<p>agreed 100% with Benley!!!</p>
<p>“Choate is Ok for a second tier prep school”</p>
<p>spoken by a St. Paul/Harvard man, who worked for me. I just love that quote. I didn’t know about the four 1st tier preps!</p>
<p>it does seem like there is one thing people agree upon here: that better is better</p>
<p>what is better is another thing all together</p>
<p>
How to deal with elite prep school snobs ;)</p>
<p>jym#260: That is a hilarious list. Thanks for providing comic relief on an already very comical thread. I am so glad everyone ignored collegeshopping’s suggestion that we let this thread die. We really should keep it going for a while. The risk of course is that it gets locked by the mods or moved over to the Cafe.</p>
<p>Too bad most of those stories are, well, just stories.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin05.asp[/url]”>http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin05.asp</a></p>
<p>Benley, in the interest of fairness, can we agree that I am the best but that the situation is otherwise muddled? Please, I have met you half way.</p>
<p>Ah, boarding school. </p>
<p>My S had assigned chores at home daily during the week and on weekends that he had to balance with studies, ECs and his personal life. He did not get to pick the chores, nor did it matter if the time commitment exceeded any pre-supposed amount. </p>
<p>From the Phillips Academy website</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This is not “better.”</p>
<p>Curfew at boarding schools do not prepare one better for making appropriate choices in regard to rest that arise throughout one’s life. Heck even the Phillips students saw a 9:30 curfew to the dorms as not developing good judgment.
[On</a> the Proposed Curfew | Editorial | The Phillipian](<a href=“http://phillipian.net/article/7773]On”>Article: Antonio Pulgarin Speaks to Toxic Masculinity, LGBTQ+ Rights, and Latinx Issues in New Exhibition “Whispers of a Caballero.” – The Phillipian)</p>
<p>CC certainly has been an education in opening my eyes to the kinds of thinking in other communities, that’s for sure. I don’t know why anyone cares about prep school rankings or college rankings. Why does it matter where your kids’ schools rank? If your child was happy and got a good education and is successful in life, doesn’t any of that rest matter? Why is there an emphasis on better and best? For me the best is that my kids got to go to colleges that they loved and thrived at. </p>
<p>I think prep and boarding schools sound like wonderful experiences. Not everyone can afford them. It is not as if there is a choice for the majority of people. </p>
<p>I don’t get the attitude of “my kid can’t be on the playground with the low socio-economic kids who have lower IQ’s,” as I am GLAD my kids knew kids in the trailer park who never went off to college. They have a good perspective and have not led insular lives. </p>
<p>I don’t get that “kids in my kind of school are smarter and more mature” than kids in your school. How smart can you be if you make such generalizations?? I’ve met brilliant and mature kids from all kinds of high schools and backgrounds. This is fact, and not an opinion. The other is an opinion, not fact.</p>
<p>And where else but on CC can I learn phrases like “hobknob with snobs” or “HYPSM” (never heard that acronym before CC) or “lower Ivies” (never heard of that 'til CC either)…and so on. :)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Because occasionally an inept personal assistant (from a 2nd tier prep and non-Ivy college) will fail to get one a first class airplane ticket sufficiently in advance or, the airline stoops to moving a coach passenger into the first class cabin.</p>
<p><<nychomie, i=“” don’t=“” think=“” anyone=“” is=“” arguing=“” whether=“” or=“” not=“” elite=“” prep=“” boarding=“” schools=“” are=“” better=“” than=“” public=“” schools.=“” in=“” fact,=“” feel=“” certain=“” they=“” my=“” kids’=“” rural=“” school.=“” the=“” issue=“” (and=“” you=“” do=“” see=“” it)=“” an=“” attitude,=“” facts,=“” that=“” demonstrate…the=“” attitude=“” elitist.=“”>></nychomie,></p>
<p>Exactly. No one is arguing that prep schools (in many, but not certainly all cases) offer better academic environments than your average high school. That’s a “given” - based on the selectivity of the admissions process, the financial resources that the schools have, and the wealth of the families that send their children to these schools. </p>
<p>But the POINT that I have been trying to get across to nychomie - one that he seems completely incapable of comprehending - is that NO ONE is impressed by an elitist ATTITUDE. And that’s what he has exhibited here. </p>
<p>I have placed hundreds of graduate students in administrative internships. And every year, I had at least one “dismissed” (nice term for fired) a month or two later.<br>
These students were smart.
