Your choices in life are what matter. Not just this particular week, but every week.
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What a concept! An appliance that works! I had gotten so used to tolerating the mess of a washing machine that only drains some of the time and a dryer that stops at least three times before the clothes are dry, it was the new normal. Up and down the stairs all day, wringing out sopping clothes by hand. I never realized that doing laundry could be such a pleasure. And the pet hair filter in the washer! Why did I not buy this weeks ago!
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I wish they had listened. There is no way to sugar coat the reality now, and there is no easy fix. It makes me sad.
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Argh. Being fair to them doesn’t mean cheating myself. Repeat over and over.
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Some people really need to touch grass. Seriously.
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I’ve gotten messages asking me how things turned out, so I thought I would share. Our power and internet went out Saturday night, and we just got everything back, at 3:15 pm on Monday.
It turns out our big generator runs the heat, so we had heat and water. But I woke up Sunday morning and things looked bleak. All churches canceled services. The local Public Safety Department posted about how many accidents, downed trees, and closed roads there were. I really thought we were going to have to cancel. The friends who were going to make the trip to pick up my son and bring him to the party canceled. But others said they would be here, no matter what.
Our daughter, who had all of the food and decorations, barely got her car dug out of the ice but made it to our house mid-morning. Whew!
The other problem was that power was out all over town - restaurants, grocery store, gas stations, etc. were closed. Our neighbor was supposed to take DH out to lunch, but where would they go? I decided I just wouldn’t worry about it. I purposely didn’t tell DH how bad it was out there because I was afraid he would want to cancel!
The neighbor picked up DH at 12:30, and his wife came over to help us prepare. Another friend came over, too - she’s a decorator and did a great job of making everything look nice.
Lo and behold, the local pizza parlor DH and the neighbor always go to had a generator! They were accepting only cash, but for some reason DH had enough to cover the bill.
Our other concern was the icy driveway and road. But again, almost miraculously, we lucked out. We got freezing rain after 6" of snow on Saturday, but the way the rain soaked into the snow turned it into frozen snow instead of glare ice. It was not slippery at all! A friend directed guests where to park. 13 hardy Mainers showed up! I love these people.
Our daughter texted the neighbor that we were ready. He dropped DH off and left. We were all in place, ready for DH to walk in the door. A moment passed, and he didn’t come inside. We peeked, and he was shoveling ice off the front steps! Ha! That could have taken awhile, so our daughter just stuck her head outside and told him she really needed to show him something.
He walked in the door and looked not only surprised, but dumbfounded. He was totally blown away. I know him well enough that I’m sure he wasn’t acting.
It was a wonderful party. A good mix of people, some of whom we hadn’t seen for years. One friend brought her son, who was in Boy Scouts with our ill son and a good buddy of his. He’s the sweetest guy. I talked to him about our son, and he said he would be happy to get in touch with him and go out.
So this will be a family story we will tell for many years. I will tell our daughter to remember it when SHE turns 70! I can say the two of us gave our husband a gift he will always cherish. He told me nobody has ever done anything like that for him before.
I will never throw another surprise party.
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P Diddy, Puff Daddy, Sean Combs … WTH??!!
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I think it’s past time for his bad luck streak to end.
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1 chapter is ending, while another chapter is soon to begin.
Today, my narcissistic father unit (who I’ll refer to here as FU) finally mustered up enough gumption to send me an EMAIL to inform us that he will not be able to attend D24’s high school graduation in May. I expected this, am relieved by this (because he’s so self-absorbed and attention-seeking that if you were to look up those 2 definitions in the dictionary, there would be a picture of him next to those dictionary entries), yet am still a little disappointed.
None of D24’s grandparents will be there. FIL (who was a horrible person) died before D24 was born…and the world is a better place without him in it. My mom died when D24 was 4. MIL died 7 months ago. My dad is the only grandparent still alive.
He last saw my kids in August of last year. The time before that? Was 8 years before.
I am certain that he will not be traveling anywhere anymore. Certainly not with his severe asthma problems, thanks to 20+ years of him refusing to use asthma maintenance meds because he’s convinced that “the doctors and drug companies are only after my money,” as he puts it. 
He said that he can’t come because he & his wife went to 2 get togethers with people this past month and both times, he had several really bad asthma attacks and now he has bronchitis (3rd time since early September). In his email, he left out how he still goes in person to church stuff every week because he helps out with audio-visual stuff every Sunday. But whatever man, it’s your life.
My dad is not a nice guy. Schadenfreude is something he practices on a regular basis. It’s a good thing he goes to church because Lord knows that man needs it. None of it seems to stick, though. He’s been perpetually angry with me for the 14 years since my mother died because we don’t spend $2-3k/year to schlep our 2 kids across the country to pay homage to him and kiss the ring.
