Roommate issues

I spent the past year in an off campus apartment with some very interesting roommates. I got a long with one but the other two have made my life terrible. They started off seeming just a little weird, but it quickly escalated from there. They began moving all my stuff, entering my room without warning, throwing my food out, and breaking my belongings. Each time they pretended to be absolutely clueless but apologized for my trouble. I knew they did these things because no one else had access to my stuff and I had to resort to venmo requesting every time they broke or threw out my things. Both of them completely gas lit me the whole time, but once I had proof of their misdoings, I told them it was ridiculous and they needed to respect my stuff and privacy. After stating this, one roommate began swearing at me and calling me every name in the book, followed by attacking any personal decision (saying its amazing I have friends because i am so unbearable). The other roommate began crying hysterically and said it was my fault. Moral of the story is, they were absolutely terrible, but I still have to live with them for two more months. I am not sure what to do, especially because they are not directly attacking me but rather making passive comments and tampering with my stuff behind my back. I have already looked into legal action, but they have not damaged enough stuff for it to be taken into consideration by the police. Any advice on how to deal with them?

If you can afford it, look for a sublet somewhere else for two months and move out. You will need to also pay the rent at your old place, but if you can swing it, it will be worth it.

I had to do this once and it really made a huge difference in my mental health. Pay your share of the rent directly to the landlord. It’s ok to let your landlord know you are moving out early. They won’t care as long as rent is paid.

If you absolutely have to live with them for two more months, buy a mini fridge and put a padlock on the door to your room.

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Contact the landlord and ask if a separate lock can be placed on the door to your room so that you are safe when in the apartment & your valuables are secure when you are not in the apartment.

Otherwise, take this as a learning experience regarding people in general and the importance of knowing & screening potential roommates in the future.

Situations like this show that the added cost of living in a single or one-bedroom unit are trivial when compared to one’s mental & emotional well-being.

Out of curiosity, how did you get placed with these roommates ? Is everyone the same sex ? Are the bullies older ?

P.S. If you fear for your personal safety, then contact your parents immediately & arrange to leave now.

Also, is your name on the lease ?

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Thank you for the advice! My roommates were matched with me by the apartment complex and they are both girls two years older. The apartment complex places each residents name on the lease.

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From what you’ve mentioned, sounds like this is a private landlord running a student apartment complex. If that is the case, it is likely that they’re pretty familiar with the issue of severe incompatibility issues with some of the shared apartments, particularly when they set up the shares.

Talk to the landlord, they may have a room available in another apartment.


Contact the landlord. See if 1) they can move you into another apartment in the building for the next two months or at least 2) put a lock on your bedroom door.

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@college1232: To state the obvious, we are all on your side. You need to inform your parents about this ongoing abuse & bullying.

With respect to dealing with the landlord, let it be known that you do not feel safe in this particular apartment & that many of your possessions have gone missing or have been destroyed. Do NOT accuse anyone unless you actually witnessed the act–even then better to not name names.