SAT Essay "Is compromise always the best way to resolve a conflict?"

I wrote this essay in preparation for the test on January 24th. It is my first essay written within the 25 minute time limit, so it is a bit sloppy and underdeveloped near the end. Could someone review it and give a grade out of 12? Your brutally honest opinion is appreciated. Thanks.

Is compromise always the best way to resolve a conflict?

    The Compromise of 1850 ostensibly was a prudent solution to the issue of slavery in borderline states. However, it ultimately led to cataclysmic bloodshed and contributed to the United States' escalation into civil war. Compromise is not necessarily the best way to resolve a conflict because compromise can lead to prolonged feelings of acrimony and antipathy among opposing groups and eventually incur even greater conflict. For example, in D.J. MacHale's Rivers of Zadaa, the belligerent Batu and Rokador tribes experience resentment towards one another because of a tenuous treaty between the two. Likewise, in the T.V. series Gundam, conflicts between naturally born humans and genetically enhanced humans escalate into war despite the valiant efforts of others to appease them with compromise. 

    In The Rivers of Zadaa, compromise fails to prevent the Batu and Rokador tribes from resorting to armed conflict to settle their disputes. On the arid territory known as Zadaa, the two most eminent tries are the Batu, who are notorious for their elite and bellicose warriors, and the Rokador, a subterranean tribe that controls the water sources of Zadaa. Initially, the Batu and the Rokador are gregarious towards each other, consenting to a compact in which the Batu tribe defends the Rokador from alien belligerents and the Rokador share their water supply with the Batu. Although the agreement is honored by both tribes at first, the Batu and the Rokador quarrel often. The Batu, who must endure the excruciating tempurature above-ground, complain that the Rokador are withholding water from the tribe's warriors. Adamant that they are as altruistic as they can be, the Rokador refuse to acknowledge the Batu's request for more water. Consequently, hostility burgeons between the two, and all-out war becomes an inevitability. Tenuous compromise causes two eminent tribes to clash in perdition-like bedlam. 

   Just as the unstable compromise between the tribes leads to war in The Rivers of Zadaa, in Gundam, compromise fails to suppress the tension and resentment between naturally born humans and genetically altered "coordinators". When George Glenn, the first coordinator, receives great adulation and accolades for his prominent scientific work, people grow envious of his abilities and begin to genetically alter their own children to surpass others with Brobdingnagian strength and intelligence. A divide partitions the human race into proponents of genetic alterations and "naturals" who argue the morality of such procedures. Although they live in harmony at first, their resentment leads them to come to blows with each other, and consequently are plunged into war. 

  Compromise fosters resentment between people and can ultimately lead to even greater conflicts between them. If the issue of slavery in borderline states was settled with a partisan decision, perhaps the atrocious bloodshed that followed the Compromise of 1850 may have been avoided. 

Thesis: 5 Strong but hard to find. You don’t need to refer to each of your examples in the introduction for SAT. It’s a waste of space and may annoy the reader.
Organization: 4 You need more transitions between each paragraph, and ideally 5 paragraphs.
Supporting Details: 4 Your first example was amazing. However, your second one requires more analysis and explanation. Was there a compromise? Describe it.
Diction: 6 Very good. Don’t rely on this always being a 6 though because either the topic or the pressure of real test may make you forget the words/be unable to use them.
Grammar: 6. Strong.

Overall: 10/12

Thanks! Also, do you have any advice for writing faster? I’ve tried 3 examples in the past but i wasnt able to fit enough detail into my essay within 25 minutes.

Well, you need examples ready and an essay plan ready before you go in for the test. You can also cut down your intro quite a bit. You only need about 3-4 sentences for an intro.

Other than all of that, I suppose you just need to write a little faster. 2 examples is fine if you’re fine with an essay score of 10. It’s much harder to get 11s and 12s without 3 examples.

As @Woandering has previously acknowledged, there’s a lot of debate about this question. Please don’t consider it settled.

I would give it an 8 or 9.

Your first two sentences seem out of place leading to confusion in identifying your thesis. The second paragraph has too much review of the story and not enough analysis. Also, was the story a novel? Who wrote it? When? The third paragraph is similar to the second in having too much review and not enough analysis. The first sentence of your conclusion is good, but the second is too specific and seems to change the thesis.

Just eliminating the first two sentences and the last, would probably increase your score in my estimation.

@CHD2013‌

Generally, a three example essay is a stronger argument for the thesis. I wouldn’t say it’s impossible or unlikely to get a 11 or 12 without 3 examples, but it’s definitely harder to get a 11 or 12.

If you’re going to use the word "definitely, you should have some facts to back it up. Please share.

I know people disagree about this. I would have no problem with you making that point and stating its your opinion, or based on your experience . . . However, the strong statement you’re making is invalid unless you have true evidence to support it. The same would be true about a strong statement to the contrary.

It might be harder, but it doesn’t have to be. I got an 11, using two examples.