<p>The school is working on it. Son called to say that GF’s mom got a call asking for her D’s cell phone number. Of course, now she’s freaking out. Now GF has to tell her mother. I’d love to hear what her mother thinks of the roommate situation. Son is mad at me, but now GF can blame me for telling the school. So now that I’ve made everyone mad at me, maybe they can figure out the problem, and in the end, I hope everything will work out for the better.</p>
<p>That’s great news, toledo. Thanks for posting it. I hope so too.</p>
<p>Oh, toledo, hugs to you! You weren’t supposed to tell, according to the kids . . . but you did the right thing. And if you over-reacted, well . . . then that’s the best-case scenario. I hope S will forgive you.</p>
<p>Better to be the bad guy than the sorry guy, imho. Plus, now that they are mad at you, they’ll leave you alone and you can read a good book. 
You’re son won’t even remember this in a week when he wants you to send him his favorite sweatshirt he forgot at home, or some such thing or other.</p>
<p>good news, toledo.</p>
<p>I think it’s too soon to jump to a diagnosis of schizophrenia…</p>
<p>Hallucinations during sleep are actually pretty common— they are isolated to the sleeping state and do not really carry on into the wakeful state. They can also come from drugs like Ambien or Nyquil, not to mention less legal drugs…</p>
<p>[Sleep</a> paralysis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis]Sleep”>Sleep paralysis - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>With sleep paralysis it’s quite common to feel like there is a presence in the room.</p>
<p>Is girlfriend sure the roomate was being serious?</p>
<p>OP-Such music groups like U2 have lent credibility to the idea of aliens-
this concert had over 125,000 people in attendance. As parents, I believe it is important to keep abreast with what our children may listen to, their opinions on a variety of subjects. You may find that that your son also believes there is a possibility of aliens-look how he reference that TV show, You have expressed your opinion-which has validity-don’t get me wrong–however you went on to suggest the GF’s roommate may be mentally unstable because of her belief.
Personally, I have never “met” an alien. Is it possible-its plausible I suppose-I also believe in God. Some things are not tangible and are taken on faith. Please consider this situation from a different perspective before this child suffers unduly.</p>
<p>If it is psychosis, there should be other signs. Is she still taking showers and brushing her teeth, for example? Is she emotionally flat, or agitated? An interest in aliens by itself is not, I don’t think, cause for too much concern. Certainly a qualified professional should assess her, but without some behavioral or emotional disturbances I do not think psychosis should be at he top of the list of what’s happening here.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone ought to make a diagnosis. But the GF was obviously upset enough to call his mother, which indicates that the GF was very upset by this…no? The important thing is to trust her instincts and to make sure she is safe. The truth is that a college roommate is really a stranger, and she doesn’t know anything but that she doesn’t feel safe. Each student has a right to feel safe when they go to sleep at night, and that kind of “is my roommate crzy” question shouldn’t be in the equation when she turns out the light. That’s all. It’s not conducive to studying or to sleeping well.</p>
<p>toledo … you did the right thing and it was probably hard. Good job.</p>
<p>If it were my D in the dorm, either as GF or alien sighter, I’d be thankful that there were people watching out for her.</p>
<p>And that is one thing I really tried to talk to my D about to beat it into her head that as a teenager it would be MUCH better to get an adult involved than to try to rescue one of her friends by herself. (This was AFTER, of course, that I found out she and her friend were doing a suicide watch on another friend WITHOUT telling the girl’s mom). No, no, no, get an adult. Although to be bragging, my D is more sensible than some moms I know.</p>
<p>Should be listed in the TALKS with your kids: safe sex, safe drinking, safe walking and safe care of other kids.</p>
<p>The GF didn’t call her mother, it was the school that called the girl’s mother.</p>
