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<p>I have two children in their twenties.</p>
<p>They haven’t seen each other in two years. </p>
<p>If something unusual and upsetting happened, I don’t think either of them would think to call their father first. He’s often unreachable during the work day. Also, each of them has other people they would contact first (just as it appears that the older brother contacted his housemates).</p>
<p>I don’t see anything particularly strange about the family dynamics. There may indeed be unusual features to the family’s interactions, but I don’t consider the things you mentioned to be conclusive evidence of that.</p>