Oh, boy, I love it when “old” posts come back. Since my post no. 9, ds2 has gotten back together with the second girl and broken up again! lol
(((hugs))), Debrako.
I can totally relate. My son had a girlfriend from literally halfway around the world. We were crazy about her and had a fair amount invested in her, both emotionally and financially. I really didn’t expect it to work out, but when my son commits to something he doesn’t let go easily, so I thought there was a chance. I miss her a lot.
I watched a close friend’s D date someone from 10th grade to junior year in college before breaking up with him. Their families were so entwined that the relationship lasted much longer that it would have normally. My friend was devastated and crushed, but it was best for her D to make the break and move on.
For my kids, I am warm and friendly to their new SOs, willing to meet the other parents if they want, but that’s as far as I go.
@dentmom4, I plan to be more like you as we move forward. I’ve heard from many moms that they feel like they suffer more than their child.
How opportune to see this thread resurrected! S and the “new” GF have decided to move in together, halfway between his job and her new one. They were here for Labor Day weekend, and we had a great time. (We spent a couple days with them earlier in the year.) As S predicted, I really like this young woman. In fact, she and I share major interest in cooking and literature, and opinions on a range of issues, from Anomalisa to wall-to-wall carpeting. B-) It is clear that they are extremely well-suited to one another.
But he still hasn’t returned the damned tea cups! 
Both my 16 yo and 17 yo daughters are dating really great guys. I think that as long as they’re making good choices with regards to partners, that if/when they break up, then it’s a learning experience and I’ll be good with the next ones, because I’m assuming they’ll keep making good choices.
The funniest thing is one of my friends and I plot hilariously complex ideas to set her son up with my oldest daughter some day in college, because we’d enjoy being related so much .
I just don’t know how any of you can stay unattached to your kid’s b/g-friend! Believe me, I tried…and failed.
I let my 16 yo D hang out at her bf’s place, have dinner and outings with his family, etc. They never hang out here! I do occasionally see him at sports events (they are teammates). But I’ve never said more than two sentences to him.
But I made a mistake a couple months ago – I let D bring him on a daytrip w us. I discovered that he isn’t as alpha and ruthless as I thought he was (because of the way he pursued D and dealt with her other “admirers”). Ok, he is… but he is also surprisingly thoughtful and articulate, and adorably boyish!
Now I know, when they break up, I’ll be crushed. :(( :((