Roommate Life

Hi! I doubt anyone will see this but I thought I’d give it a shot.

As I graduate this year and enter college in the fall, there’s a few things on my mind.
One of which, is the living conditions at the schools I’ve applied to.

I’m a gay guy, and while a lot of colleges DO offer special housing that’s gender-blind, I really don’t want to alter the “typical” college experience and it wouldn’t kill me to make a few guy friends outside of my existing friend group.

However, it’s so hard to find articles and testimonies of gay students, or people who have roomed with gay students.

Overall, my question is- does anyone know if it’s going to be excruciatingly hard to find a roommate because I’m gay? I really don’t want to live the first year of college having to worry about being myself because I am very open about it.

In case anyone knows specifics, here are the schools I’ve applied to:

-UC Santa Barbara
-UC Davis
-UC Berkeley
-University of San Francisco [Accepted]
-San Francisco State [Accepted]
-Seattle University [Accepted]
-University of Washington (Seattle)
-Arizona State (Tempe) [Accepted]
-University of Miami [Accepted]
-University of Maryland College Park [Acc.]
-American University
-Georgetown University [Deferred]
-Drexel University [Accepted]
-University of Pennsylvania
-Brandeis University

@Gumbymom, Do you know anything about the UCs and gender-blind housing?

@austinmshauri: All the California UC’s offer gender neutral housing. I have no specifics but you can check each schools housing website, there should be more information.

Link for UCB:

My daughter isn’t at a school on your list but even in a pretty conservative, midwest state, students are super open and accepting. Be a considerate and nice roommate. I would hope a roommate will not care about anything else.

Hopefully you’ll get some specific answers about your schools but I wish you a great year ahead no matter where you land!

@Gumbymom thank you for the info, I am well informed about the gender neutral housing options at each of my schools but I would like to live the classical college experience. Definitely a backup though!

It’s not that difficult to find a roommate. From my expierence at UC Santa Barbara, I I dormed with a LGBTQ student (I’m a girl , my roommate identified as a male) and I made an awesome friendship. Everyone is open to meeting new people with different backgrounds, so you shouldn’t struggle with finding a roommate.

For UCSB, you don’t really get to “choose” your roommates unless you already have a group. During the room assignment process , you can see what rooms and beds are available and if you click on the beds that are already reserved, a short description of that person pops up. That description is just their name and responses from a survey they took.
Race/Ethnicity, Religion and Gender/LGBTQ status are not shown in the descriptions.

…so I had no idea my roommate was transgender. I honestly was surprised at first, but I didn’t really care. I was open minded and friendly with him. In the end we became awesome friends. Well at UCSB, people are really genuinely nice and lay back.

I also had a gay friend who went to UCLA and dormed with a straight guy. From what he told me, they got along pretty well. They’re not friends though and not because he’s gay, they just didn’t have the same interests and likings.

Hope I helped :slight_smile:

happy to answer any questions

Most schools give students the opportunity to find their own roommate via FB pages. This could be your place to express that you’d like to live in traditional housing but IMHO, it would be best to share that you happen to be gay. Because you are open about it, it is fair for any potential roommates to know and to avoid any potential problems. I think you have to respect that some straight guys might not care to live with a gay guy. Some people are fine with it but just don’t want to live with it. Others might not care at all.

I think as you seek a roommate, if you share the things that make you you and a great roommate, that would be the best approach. Sexuality is only one part of each person and sometimes I think we overemphasize that in our culture right now. Most people don’t care what others do behind closed doors. But given that this is a living situation you are right to give it a little extra thought. Good luck! It will all work out.