These students had good/outstanding educational backgrounds.<br>
These students were very capable.<br>
But - they were FIRED because of their attitudes in the work place! Plain and simple.</p>
<p>My husband is in charge of mentoring/supervising/training several young, relatively new employees. He has 2 people from Texas schools with MS degrees. They are capable, enthusiastic, and soaking up as much wisdom and knowledge from the “old gray hairs” as they can. They know they have a lot to learn and are willing and eager to do so. On the other hand, he has just “transferred” (nice term for booting from his team) a PhD from a top (next to ivy status) school. Why? Because this 27 year old felt his opinions - based on his academic credentials - should carry more weight than someone with a mere MS degree…even if the “someone” has over 30 years of experience. This young man’s arrogance (which he referred to as “confidence”) resulted in a 4 month delay in a project because he decided to do things HIS way, rather than follow the instructions given to him. He cost the company millions of dollars in time lost. In my opinion, he should be incredibly grateful that he still has a job. In the mean time, the 2 lowly MS folks from Texas schools have worked hard, honed their skills, shown their work to the higher-ups, and have been promoted to a level higher than the PhD guy. They have a career ahead of them. The PhD guy does not.</p>
<p>If I were in nychomie’s shoes - I would take the comments made here by anonymous (experienced) adults on a message board as a serious wake-up call. He should be glad that we are not prospective employers.</p>
<p>Attitude. It matters.</p>
<p><<why can’t=“” everyone=“” just=“” leave=“” this=“” thread=“” and=“” go=“” back=“” to=“” their=“” own=“” world,=“”>></why></p>
<p>LOL! It’s a lot like watching a bad movie. You know it’s stupid, but you just can’t help watching to see how far (into “stupidom”) it will go!</p>
<p>Grcxx3, what’s making this thread “stupid” is the lack of insight coming from people who do nothing but name-call without any basis.</p>
<p>If you think similarly about colleges, that the average HYP student is not more mature, leader-like, and more intelligent than the average student at an average college, you are living in your own world. Go ahead and convince yourself of that though if it makes you feel better, but these differences won’t go away.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Sure, at my elite prep school:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>I met kids from all walks of life, including tons of kids from the ghettoes of NYC, Chicago, LA, Detroit as well as kids who escaped war-torn countries, came from rural areas all over the US, and poor people from developing countries. In addition, I gained exposure to the upper class of American society. When you have so much perspectives represented, everybody gets an education BEYOND what their local HS could give them.</p></li>
<li><p>I worked all throughout HS and am now working in college because my parents restrict my allowance. So I get the benefit of having to work for my money despite being in privileged environments.</p></li>
<li><p>I devote a significant amount of my time at off-campus sites, helping the underprivileged. Sure, I could have does this at a regular HS, but my prep school and college have been extremely generous in giving me HUGE HUGE funding right away to start up initiatives and make a difference in the life of hundreds of people. That was a tremendous advantage.</p></li>
<li><p>Living away from home in HS and being surrounded by such intelligent peers from diverse backgrounds have enriched my perspective and made me more mature than I otherwise would have been had I stayed at my local HS or <em>gasp</em> enrolled at a regular HS (my local HS is not a regular HS in that it’s in a wealthy suburb).</p></li>
<li><p>Learning to compete with the best of the best empowers you to change society for the better. And when you need to make something happen, you can CHOOSE to utilize the connections and resources available to you. At a regular HS, you would not have as many options, if any.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Attitude? Being at an elite prep school has done nothing but humbled me due to my exposure to a greater variety of perspectives. A regular HS couldn’t have given me that. It’s a false assumption that I derived my “attitude” from the elite schools I attended. At the regular schools I volunteer at, people exhibit WORSE attitudes, often based on superficial traits like brand-name clothing (ironically enough-- you will NOT find this as much at elite prep schools and elite colleges), looks (and solely looks), popularity, etc. Don’t kid yourself thinking regular high schools have angelic kids-- they are often MUCH WORSE in terms of the “attitude” problems you’re talking about.</p>
