<p>My D, who’s perfectly happy with her EC’s (not many, but she’s got some unique creative projects), wants to organize a voter registration drive at school because so many of the seniors will be 18 before the primary in our state. She suggested this to her friend because he’s class pres, and she figured he would be able to help her get the idea in motion. He turned around and went to one of their teachers with “his” great idea to start a voter registration drive–“and I can put it on my college application!”</p>
<p>She feels betrayed because he is claiming the idea as his own. She’s fine with making sure it happens–that’s the whole point–but it’s rather shocking to her to see how his focus on college apps comes before their friendship.</p>
<p>I hope you’ll encourage D to say to friend “Wow, I feel like the voter registration drive was my concept and I did want some help with it but now I am feeling that you are taking over. Do you feel you are treating me fairly here?”</p>
<p>The reason that she needs to do this step is that some folks are truly gung-ho and do not take time to think about things like “credit due” or “Thanks” or “inspired by”. The friend’s response will be very insightful. He may be deeply embarrassed – or totally snotty — or any number of other things. </p>
<p>Until your D firmly (but in a reasonable way) states her position, she won’t know exactly what the Pres is thinking. It’s important to be reasonable – because it is possible that Pres wasn’t thinking and wants to rectify the situation. Too much drama and screaming would make that impossible. </p>
<p>High school makes us all a bit nuts. And D’s timely, firm but reasonable stand may help the young man rethink his value set and come out the other end as a better human being. It is possible and she should see if she can make that unfold.</p>
<p>She can still put it on her college application, as in, “jointly organized and originated voter registration drive with class president and advisor.”</p>
<p>This is appalling. Taking someone else’s idea as your own is tantamount to plagiarism. He should take credit for organization and implementing if that is what he did, but not for the inspiration if he borrowed it from someone else. It is a common failing in several senses of the word, and I would hope that class prez would have more class, or grace, than to claim credit which he does not deserve. There is a certain ruthlessness to aggrandizing to oneself the spark offered by others without attribution that is a scary trait. </p>
<p>Of course, if it just a “misunderstanding” that is easily rectified, then all is well, but if not, then villainy is afoot even if manifested on a minor high school project. Small gestures both positive and negative can be quite revealing of character.</p>
<p>As I said in the original post, she doesn’t care at all about the “Extracurricular” aspect (her common app is complete). It’s more about getting respect for having a good idea–and as bogney said, he took credit for her idea, even if only she, the pres, and the teacher are aware. Maybe it is, as david says, just high school drama. ESPECIALLY because it happened right before Rosh Hashanah, she doesn’t want to make a big deal about it–but on the other hand, she doesn’t trust him anymore. And that’s a real shame.</p>
<p>Just on CC I’ll say that the kid must really be insecure if–even with being a class officer for 3 years; being all-state for track and cross country; and making Principal’s List junior year–he still feels like he needs EC’s. The teacher actually told him he can’t put it on his EC list anyway, so basically, all that’s happened thus far is that he’s hurt D’s feelings. </p>
<p>She’s a little too upset right now to confront him, as Olymom recommends–I’m sure when all the Common App smoke has risen for him, he’d be ready to hear that he burned a friend for the sake of one line on a long resume. I hope things will get patched up before that.</p>
<p>Our primary is in the late Spring. In the end, I know that she will make sure the drive takes place, which was THE POINT IN THE FIRST PLACE…and yes, shrinkrap, maybe it’s time that she learns to run with her ideas herself.</p>
<p>Maybe the kid thought she was telling him so that HE would do it, being class prez and all. I wouldn’t write the kid off/condemn him for what might be a simple misunderstanding.</p>
<p>She should speak to him, for sure. It’s uncomfortable, yes, but there is a lifetime ahead that will be filled with misunderstandings and this is a golden opportunity to learn to deal with them, to listen, and to stick up for yourself if necessary. It may be that through resolving this they become better friends-- and if he acts badly, at least she’ll know she made the appropriate effort to learn from this.</p>
<p>You might want to watch last night’s episode of “Community.” It deals with this very topic. (Not that I’d recommend your daughter take the same approach as the characters on this irreverent TV show.)</p>
<p>I agree that misunderstandings happen easily and innocent mistakes are easily misinterpreted. If this was merely a mistake, then it should be easily resolved. If it was a mistake, the class prez presumably would be mortified to learn that he has wounded a friend because he misunderstood what she told him. Language is a slippery thing especially among high school students who do not always speak or write with clarity and purpose, but text and talk quite informally. </p>
<p>On the other hand, there are those who hear what they want to hear because it suits their purposes. Anyone have teenagers who don’t quite manage to “hear” what you have clearly told them? </p>
<p>I am taking the initial post at face value. If he knowingly, or even carelessly, took someone else’s idea as his own to further build a college application, that is reptilian behavior.</p>
<p>But it does not matter whose idea it was. If they both can work on this project, they both can report it.<br>
However, she should tell the teacher something like: " I am glad that to hear that you like my idea about…, I thought that I should share my idea with class president, I am very happy that I did! Looking forward to make it happen!!" This will sound very informative, positive, will show great intentions and should not create obstacles for the project itself.</p>
<p>I see no reason why they can’t work together and both put it on their college applications. Who has their Common App set in stone in September? I like MiamiDAP’s idea if she’s uncomfortable talking to her friend. But I think she should just talk to him in a non-confrontational way which makes it clear she is assuming it’s a joint project. She may as well find out sooner rather than later whether he’s a real friend.</p>
<p>My D. had way too much on her plate at the time she needed to apply. Would be enough for several applicants. The same had happened at college, her advisors thought she had insane number of EC’s. She continue having them while in Med. School. She feels that other stuff helps her in academics. So far it has, remain to be seen at Med. School.</p>
<p>In the sense of accomplishing a particular goal, I agree that it does not matter whose idea started the process. If that were the only issue, there would be no discussion, but the O.P. indicates that the young man took personal credit for an idea that he did not come up with. It is galling for one person to take credit for another person’s idea without attribution. In some contexts, there are laws against doing just that. I take great pains to credit those I work with for their contributions or ideas, and not just incorporate them as my ideas if they are not. Over the years, I have worked with and for people who are not so careful and those slights sting at times. Those who share the credit enlarge themselves in the process. Those who steal the credit enlarge themselves at other’s expense, and are diminished in the eyes of those who know where the credit truly belongs.</p>
<p>^This young man will get punished at some point of his life, I have no doubt about it. We are always our worst enemies and our best friends. He is ruinning his reputation by this type of actions. It will backfire in a big way in his future. I would not focus too much on teaching him a lesson, he will be taught in much more severe way later on. I would just let techer know by “accidently” mentionning the truth in unasuming way and proceed with the project. It will have a great chance to be successful if it is supported by class president. This way a girl will feel that she is actually manipulates him, not the other way around. Great way to put yourself back into control and feel to “outsmart” the “smarty pants”.</p>