SAT Essay grading?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Well, I’ll be taking the SAT in January- and I have no way to get my essays graded… so I was wondering if anyone would be willing to grade one of my essays. Thanks a bunch to anyone who does! Here goes- And by the way, not that this should have any effect on how you grade my essay, because it won’t when my essay is graded, but I am in 7th grade- so if you give any feedback and such- please try to keep it on my level. But grade my essay like I’m a high schooler anyways- thanks again!</p>

<p>Essay:
Honesty is an undefined term: we all have a different meaning for the word. In modern culture, not expressing a certain thought or feeling is seen as trying to ignore it. The term honesty may be defined as an expression of all emotions, regardless of any details. But, if one really thinks about it, honesty does not mean expressing every detail, every impulse, every inclination… it means expressing thoughts that you are comfortable with expressing, and telling the truth when it is called for. Lying would be dishonest, cheating would be dishonest, but when you’re out with friends and you know someone’s secret, sharing it because you know it would not be honesty, that, in fact, would be a terrible thing to do. Thought about in its simplest terms, honesty is not what it is thought to be in our culture today. </p>

<pre><code> During the Revolutionary War, on the battle on Trenton, when the Patriots attacked the Hessians by surprise, they were not dishonest. By this modern definition, the soldiers involved in the surprise attack were dishonest by not telling the Hessians that they would attack. If a soldier were to do so, inform the Hessians of their surprise attack, it would be an honest action, by the definition of our modern society. Obviously, this would not be an honest action, it would be an action of betrayal against the patriots. It is not honest to express every inclination and impulse. Soldiers expressing the intentions of the Patriots to the Hessians that day would’ve destroyed the Patriot side. The battle on Trenton was an inspiration that taught the Patriot side to push through the struggles and to fight for what they believed in… if a disloyal soldier were to be ‘honest’, then it would be very shameful for the patriot side, this so-called honesty, would be the defeat of the rebel army.

Another example of a situation in which ‘honesty’ would truly prove to be a bad thing, would be in surprise gift-giving. Every Christmas, people around the world celebrate the birth of Christ by attending church and giving surprise gifts to loved ones. It really would be terrible to ruin someone’s surprise, part of the fun of it all is anticipating what gifts you will receive. This anticipation is a vital element of the holiday tradition: would you want to ruin a wonderful surprise for someone by telling them: “Oh, to surprise you this Christmas, I’m going to buy you that sweater that you’ve been eyeing for months now!”. While your friend would appreciate the gift, the gift would be much more lovely if you would suppress the surprise till Christmas Day.

All in all, our culture has clearly become too confessional and self-expressive, as J. David Velleman says in his work,“The Genesis of Shame”. It is not honest to ruin a surprise or betray your side to the other nation. We’ve always condemned those who betrayed the good side to the bad throughout history, but by the modern culture’s definition, this would be ‘honest’. As is clearly illustrated in these examples, honesty is not telling everyone everything. Honesty is telling the truth and living your life with good character, and if honesty was telling everyone everything, then that would involve leaking secrets and betraying those who you love. Our modern culture clearly has a very twisted view of honesty if they cannot see these simple truths.
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<p>Prompt: </p>

<p>Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide one’s thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse.</p>

<p>Adapted from J. David Velleman, “The Genesis of Shame”</p>

<p>Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Thanks so much to all who take the time! ; )</p>

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5 out of 6. Great essay

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6, good luck to the both if us come the 24th

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I’m taking the SAT in a week, so if anyone could review my essay as well, it would be greatly appreciated :smile:
Thanks!

PROMPT…
(Can the daily actions of average people have a significant impact on the course of history? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.)

The actions of ordinary people can have a significant impact on peoples lives. Intact, no one is born extraordinary. People become what people think of as extraordinary through influencing and/ or impacting peoples lives through means such as music, dance, religion, etc.
One good example is Mother Teresa. She started off as an ordinary woman, but through religion and her tremendous selflessness, she became known and impacted most, if not all, human beings on this planet.
Another example of people who are less known, but still have a huge impact on our lives, is our parents. They care for us our entire lives, and raise us to be who we are as adults. W respect them, and therefore our actions tend to reflect theirs, whether it’s negative or positive. Our parents often even define who we are.
From these two examples, one can clearly see haw ordinary people can have a tremendous impact on those around them, or even the entire world.

I know it’s short, but i’m a slow writer which makes it hard with only 25 minutes time. Easier to grade… :wink:
again, thank you so much to anyone who reviews it for me

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I’m giving the SAT on 24th. Any help in grading would be appreciated. Thanks! :slight_smile:

Blurb: For a variety of reasons, people often make choices that have negative results. Later, they
regret these choices, finding out too late that bad choices can be costly. On the other hand,
decisions that seem completely reasonable when they are made may also be the cause of later
disappointment and suffering. What looks like a wonderful idea at one time can later seem like
the worst decision that could have been made. Good choices, too, can be costly.

Assignment: Are bad choices and good choices equally likely to have negative consequences? Plan and write an essay in
which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken
from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Answer: Good choices and bad choices are equally likely to have bad results. What seems like a reasonable decision at the time can turn out horribly wrong in some time. History is littered with examples that validate this proposition.
In 1971 war between Indian and Pakistan, the Pakistan army decided to attack the Longewala in the state of Rajasthan. It seemed to be sensible decision considering that the division of Pakistan army responsible for the attack had 2000 plus soldiers while the Indian contingent in Longewala had only about 200 soldiers. The Pakistan army also had howitzer guns and three tanks compared to only hand held guns in the arms of their Indian counterparts. The Pakistani army tried to infiltrate the Indian defence throughout the evening and the night. The Indians knew they were outnumbered so they took strategic positions and merely held out their attack for the night, waiting for the air support in the morning. The Pakistani army was unable to break the Indian resilience and hence perished in the air strikes the following morning. Thus, a good decision by the Pakistani army led to an unfavourable outcome.
In the summer of 2013, Arsenal Football Club was looking to buy a playmaker who could hold the team together. The club manager, Arsene Wenger spent over 40 million pounds on Mesut Ozil, breaking the club transfer record in the process. It seemed to be the best decision made by Arsene Wenger in his 15 years as in charge of Arsenal, instead, so far, it has turned out to be dismal. Ozil have been marked by listless performances and has been out of six of ten months injured. Hence, good decision at that time has turned into waste of funds,
When John Sculley was in charge of Apple, he convinced the board to fire Steve Jobs. This decision was considered a positive move as Steve’s mercurial nature was supposedly plummeting the company . After his firing, the stocks plunged catastrophically and it was not until his rehiring that the company came back on the track of success. Therefore a good decision at the time turned out to be a failure.
From Pakistani army’s failure, Arsene Wenger’s flop buy and Steve Jobs’ firing, we can conclude that good decisions are equally likely to turn in bad results as bad decisions.

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@Sarahskr‌ @ksvsrm‌

Please don’t hijack. Hijacking threads is very rude. Please go make your own thread.

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Thank you guys so much! I really appreciate the help, and I’ll try to grade your essays the best I can. ; ) @Sarahskr It was good but there wasn’t a proper conclusion and though they say that one well-developed example can get you far, it was developed enough as if you were going to include 2 others. So yeah! If there were other examples, it’d probably be a 4 or 5, but with one, I don’t know what to score it. @ksvsrm Your essay was great, the examples were well-developed, the vocabulary was nice, I’d give it a 6… good luck to you both on Saturday! ; )