So today, I came back to my dorm to see my roommate and his girlfriend in the room. He gave me no such warning whatsoever… I wouldn’t be so concerned if we lived in a house, but keep in mind that we live in a college dorm triple. Its crammed as it is. I’m not as bummed about her staying over as he not giving me a heads up that she’s staying here for the weekend. In the roommate agreement at the beg of the year the RA asked us what we thought about having guests over. I said I wouldn’t mind but would like a 2 day heads up. He said he didn’t care if I had a guest over and I can just tell him 30 minutes over. I still expect him to respect my rule and give me a 2 day heads up. What irritates me is that he’s done this before. He never gives me a heads up… the last time she came he told me 20 minutes before and said he “forgot”. Surely you can’t forget that your girlfriend is coming over especially if she lives over 2 hours away and has planned the visit. What do I do? I don’t want to confront him with his girlfriend over and make a fuss about it front of her. Also, the year is coming to an end and he prolly wont have her over again. Should I tell him after the weekend or just forget about it?
Did you bring it up to him last time it happened?
The girl is here now so it sounds like a done deal for this weekend, but if I were you I would address it when she leaves, just a “Hey, you should tell me ahead of time if you are having an overnight guest. In the future, I would appreciate it if you give me a heads up a few days before someone shows up. Thanks!”
Just don’t make a big deal out of it. I assume you are not living with him next year, and if she is not likely to come back again, you just risk pissing him off which is bad for you. Saying something about it once probably wouldn’t hurt though
@doschicos no i didnt bring it up, but the last time when he said “oh btw my gf is coming in 20 minutes” i said how come he didnt tell me and he said he forgot. and i said “oh ok” and left it at that.
The fact that you didn’t address directly and more concretely last time, puts you in a bit of a weaker position now.
If you think its going to fester if you don’t address it and if you can articulate it in a unemotional way, might be good to say something. If you can’t or don’t want to deal with it, I assume you only have a month left and you can just let it slide. With next year and future roommate situations in mind, I learned that open and early communication is usually the best approach.
If this is the worst you’ve faced as roommates all year, that’s not that bad of a track record. 
Why do you need to know 2 days ahead of time? Would you wash your sheets or something?
@intparent well I would like to go home because I don’t live too far away and if I have ample time then I could plan a ride with someone back home and get work that I cant take home done before the weekend. I don’t like staying in a triple with 4 people… a bit congested.
@intparent And regardless, I shouldn’t have to provide a reason. I stated in the roommate agreement that I would like 2 days. I shouldn’t need a reason to not have a guest over. I could have equally said I don’t want anyone to sleepover and not provided a reason why. My parents are paying for this room to be split 3 ways, and anything else should be considered a privilege.
@doschicos ehh I think he’s bad. This isnt the worst of problems. He’s really messy, borrows things without asking, and has the exact opposite sleeping schedule as me. I always have to take out the trash and when I ask him to do so, its a one time thing… he doesnt keep up with it.
There’s only a small number of weeks left to the semester. You can choose a different living situation next year and never have to see him again.
Since you are in a triple, what does your other roommate think?
Hopefully, you’ll have a better experience next year. Triples are tough as it is. Was it a forced triple?
One of my kids has a roommate who is a huge, huge slob and the room is miniscule. They’ve gotten along well but its starting to wear thin. Good thing there is only 1 month left.
@doschicos the other roommate is an international roommate and is quiet. i dont think he minds too much… but im not really sure.
- What do your college’s dorm rules say about guests?
- I will guess that the OP is an introvert and would like to be prepared when their space is invaded (if you are an extrovert this makes no sense to you)
- Roommate is not adhering to roommate agreement
- Only one month left
- If you have plans to be out of the room…tell him when those will be. Tell him you will be back later (so you won’t be sexiled.)
He just sounds inconsiderate in general. I’d drop it and hope for someone better next year…with very clear rules in the beginning!