Sad to say I have given up

<p>I have posted several times on this forum but tonight I post because it will be the last post about my daughter. I can't even discuss what has happened but it is the sadest realization and I am still shaking. Today we had to make the long and hard decision that we could no longer do a thing to help our daughter. I always had faith that she would somehow make it out from all of this but now it is clear that she is really gone. I actually feel like a death has occured and all I could do is mourn what will never be. We did our best and tried everything, but our daughters mental illness has taken over, and now it is out of our hands. I am so empty right now and still in a state of shock. I just can't believe with all of our blessings we have had so much sadness. I don't know how to even deal with this and I am in a fog. I don't even know why I am posting this...I guess I must need to see my own words to even believe that we have lost her.</p>

<p>From the sounds of it your denial must have ended.</p>

<p>I am sorry you have to go through this, but sometimes there is simply nothing you can do to help your child. You just have to let go now. Hopefully she will find a way out of her darkness at some point. You will need to mourn and let go. It is so sad.</p>

<p>I'm so sorry this has happened and that your daughter has continued on this path of destruction. You have done many things right but sadly you can't make your daughter choose wisely. </p>

<p>Just here, being sad with you.</p>

<p>I am sorry that you are hurting. I don't know in what way you lost her, but remain hopeful that things can turn around one day and it is not forever. I hope you all can reconcile in some fashion. It may be a torn relationship as well as a dire time for your daughter, but keep hope alive that with time, things may improve. </p>

<p>I am sorry for you during this dark hour. </p>

<p>I hope you can find support through a counselor for yourself in dealing with a difficult situation as a parent.</p>

<p>Remember, too, that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, even though as a parent, it is hard to watch or let go. But your daughter, in addition to her issues, may still be at the rebellious stage of life, and be so unwilling to have you help and may have to tough it out on her own and learn the hard way and grow up more.</p>

<p>I've read your posts about your daughter and I know that you have tried everything to help her. I'm very, very sorry that things have taken a turn for the worse, and you and your family are in my prayers. Please know that you are not alone and although you feel hopeless now, none of us know what the future will bring. Hold onto a glimmer of hope that someday she will will return to you on her own and because she knows how much you will always love her.</p>

<p>Losing a child, whether to death, drugs, alcohol or mental illness, is always painful. Sorry. Stay strong for your husband and sons.</p>

<p>Jym...Oh my God...My son is out of the country and I don't even know what to say to him. We talk at least once a week and he will call home on Sunday. He will ask about his sister but this news will be so very hard to hear especially when he is so far from home and alone. There is nothing he could do from where he is but he has a right to know what is going on. As you might recall he had spent the night before he left looking for her, and could not find her to say goodbye. He left with a bad feeling and feared that he might never have the chance to see her again. I guess he sensed that he lost his sister forever when she did'nt even say goodbye or respond to a phone call. Today was the sadest day ever. There are just no words to describe this unbearable pain and I don't know now to live with this.</p>

<p>So sorry to hear of your sadness and pain, momma-three but you and your family will get through this. You and your son are stronger than you know. All you can do is take it day by day until it doesn't hurt quite so much. Be gentle and good to yourself.</p>

<p>There is nothing anyone can say that will truly acknowledge how deep your pain is but I will say three things:</p>

<p>There are people here who are feeling some of that pain for you and sharing in your sadness because we are parents too and there are never any guarantees for any of us.</p>

<p>You will not always feel this badly. As hard as it is to believe, a day will come when you will feel a little better.</p>

<p>You are, I'm sure doing the most loving thing, not only for yourselves for for your daughter, as well.</p>

<p>Bless your heart, momma-three.</p>

<p>You can continue to love her even as you need to withdraw.</p>

<p>I am so very sorry to hear this. I hope you are somehow able to get some support for yourself. I pray that your daughter finds her bottom and starts to crawl upward on her own. You are right, there is nothing left for you to do. Please take care of yourself.</p>

<p>so sorry momma-three!</p>

<p>So sorry momma-three. From experienice, stay open but firm in your beliefs to accept her if and when she is ready to return. It may be a few months, or it may be a few years, or even longer. But do find help for yourself and your family to accept what had to be because of the behavior while still loving the person. S1 dropped out of our life for 6 months with no contact including over the holidays Thanksgiving and Christmas. But he was able to get help when he decided to and is now OK. We could only help him once he started on the path to help himself. But when he made the move, we could support his efforts.</p>

<p>Momma, you have my deepest sympathies. Losing a child this way must be the saddest, loneliest feeling in the world. As you look back, please don't second guess any of your decisions or efforts to help her. Nobody is a perfect parent, and anything you may done differently wouldn't have made a difference in the outcome. Don't blame yourself.</p>

<p>I'm so sorry, momma-three :(</p>

<p>momma-three, I don't know if anything specific happened in the last day or so to make you give up, or if this is the culmination of many events. Regardless, sometimes giving up and stepping back is all we can do. Of course you want to take care of your child but when the child won't let you, you need to step back and take care of yourself.</p>

<p>Hugs to you momma-three</p>

<p>I am very sad and sorry. Being a mom to a D I cannot tell you how much it pains to know what you are going through. Prayers for both you and your daughter and your family too. May God give you strength. </p>

<p>I do not know if this is appropriate, i apologise if it is not. But maybe your giving up might get a message across and there might be a turnaround. I truly do hope things will be better. You take care.</p>

<p>Hugs to you momma-three.</p>