I currently live in a suite with three other roommates. They unfortunately don’t like some of my requests. I’ve explicitly told them multiple times that NO–I don’t want them smoking weed in our suite, and NO–I don’t want them sneaking in a dog. I’m highly allergic to furry animals :’(
I’ve ambiguously talked about these issues with my RA and they’re completely on my side (or so they claim to be). However, my roommates say that the RA will probably do nothing–that the RA would probably even support them or just look the other way. Additionally, my roommates are claiming they’re willing to plot against me to get rid of me: I have mental health issues so they can claim that they’re afraid of my emotional instability to have me forcefully relocated to a different room, or they’re willing to plant drugs in my room and frame me, and such. Or they’d just do it when I’m not there. Personally, I don’t think the primary will work–rather, the solution the RA would offer is for them to switch rooms. I have not discussed my roommates plotting against me with the RA yet, but I will immediately upon approval for a meeting.
When I went to talk with the RA, I discussed what to do about the drugs/weed issue. If one of them gets caught, everyone physically in the suite at the time gets in trouble. My RA’s suggestion would be to do one of the following: immediately leave the suite and either contact campus police anonymously, or inform a(nother) RA to “coincidentally” pass by and notice it. The latter option has a few problems: the RA is at the mercy of whether or not someone opens the door if they suspect something. The former has its own problems: my roommates are definitely going to know it was me who turned them in if the police come by…
I can live with my roommates otherwise. It’s just they’re highly irresponsible. This used to be a 2 vs. 2 battle, but the newer roommates have pressured my favorite antidrug roommate into doing several different drugs and now they’re all against me. So, without having to move to another suite, what are my options? I could totally bust my roommates and they’d be forced to move out, but again I’d need to find some way to explain how the police came by without me calling them.
Your RA should have taken this issue to the hall director when you first informed her of it. Smoking weed is against hall rules (and probably the law depending on where your school is and if it’s a public university or not). Since she hasn’t taken that step, you need to contact the hall director. If they’re not responsive, do take it to the police; again, it’s illegal most places.
As far as them “plotting” against you, continue with your plan to tell your RA and escalate to the hall director if they don’t step in. If the RA does support them as they claim will happen, report her too. It seems weird that YOUR RA won’t just be the one to “coincidentally” come across them smoking… That’s their job. RAs aren’t there to be your friends, they’re there to create a safe environment. Good luck, this sounds like an awful situation.
Sounds like you should request a move, and soon. Get your parents involved if necessary. You don’t want to risk drug consequences by proximity. Do it now.
You are the one who is requesting a move so it’ll probably be you who has to relocate.
If you are on medication marijuana would not be good for you. It increases anxiety in some users. There are no studies I am aware of that address second hand marijuana smoke.
You need to go above the RA’s head. He or she is little more than a peer and apparently the RA doesn’t take your problem seriously.
If you can “bust your roommates” and “they’d be forced to move out,” why do you care if they know it was you or not? You’ll never see them again, and they aren’t your friends.
And why are you so against moving out? It sounds like you are in a bad situation with roommates who are unwilling to change their ways. This isn’t a roommate situation where you can compromise. Their behavior could get you in serious trouble. So you’re options seem to be to report them (and escalate beyond the RA if they do nothing to address this), talk to them to see if they will stop (which you’ve tried and they apparently won’t), or move out. If you don’t want to report them, then see what you have to do to get a room change.
OK, I remember your last thread, too. The advice here is sound. You need to move out. That thread + this one: you and your roommates do not have complimentary personalities, and if they are legit engaging in something illegal with which you are uncomfortable, you need to get out. If what you say is true, re: the roommates threatening to “frame” you (my guess is they are trying to force you to move out, btw–that’s a classic passive aggressive tactic) and/or sneaking in a dog and/or engaging in illegal behavior, the good news is you have terrific leverage to get yourself moved into a single, which given your preference for a clean apartment would be optimal. Go to the hall director if your RA hasn’t done anything, and get out of that suite.
If you dont like your roommates and i understand why, you should request to be moved. Turning them in may have undesirable consequences for you. People may turn against you so you have to consider that.
If this is your last semester or even if it isn’t you need to get out of there. Report the issues and move to a single if you have to. Did you make friends last year, did you request to be roomed with them or was this a random assignment?
It was a fixed-random assignment. That means that I liked one of the roommates in this particular suite and so I opted to be in that same room. However, there were two remaining spaces that were randomly assigned.
I absolutely loved my roommates last year. They were pretty cool.
For the most part, I’ve learned that the RA is completely useless. It wouldn’t surprise me if all of my documented requests have gone in the trash to say the least. I almost never hear anything back about what I submit. When I went to the RA to ask for help the week I was feeling incredibly suicidal, I didn’t hear back about it until maybe two weeks later.
My roommates say that the RA has seen them with obvious hall violations (the dog, cases of beer, etc.), and they’ve never gotten in trouble or talked to about it. I’m not so much concerned about the beer in the room since all but one of us are 21+, but still–it’s a violation we can get written up and fined for, even if we’re 21. I don’t know about you, but that money used on the fine could probably go to something more productive. Just sayin’.
Of course, when I sent a teeny little e-mail to the residence hall coordinator, something was done that same day within a few hours. So now the dog is gone, but it’s not even ours/my roommate’s. My roommates would babysit for a few days at a time, so the dog wasn’t permanently here, but still here quite a few days of the week every week. All they had to do was take it back to the owner when the RHC said they needed to get rid of it. So… it’ll be back. Very soon.
I guess the part I’m most upset about is the RA not doing anything. I don’t expect you to do something if it goes against your religion, beliefs, what you stand for, etc., but if I ask you to do something and you don’t want to do it, then at least let me know you’re not going to do it for whatever the reason–that way I can either find someone else to assist me or arrange for another solution.
Use this as a life lesson. Many situations you will have in life have a heirarchy of people to deal with. So if RA is not useful, go to hall director. If they are not helpful, go the housing office.
just like if you were in a store, if the cashier is not helpful, you go to the manager.
Don’t listen to your roommates…obviously they are happy with the status quo.
At this point I think I would go to the housing office and say that you need a room change…they are bring a dog in on a regular basis and you are allergic. Also that you think you have smelled marijuana and don’t want anything to do with being in a room where that is done. You are also worried about retaliation so would just like to be in a differnet room.