paying them off, which probably isn’t the case if I go to RISD. I like CMU the least but I don’t hate it…and that scholarship! Also, I’d like to explore new things like Anthropology or Geology and stuff, which I could totally do at CC, but I guess I could live without it for the sake of a better art education (maybe??). Also I can do some anthropology stuff through RISD but I’m not sure I would because the workload is already so daunting.
Another thing: I have pretty good work ethic, but I HATE WORKING. I’m not materialistic or goal oriented (don’t need a high powered career), and I tend to care a lot more about my happiness/social life than achievement–I’m just not competitive and I get easily overwhelmed and discouraged by too much work. I also get weird and insecure about my artistic abilities, and I’m not sure I can handle art school in general, especially somewhere as top notch/competitive as RISD or CMU. For this reason, I’m not sure I can (or want to) handle CMU or RISD, but I feel like CC would be such an unwise choice that I’ll love SO MUCH while I’m there and regret later.
So just wrote an essay but this feels like a terrible crisis (I have to decide in less than a week) and I NEED HELP :o