SAT Essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Topic: Are we free to make our own choices in life or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society?</p>

<p>The question as to whether or not we are free to make our own choices in life is not as easy as it may seem. The answer to this question lies in several factors based on the context, such as the specific environment the individual in question grew up in, as is evidenced in the comparison of Shakespeare’s classic play, Twelfth Night, and America’s democratic government. </p>

<p>In Twelfth Night, the female protagonist, Viola, is in love with the wealthy Duke Orsino, and dresses up as the masculine Cesario in order to work under his courtship. Here itself, we can clearly see how severely Viola was limited by her subservient, female social status. In the Elizabethan time period Viola lived in, it was not considered socially acceptable for a woman to work in such a high-valued profession. As the story continues, Viola is faced with dilemma of confessing her love to Orsino under her masculine disguise. Again, we see how drastically Viola is barred by society’s expectations. Because it is socially unacceptable for one man to love another, Viola feels unable to share her love with Duke Orsino. In other words, society’s expectations placed barriers on Viola’s actions and decisions. However, this idea is blatantly contrasted by the famed American democracy. </p>

<p>Under the renowned American democracy, man is free to achieve anything he wishes. Government interferes very little in the daily of the average American man, and society plays a very small role in influencing any individual’s decisions or actions, providing a blatant contrast to the Elizabethan time period shown in Twelfth Night. </p>

<p>As is clearly visible when these two examples are juxtaposed, whether or not man is free to make his own choices in life is very dependent on the time period the individual in question and the specific environment he grew up in, among other factors. </p>

<p>Correction and feedback would be appreciated. Score on scale of 1-12 plz</p>

2

<p>bump…</p>

3

<p>Good job! 10/12
I gave 10/12 due to volume. It’s small. Try to add more oints and explain every detail.

  • and - sides.
    *Good points
    *Perfect introduction
    *Small conclusion(try to summarize all facts)
    *Volume isn’t big, but every word riches it’s aim.</p>
4

<p>i thought sat essays that received 12’s were, on average, around 350 words?</p>

5

<p>bump…</p>

6

<p>bump…</p>

7

<p>Length is decent, 50-75 words more to get into the range for a 12.</p>

<p>Your first example was convincing but it’s length made your second point look rather weak.</p>

<p>Overall 10/12, flesh out your second point more and this holistic impression is likely to jump to 12.</p>

8

<p>Its kinda short and your could be more developed, so either a 9 or 10 our of 12.</p>

9

<p>9/12…
talk more about your second example its too short compared to your first</p>

10

<p>11/12</p>

<p>can yuo please score my essay?
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/981838-can-you-score-my-sat-essay-please.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/981838-can-you-score-my-sat-essay-please.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

11

<p>Your examples are really great!
Maybe if you added a specific example of American Democracy,
like lassez faire or sumthing and developed further
you could get a 12 :slight_smile:
it is a great opening for then second paragraph (what you had so far)</p>