<p>I followed this thread yesterday, didn’t post because I am not sure if I’ve handled it the same way. I could see how the son and potentially the GF maybe upset about this. I would have just suggested for the GF to stay away while they tried to sort it out. If it was my daughter who was the GF, I would have trusted my daughter to contact me or the school about this issue. It would have bothered me that my daughter’s BF’s mother to contact the school on my daughter’s behalf. Of course, I am referring to MY daughter, because I believe she is very aware of people and her surroundings. I am not a professional when it comes to mental illness, but on the face of it I am not convinced if the girl was in imminent danger.</p>
<p>APOL–I attended a recent U2 concert, and, believe me, they are *not *promoting a belief in aliens. It’s a stage set.</p>
<p>Wow…good job toldeo. This thread brings up a point…when my S was a freshman we met his roommie and parents at orientation. All of us exchanged phone numbers and emails. If possible, get the cel number of your student’s roommate. At the very least, keep the papers they send your kid over the summer that have the contact information for the roommate.<br>
In our case we did this because the other parents are close by and we are across the country. They kindly offered right away to provide contact information and any emergency support ever needed. Thankfully we never have needed it.</p>
<p>My husband thought that I should have given GF a chance to contact the school about the roommate and in hindsight, maybe I should have. I don’t think she would have reported it because she and son really don’t think there is a problem (even though GF admits roommate was agitated over the recent levitation). Most of us, the parents on this board, see it as a concern. So who is right? The funny thing is that all three of them are taking psychology this semester.</p>
<p>18 year olds are not as well informed about health issues as parents, and are not as likely to do the kind of research or ask for advice about phenomena such as these. I think you did right. Better safe than sorry.</p>
<p>That’s my feeling too, marite. Yes, usually I’m all for the kids handling things on their own. And my child would hate it too if she told me something about another kid and I somehow broadcast that information. But no one wants to look back on a situation and realize we could have done something and we didn’t. It’s a very hard call.</p>
<p>Along with the fine suggestion to get and keep contact info for the roomie and family, I want to reiterate my suggestion that parents also learn what they can about the support system in the dorms, as soon as you send in the deposit.</p>
<p>Find out, before your kid moves in, whether he or she can expect to have an RA on his or her hall, and learn what kind of training the RA undergoes. If you’re lucky, the RA will have been chosen via a thorough and careful screening process, and will have undergone intensive training in standard safety procedures, first aid and CPR, basic peer counseling, recognizing when and how to bring in adult help (and what kind of help to bring in when), and how to get cleaning/repairs done in the building. Many RAs receive more training than that; sadly some receive less. </p>
<p>If you help your kid move in, meet the RA. Usually they’re on hand to greet new students and begin making them feel at home.</p>
<p>Other useful things to know: Are there peer academic counselors/mentors on the hall or in the dorm? How about peer sexual health counselors or peer drug/alcohol counselors? Many schools make sure that trained students are present and visible throughout the dorm, as a first resource for students who have questions or concerns. They don’t try to do the work of adult academic advisors or sexual health resource people or drug counselors; they are there to provide information, referrals, or sometimes just a sympathetic ear. </p>
<p>Knowing what your child’s college does to help new (and returning students) cope with dorm life and college life is helpful in numerous ways. I definitely sleep better at night, and am more comfortable dealing with vent or dump calls - I like being able to ask something like, “have you tried talking to X about your schedule?” or “I wonder if that’s something Z could help with?”</p>
<p>. . . </p>
<p>I think this is the most soap-boxy post I’ve ever made.</p>
<p>When I was in college, the RA was a junior or senior. As a parent, I would not rely on a 20 or 21 year old to know how to deal with possible mental problems among the students.
I am haunted by the story of a Harvard student who murdered her roommate.
[Sinedu</a> Tadesse - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinedu_Tadesse]Sinedu”>Murder of Trang Phuong Ho - Wikipedia)
I followed the story in The Crimson at the time, and not many of the details written up in the wikipedia entry were known at the time.</p>
<p>marite, I’m not trying to convince anybody that an RA is an adult counselor. </p>
<p>What I’m suggesting that it’s good to know about available resources.</p>