<p>Another thought – possibly the roommate is suffering from some kind of prescription drug interaction? This happened to my mom last year – she had very disturbing, realistic feeling dreams and possibly hallucinations until we got it sorted out.</p>
<p>Of course any student RA would be over her head in a situation like this. No one would expect an RA to handle it on her own. But what an RA really CAN do is make certain that the appropriate administrators are aware of the issue, and give them some objective, reliable sense of what the situation is day-to-day. That’s invaluable.</p>
<p>Harriet and JHS:</p>
<p>Point well taken.</p>
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<p>Alright, I’m confused, but then again I skimmed the thread, so maybe I missed something. Where did the OP say that the girlfriend told her boyfriend that she was afraid for her life? It wasn’t even the girl’s own mother here, it was the mother of a son whose girlfriend told HIM about the roommate.</p>
<p>Couldn’t help notice your screen name and wonder if you may be a little biased 
But you’re right. GF feels safe, but I’m not sure she is safe.</p>
<p>Tomorrow she could become that alien.</p>
<p>HMW, you have provided a valuable service here. Don’t apologize! NPR’s Morning Edition has ahad a series on college mental health services and they are finding that with more effective medications, students who might never have made it to college in earlier times are now there and sometimes needs support. This is a hot issue at many schools – so if it is a concern, go ahead and ask when you visit, etc. </p>
<p>S1 was 17 when he went off to school, but on his borthday he signed the FERPA forms giving us access, with the understanding we would do so only if we felt it was a critical emergency.</p>
<p>No college kid wants their mom to contact the parent of another or the campus, they just don’t. That does not mean it is not the right thing to do. There is a really good chance that when your college kid complains about a roommate you are getting a one sided story and some exaggeration. That does not mean that the basic issue is not a valid issue!</p>
<p>I received a call once from the mom of a roommate with all sorts overwhelming conjecture- much of it turned out not to be true, but the kernel of truth was that my Dd was being threatened by a 3rd party and I investigated and we dealt with the situation. It was a big deal. There was a huge amount of anger on my DDs part that the roomie complained and that her mom called and even though things turned out well for my DD in the end, she still doesn’t like the roommate. I dealt with the girl and her parents for about 6 months and would just say politely that they had some real issues of their own, but still the mom may have been calling to whine or complain or to help, I don’t know her motivation, but she had guts enough to call me and tell me some ugly and scary things. I was really glad they were mostly untrue, but it was indicative of a situation that needed changing and from thousands of miles away, I needed some one to tell me there was a real issue.</p>
<p>It turned out my DD was being stalked and it was scary and no matter how I evaluate the other mom and her DDs issues, I am appreciative of her guts to put herself out there and get involved.</p>
<p>I have called other parents before, more in HS, and not always been appreciated, but hopefully helped in the long run.</p>
<p>This is one thread I would be interested with an update. So is the roommate a psycho or not?</p>
<p>I promise to update as soon as I know more. The school called GF on her cell phone at least once, but she refused to answer. I tried to impress upon son, how important it was that she return the call. I also suggested that GF spend that night at his apartment until this is sorted out (How cool is that? A mom suggesting a girlfriend stay over?) The fact that the R.A. is also aware of situation means that at least 2 people should be following up. I wanted to wait a few days before asking about it again, as son was really mad at me.</p>
<p>One day they will understand your concern and why it was best to go ahead and seek help. This is definitely a “better safe than sorry” - if not for your son and GF , but perhaps for the roommate.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t even be so sure that you’d get an update. I’ve always thought medical issues are private, and that a school cannot just release that information to anyone.</p>
<p>School won’t update me but GF or son will tell me what happens.</p>
<p>Well, that’s what I mean. I don’t think they are even allowed to share medical information with the GF. They may move her to another room, but I don’t think they are allowed to say “your roommate has such and such illness.”</p>
<p>Apologies for not reading the thread first, but this is what immediate come to mind. Son claims folks where bolting from the theatre.</p>
<p>[Paranormal</a> Activity pulls the crowds - Channel 4 News](<a href=“http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/arts_entertainment/film_tv/paranormal+activity+pulls+the+crowds/3406102]Paranormal”>http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/arts_entertainment/film_tv/paranormal+activity+pulls+the+crowds/3406102)</p>
<p>“I am shocked, beyond shocked, that the head of counseling, without evaluating a young student who is becoming increasingly delusional, is not a danger (to herself? to others?) because he has third hand information”</p>
<p>If the head of counselings info was third hand, what is ours? Becoming increasing delusional? How was that discerned?</p>
<p>OK, I’m done.</p>
<p>As a former RA who had to deal with a student with significant mental problems that resulted in an immediate ER trip and hospitalization for the student, I can comment on what the RA should be doing. I found out about the situation because students told me that somethings was wrong. When I talked to the student, I strongly agreed. I knew instantly that I was in way over my head, so I left the student with another RA and went immediately to my boss, who called the campus police, who have a psychologist on call. That psychologist spoke to me, (the student wasn’t talking at that point, and certainly wouldn’t talk to her), and agreed that she needed to go to the hospital. The point of all this is that the training I received certainly meant that I wouldn’t deal with this on my own. However, I knew of the resources that would immediately be able to help the student, despite the fact that it was the middle of the night. We were taught the signs of significant mental difficulties, and what to do if we encountered them. In our handbook on emergencies, there is a large section for psychological issues.</p>
<p>However, if the girl’s roommate’s parents had called anyone involved, we couldn’t tell them anything. We couldn’t contact her parents. It was one of the most painful things about the experience. I certainly needed my parents after dealing with it, but she didn’t want her’s. </p>
<p>On another note, my school enacted a policy this year that allows it to kick students out of university housing if they demonstrate obviously that they have a significant mental issue that they are not getting treatment for. This certainly helps with this situation.</p>
<p>While I agree wholeheartedly that the girl should be evaluated for serious mental problems, I would also add that I have a couple of mentally healthy ‘new age’ type friends who also insist they are visited by at night by aliens. Ever since the Whitley Streiber book about alien abduction came out there are many ‘normal’ people who have bought into the whole idea. So, is it possible this girl just has an over active imagination, and has watched one too many episodes of the x-files?</p>
<p>Update…Son called home tonight and told husband that a police officer tracked down his GF and told her to meet him in the library. He claimed to have some type of psych background and asked her questions about the roommate. GF said she is to contact him if there are any more problems. I guess they only viewed the recent levitation claim as a problem. GF supposedly told her mother and now her mother is worrried and following the situation. I’ll post again if I hear more.</p>
<p>Hope this means the gf and the son now realize there is some merit to his parent’s concern. If not, you could tell them that at the very least, son and his gf should be worried that the levitating roommate could be abducted by the aliens who keep visiting her. ;)</p>
<p>Sounds like the college and the police are at least looking into this, which is good. Hopefully someone is talking to the roommate in addition to the gf. And now that the gf’s mother knows about the situation, the majority of the responsibility for worrying about this is transferred from you to that mother. 
Hooray!</p>
<p>What happened?</p>