Roommate problems

<p>I'm living with a girl I met through my college's roommate finder website. She's a grad student & is about 15 years older than me. We've been living together for a couple months now, and it has been going ok. I mostly keep to myself and stay in my room unless I'm cooking or doing laundry, but I'm always polite even though I don't particularly like her. I guess I liked her ok at first, but little things she does really annoy me. </p>

<p>For instance, she's a smoker- she never told me this before moving in, I had to find out afterwards. I don't really have a problem with it because she smokes outside, but she lets a lot of bugs in (which she never takes care of) from going out in and out all day. I asked her to check for bugs before coming in because I have to stay up all night killing them- she said she would, but there are still lots of bugs coming in. </p>

<p>She also has a long distance boyfriend who lived with us the first 2 weeks after she moved in. I didn't mind much, but he has since come to visit at least 5 times over the year and basically lived in the kitchen all day, every day, for the 9 days he visited. She never asked me if it was ok, she just told me 'oh by the way, my boyfriend's coming into town tomorrow and staying the week. he'll be working from home so he'll basically be sitting in the kitchen all day.' </p>

<p>There's other problems too. She skypes with him almost every night. I don't care at all, except she does it right on the kitchen table (the middle of the apt) and stays in there talking all night. I don't know why she doesn't just go to her room to do it. I feel weird going out there for water or food, like I'm interrupting. Also, I feel like I can never use the kitchen table (which I bought) because it's right by her living area (her bathroom and bedroom is right next to it). Most of the time I eat in my room but I would much rather make use of my own table. </p>

<p>The real issue is, in the winter, she turned on the heat a lot. I understood because it got kinda cold here, but she left it running all day and night whether she was home or not. That was ok with me, but sometimes it got too hot and I had to turn on my fan or open my window to cool down. She offered to use a mini heater in her room, which I agreed to, but she never actually installed it. Ok, whatever. I didn't complain. But now she always complains when I turn on the a/c! One time it was literally on for 5 minutes and she came out of the bathroom and said 'wow, it's cold in here!' I said 'I literally just turned on the a/c a minute ago' and she was just like 'It's freezing in here! Aren't you cold?' Obviously I was not cold, which is why I turned on the a/c. I said 'i guess it's a little cooler in here than it was a minute ago. if it's really bothering you, you can turn it off' and she immediately went to turn it off. Isn't that unreasonable? I never did this when she turned the heat on in the winter. </p>

<p>I have started turning on the a/c when she's not home because I hate being in a hot house (the temps have gotten to 80-90 degrees here) but now she's complaining about the electric bill- which is funny because it's way lower than it was in the winter! I feel dishonest doing this but what else can I do? I specifically chose this apartment building because it has central a/c. </p>

<p>We only have 2.5 more months of the contract before we both move out.. but it's already summer and I am getting more and more frustrated with her. I don't think I'm an unreasonable roommate. I am always polite and try not to complain.. but I don't want her to treat me like a pushover and take advantage me, which I think she is doing. What should I do?</p>

<p>The only thing you can do is ask her to compromise on the issues you’ve addressed here, keep it civil and count down the next 75 days. Chalk it up to a lesson learned and try to ask more questions next time. Some colleges have living arrangement contracts for roommates which they agree on and sign at the beginning of the semester. If you can find one, it might give you some questions to think about asking for the next roommate. It is hard to know what to ask sometimes. I do think she is taking advantage of you. She has 15 years more experience on you, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Good luck!</p>