SAT Essay

<p>Topic: Is deception ever justified?</p>

<p>The nineteenth-century moralist’s view was that in general, any form of deception, no matter the ramifications of misinformation, was dangerous. The small lie creates a bigger one, which creates theft, which creates robbery, which creates murder. The rapid descent of a small snowball begins with a peccadillo. This model may not hold at every instance; I know pathological liars, who show absolutely no willingness toward murder. But certainly, deception for success can become as much habitual as greed and mischief, and once it has become routine, consciousness is no longer an issue. Lying in public will be entrenched in everyday life while the morality hindering it will atrophy. The loss of such conscience would not be lamented by a person who functions without it, but those who become amoral as a result, or those who are unaware that deception is a form of harm have been dehumanized and have suffered from an impoverishment of their moral lives.</p>

<p>Liars harm themselves, but if that is the only harm that they inflict themselves, we would sleep better at night. The price we pay for lies we are told tends to be higher and the damage more painful. For those of us who value close relationships, lies can give harm to what is dearest of our hearts: our loved ones and close friends. Lies can eradicate a sense of intimacy, especially if one of the two people involved in an exchange of ideas is accused of telling a lie and the other is not. The shock of discovering that someone to whom you feel close deceived you can be tremendous, and the loss of trust, feeling of betrayal, and disappointment following the discovery of truth can mangle, and sometimes end, a hard-earned relationship.</p>

<p>My last assertion will strike some as a hyperbolic remark. Anyone who lies frequently and is convinced that others are similarly morally decayed will never understand the impact of discovering a lie. “What’s the big deal about lying; everyone does the same” includes this and a multitude of other moral transgressions that are actually a bit far from peccadilloes (as in “everyone is jaywalking nowadays, etc.”) And if a liar gets caught, then what’s the big deal anyway? All he or she has to do is to come up with one of the standard excuses that other liars provide. A classic one:” I didn’t want to frustrate you.” But to those who do not lie every day, finding out that they have been lied to can have a profound consequence.</p>

<p>EDIT: Correction and feedback will be much appreciated!</p>

<p>bump…</p>

<p>Control of language and variation of sentences is fantastic. Thesis is also well developed (aside from the illogical flow from a lie to theft) and your essay indicates consistent critical thinking. However, I was left waiting for examples to back up your otherwise sound assertions. For this reason, I would hesitate to award a 6. You should be happy though, it’s rare that an essay can score a 5 without the use of specific examples.</p>

<p>^ So if you would regrade it on a 12-point-scale, what would you give?</p>

<p>I should have made note on this post; it was intended to give perfectpixie an insightful example of this essay topic. I wonder if [s]he has seen this essay.</p>

<p>I amazed! Great! Perfect! Fantastic! 12/12!</p>

<p>Very good vocabulary and structure, but there were no examples, still I would give you an 11/12 for the overall wellbeing of the essay.</p>

<p>Just wondering… is it a sin NOT to include examples?</p>

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<p>11/12.</p>

<p>Not including examples goes against convention, in a bad way.</p>

<p>^Ahh. All right. Thanks for your insightful comments.</p>

<p>Orgasmic. 11 or 12/12.</p>

<p>^ XP nice word choice right there…</p>

<p>Very good content, elegant vocabulary, and excellent use of language overall. I think the only thing that’s holding you back is the lack of examples. Another thing: throughout your essay, you refer mostly to liars and the act of lying, which would be a type of deception, but you should keep in mind the overall assignment. Also, you have sound reasoning and explanations, but you lack an overall conclusion, which MUST end an essay, no matter what.</p>

<p>I would rate it 9 or 10/12.</p>

<p>9/12 for this essay is very skeptic…</p>

<p>10/12 very good</p>

<p>can you please score this essay?
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