When my kids were younger, he was supposed to go to the San Diego Zoo with us one time. My kids were over the moon excited over this. Guess what? He never showed up. Found out 6 weeks later the reason why. His wife’s dog had died 3 weeks prior.
the wife’s dead dog rated a higher priority than his only grandchildren.
So guess what? When the inevitable phone call happens (which I suspect is going to happen some time in the next few months) informing me that he’s on his death bed, I am not hopping on a plane to go say goodbye.
On my awesome daughter’s graduation day, instead of the mean & crazy grandfather being there, D24’s honorary gay uncle is going to be there and an honorary aunt & uncle (all 3 are dear friends of ours and good friends are like family!). We’ll all feast on an amazing smoked brisket that my DH will prepare. We’ll all cheer for D24 when she walks across the stage. And we’ll all have an amazing time.
And my mean & crazy narcissistic dad is missing all of it. Missing out on watching what a wonderful person my daughter has become. He’s totally missing out because he’d rather be right than be happy.
I no longer feel guilty. I no longer feel angry or hurt or upset. I do not care if he approves or does not approve of anything I do in my life. I now feel nothing toward him. He lost out on an amazing opportunity to be part of his grandchildren’s lives. It’s his loss.
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Trying to book airfare shouldn’t be so frustrating. AA I’m sure once your system error is fixed the airfare will have risen.
Everyday the prices are all over the map.
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Simpletons abound. It’s both amusing and boring how predictable they are. Wash, rinse, repeat.
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I hope with time you heal. It’s clear you’re hurting and haven’t gotten over your disappointment. But honestly, these days you just sound bitter and petty. I feel sorry for you.
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Typos. (Retired many years ago.) I need a Mia Culpa on a volunteer publication that had many eyes that debated commas and dashes, but missed a board member who was not on the letterhead that was part of the publication.
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Some people are never happy
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Dear Facebook friend who we hardly know-
You aren’t a realtor so why are you sharing the value of your neighbors home. I suspect it is a way of “flexing” but it really makes me wonder why you care about what mostly strangers think.
Show me another dog picture instead please, she is adorable.
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Dear friends, we know you are fanatic fans (that may be redundant) of our baseball team, and we are happy to join you for a few games. And we so appreciate that you are doing all this legwork to find tickets, and happy that you are looking at special offers you got, but I am so glad you let us know before we all bought tix to 3 games that the seats you were looking at were not together! We want to go to be with you!
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In my still drugged post anesthesia state… To the hospital… a few pointers…
To the security guy at the hospital check-in desk. Most people arriving in the hospital are not in a happy state and/or are generally clueless. There is no need to be so hateful to my H who was just trying to see the cafeteria right next the check-in desk. We didn’t realize he had to get a visitor badge the absolute very first thing…
When they call you and tell you on the phone, be there absolutely no earlier than 11:30, don’t say so unless you mean it. Of course, me being me, we showed up at 11:23. Get through the hospital check-in desk and go to the registration desk, where the woman is conducting personal phone calls while trying to do my desk and struggling with the scanning equipment that isn’t working. As I try to joke about stupid spam calls I keep getting on my phone, she quips “Well, we’ve been calling you. You’re late.” Umm? I said they told me to not be here earlier than 11:30. It’s only 11:28? She said they want us there early. Then why did they tell me several times on the phone NOT to be there earlier than 11:30?
Finish up and go upstairs where a nurse rudely told me everyone’s been waiting on me. Huh? My procedure isn’t actually until 1:00? Tells me to go give her a pee sample. I quip it might be a little hard since they told me not to eat/drink anything after midnight, so it’s been about 12 hours already! She was not amused. I did my thing and come out and there are 6 nurses gossiping around the station. I tell them I’m done. No one glances at me. I tell them again. One tells another I’m ready. Still nothing for several minutes.
Next batch of nurses in my room are much nicer and they do their thing and tell me now I have to wait for the surgeon who’s working 1/2 day in the office. It’s now 12:00 on the dot. They were all mad I was late - which I wasn’t - and now I have to wait an hour. Yes, our hospital’s customer service needs work.
I will say that all the nurses/staff after that point were very nice and helpful. No complaints with them. And I suppose the bonus after this is that there is zero way I’m pregnant now (not that I was before, but it’s also nice to know.)
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Since you say you don’t know about something…why, why do you give long winded info about this something? Has never made sense to me.
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Well, it is nice that DH starts collecting Social Security benefits next month, but the estimated state and federal quarterly tax payments are a pain! He gets his first check April 17, just when that first payment is due.
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