<p>NYchomie- I’m sure you are a nice, kind, smart person in real life. But your comments on this thread indicate that you are lacking in “Emotional Intelligence” and you are smart enough so that I don’t need to tell you what that is.</p>
<p>Please demonstrate to all of us that you are not totally lacking in empathy or the ability to read other people, by turning off your computer and engaging in real life for a while. You can even come back in 6 months and let us know how it’s going. But before someone here figures out who you are in real life (and trust me, it’s not so hard) and asks Health Services to stage an intervention for you- please do it voluntarily.</p>
<p>You may run for Congress in 15 years, or may have an interview at Goldman Sachs or Facebook or Bain next year. And your interviewer may recognize you from your posts. And that would be very sad. Because then despite coming from a wealthy suburb and having had every material advantage in life, your interviewer will realize that you are devoid of emotional intelligence, which in both the political sphere and the corporate realm, are highly prized.</p>
<p>I’m sure you are a great kid who makes your parents proud every single day. So go take advantage of all the fantastic opportunities that are right outside your dorm room and LOG OFF THE COMPUTER. It is a waste of the tremendous investment your parents have made in you that you are debating with a bunch of middle aged parents instead of meeting and debating and laughing with your peers over a pizza. GO LOG OFF NOW BEFORE YOUR FRIENDS RECOGNIZE WHO YOU ARE. I am a mother, and i know what I’m talking about.</p>
<p>^ Great post, blossom, and it is very kind of you to say all that.</p>
<p>I deal with a lot of athletes currently at HYPS (not M) Cal, Michigan, WashU, UCLA, USC, and Brown…all same sport.</p>
<p>All good kids!</p>
<p>Based on a few years of observations I’d have to say the private college kids are more mature,have better all around behavior and are more serious about their responsibilities. And no huge differences, but clearly a difference in behavior. And I think the institutions they attend, in part, shape those behaviors.</p>
<p>for instance I saw a team from a public school that had just lost, take a gift from a winning team (a long tradition at this event…think pin gifts and such). And then the public school team made a show of destroying the gift in front of the private school team who had just given them the gift.</p>
<p>That’s bad behavior, that’s immature. I see a lot more of that kind of thing from the publics than the privates.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing (but not with such eloquent phrasing). I don’t really find homie as annoying as some here seem to, but for the life of me I cannot imagine having spent even one minute arguing the merits of prep school with a bunch of old coots when I was in college.</p>
<p>Now I’m bored and old, so it is fun participating in endless debates that go nowhere. But at 19? No way.</p>
<p>Of course, all this assumes homie is a college student. If he’s just another codger like me, then carry on.</p>
<p><<grcxx3, what’s=“” making=“” this=“” thread=“” “stupid”=“” is=“” the=“” lack=“” of=“” insight=“” coming=“” from=“” people=“” who=“” do=“” nothing=“” but=“” name-call=“” without=“” any=“” basis.=“”>></grcxx3,></p>
<p>If you think similarly about colleges, that the average HYP student is not more mature, leader-like, and more intelligent than the average student at an average college, you are living in your own world. Go ahead and convince yourself of that though if it makes you feel better, but these differences won’t go away. >></p>
<p>You just don’t get it. It’s NOT ABOUT intelligence, leadership, and maturity. It’s about the ATTITUDE that you convey to others. And yours, sadly, needs some work. Not name-calling. Just the simple truth.</p>
<p>Excellent post, blossom. Thank you.</p>
<p>pacheight…well. now you are talking about kids who attend private COLLEGES, not prep schools. And guess what? Those kids at the private colleges come from…wait…now…both private prep and public high schools!! </p>
<p>My kid was on a varsity sport all through college at her Ivy. She is currently coaching a varsity Ivy team in fact. But even though my kid didn’t go to a private prep or a private elite academy for her sport (these exist) like most of her teammates, she did just fine. </p>
<p>I’m obviously not against elite colleges (having had children who attended them) or even elite prep or boarding schools. But sweeping generalizations are not good. And the issue isn’t which is better, best, or smartest, but attitude matters. I’m thankful my kids have a grounded attitude and I consider them pretty privileged even if they went to a crummy public school.</p>