SAT essay for grading

<p>Can anyone grade this SAT essay out of a 12?</p>

<p>Do people benefit more from having many choices or few choices?</p>

<p>My mother has always given me the luxury of having many choices in my life. Whether it be, for the school I go to, or the country I live in, she has left to my disposal, a variety of options. With these, I have been able to become an adolescent with certain values, as well as one with a freedom which few people have today. </p>

<p>When choosing where to live, I was not restrained to reside in one place, because of financial reasons or job matters. On the other hand, a selction of choices were given to me: it would either be Lisbon, New York, Paris, Philadelphia or S</p>

<p>Don't you mean Cape Verde, i've never heard of Cabo Verde</p>

<p>What score did you ACTUALLY get for it?</p>

<p>1- in portuguese it is Cabo Verde, but fair enough: I would but Cape Verde on test day (for a better understanding).</p>

<p>2- I never took the SAT. This is just a practice essay I wrote today. </p>

<p>Could you please score it?</p>

<p>i would really appreciate any comment from someone who has received a good score on the essay. thank u</p>

<p>You writing is very awkward (your ESL-ness shows). For example, this sentence is just wacky: "Six or seven schools were visited by my mother and myself, and all were thought about carefully." Why the passive structure? Myself should be "me". Here's another one: "I learned the meaning of opportuntity [sic], one which earlier, so obvious to me, became truly important, since so many were handed to me." Man, that's awkward. It is like you're trying to sound eloquent, yet you make many grammar mistakes and weird syntax choices. This one is my favorite:" I was allowed to choose for myself, where I felt well and comfortable." "Feel well" can mean two things: either you feel healthy or you have a properly functioning tactile sense. Both don't fit in at all. </p>

<p>I'm not trying to pick on you. I just want you to realize that your use of English is... inaccurate. Try reading books: that worked for me. I'm also somewhat of an ESL student, and back in the day, I use to score in the 500's in the English sections. After reading (and enjoying) novels, I scored 2380 (December 2011 SAT. I guess I was lucky). </p>

<p>When writing SAT essays, you must have a clear thesis in the introduction. Also, you need to tie your paragraphs better. Because the SAT essay is just a long formula, I suggest reading this thread <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html&lt;/a>. Oh, you should answer the question more directly. Don't worry about writing like a robot; the SAT essay section isn't real writing.</p>

<p>After reading my negative feedback, do you still want me to grade you?</p>

<p>I would rather be won over more by concrete historical/literary examples, than by anecdotes involving you and your mother.</p>

<p>Your sentence structure is also very awkward, and it seems you deliberately make it convoluted to seem more sophisticated and intelligible.</p>

<p>Your transitioning is mediocre, work on it please. </p>

<p>Length is good, but again, length is not the only thing that matters. But it's good to know that you can write an essay of such considerable length in only 25 minutes, if only there were higher quality to complement it.</p>

<p>Score: 3 and maybe a 4, depending on my mood (assuming I'm an official grader, grading your essay).</p>

<p>Please acknowledge that I am, by no means, trying to be condescending or provocative, but I would rather offer constructive criticism with no suger-coating. Good luck, Loma793.</p>

<p>Woops... sorry.
I goth this prompt on my actual SAT this time... and got a 10. So, I was just asking.</p>