Sample Admissions Essays - Accepted by Harvard, Princeton, Dartmouth, and Stanford

<p>What do you think of this essay? I found it randomly online when i googled "sample college essays" or something like that.</p>

<p>I just think it would be useful to hear feedback from ppl on what they think of this kind of an essay.</p>

<p>Here's the link: Sample</a> Admissions Essays accepted by Harvard, Princeton, Dartmouth and Stanford</p>

<p>All these essays were from rich kids who paid people to write it for them.
Of course it's going to be good lol!</p>

<p>Hmmm seen this essay before</p>

<p>YAWN!
seriously? it sounds like one big cliche.... that person must have had an awesome resume....</p>

<p>"Immediately, I realized that I must dedicate my life to understanding the causes of the universe's beauty"
immediately?</p>

<p>boring boring</p>

<p>I wouldn't believe that the essay was the reason that person got into HPS...
The essay seems so impersonal and "BS"y.</p>

<p>"Surrounded by thousands of stars, complete silence, and spectacular mountains, I stood atop New Hampshire's Presidential Range awestruck by nature's beauty. Immediately, I realized that I must dedicate my life to understanding the causes of the universe's beauty. In addition, the hike taught me several valuable lessons that will allow me to increase my understanding through scientific research."
First paragraph for stanford.
one word (well 3)
W-T-F?!</p>

<p>^haha yeah that's what i thought, but i wanted other ppl's opinions first to make sure i wasn't just being overly judgmental.</p>

<p>These kind of essays are liked by adcoms?? gosh! so pretentious ....</p>

<p>LOL I've read this before
and honestly, I forced myself to believe it was good, and I seriously thought that essays were supposed to be like that xD
BUT I GUESS NOT (><)</p>

<p>haha... we read this in english yesterday</p>

<p>This is the most made up garbage I've ever read. It's probably faked.</p>

<p>
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haha... we read this in english yesterday

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</p>

<p>yea me too... I thought it was too much</p>

<p>how do we know they actually were accepted... probably just saying that so you join their ****ty essay service</p>

<p>Nicko17 u r probably right.</p>

<p>But personally, I thought that the essay was pretty good, I mean isnt that what admission ppl wanna know bout? How personal experiences helped u to know urself and reaching ur desires, understanding ur goals? I admit there are some flaws like the one where he says that immediately he knew about his goal, but come on nothing can be perfect, right? And he also mentions about the roadblocks that will come and he says he will accept them.</p>

<p>I know there are controversies but i still think the essay was pretty good</p>

<p>The essay's well written (smooth language, good grammar/vocab...) but I find the topic over done and a little dull. Dare I use the word sappy? </p>

<p>It's got good metaphors and topics, but it seems very cliche and typical to me. Essays are only one part of the app though.</p>

<p>To agree with you Laeven, I think that's what it is -- just one part of the app. The essay is a little unfulfilled in that we don't learn about specific notable accomplishments or anything like that, but it's totally possible that those things shined through in another part of the application. Having an essay that focuses only on <em>how</em> you think, followed by another essay with more specific details, might be just as useful as two essays with specific and general information distributed between the both of them.</p>

<p>Ick, ick, ick. Cliche dreck. And how did the proofreader (or in this case the essay writing company) fail to notice the use of the word "Immediately" to start sentences in each of the first two paragraphs?</p>

<p>I'd note that the company says the essays were accepted by the colleges but doesn't specifically say the students were accepted!</p>

<p>Umm.. Please tell me I'm not the only one who found that essay god awful?</p>

<p>Regardless if this person actually experienced this or not, it's a test of his/her ability to write, and they accomplished that well enough. That being said, the essay is nothing special. It lacks creativity and color. Do what Stephen King does, and break conventional norms of writing and do your own thing. That's what will make your essay original and fresh.</p>