please grade my essay
People always underestimate the definition of happiness and success in the cliché of achieving goals however most of the time they found themselves unhappy after spending their lives running after an illusion called the goal without even looking over what they have from time or relationships. people could reach their final destinations and find that they lost their lives or even ruined them examples from literary works showed how achieving goals can be disastrous
Mary shelley’s “frankestien” novel portrayed the same theme in which she demonstrated victor ,a hardworking scientist,whose goal is to find the secret of life,casted a spell over a collected body parts and unexpectedly the dead body turned to a live monster !! an ugly one ! He finally reached his goal and discovered the secret of life ,but the monster was alone and horribly ugly , he wanted to take the revenge , he killed every beloved and close person to victor ,his wife , his friend and even his brother ! Victor found himself alone and died of saddness although victor reached his goal he ended up suffering the consequences so he became dissatisfied rather than happy, not only mary shelley portrayed this theme Ibsen also showed how achieving a goal could make one regret it the rest of one’s life.
Ibsen portrayed this theme in his play “a doll’s house” in which he showed how “Nora” the protagonist suffered of her goal the rest of her life , nora was a faithful wife whose husband was sick and unfortunately poor, so she took a loan secretly to cure her husband at a time when women can’t take loans without their men’s permissons , her goal was to cure her husband and to live happily , although she reached her goal of having a happy family , she herself lived a miserable life of working secretly to return the money she spent her entire life hiding her secret and working hard , although she did that for her family when her husband knew of what she did , he blamed her ,scolded her ,and abandoned her of her home . So nora suffered the results of her goal so it is obvious that people maybe dissatisfied with the consequences of achieving their goals
In conclude , victor and nora would’ve lives more happily if they didn’t achieve their goals paradoxically , indeed people maybe unhappy by achieving their goals.
Judging on mechanics and grammar alone, I could probably give this a 4/12 (as there are tons of grammatical errors throughout), but your second example was pretty decent - I might give it a 5/12.
This might be a personal preference, but if I was trying to argue that pursuing my goals can make me unhappy, I’d choose slightly more realistic examples (in which there are quite a few of them).