Thrilled to learn your first date was a smashing success (other than the popcorn that got stuck between your teeth 
)
You know what today is and yet you cannot bother yourself to come over for a visit.
You take and take and take. It is getting old. You are not a friend I can count on after all of these years.
Seriously? The washer is broken beyond reasonable to repair. The dryer works perfectly fine. But we have to buy a new dryer because we need them stacked? This is great for the appliance store, not so much for the consumer!
He bought the muscle car. When will we have a cure for testosterone?
Dear Mr. Creature Eating My Plants,
It is saddening to see that you have bitten off the flowers of all of my Impatiens cleanly. I understand that you need to eat. But if this is just for fun or amusement, I would be glad to grow other flowers for you, but please not my prized plants. I raised this bunch through the winter, even though they were nearly dead. It broke my heart to see them sliced off so cleanly. Once the flowers, now you nibble on the leaves? Once the leaves are gone, there will be no more chance of them growing back. Please leave the plants, especially the parts with chlorophyll.
Sincerely,
Concerned Plant Owner
Parental neglect is a costly thing
The Braves are breaking my heart this season.
I slept past 4 AM!
Well, one of my three kids remembered my birthday. And that’s because we share the birthday, ha!
Stop “liking” your own facebook posts. Who does that?
OK, I know it’s only a kid’s job in an ice cream stand.
But she made her plans. She organized her day. She got out of the shower and into the car in time to be at work at 1 pm.
So you were absolutely wrong to text her at 12:48, as we were enroute, and say she was called off because the weather looks like you won’t be busy. We were ON THE WAY THERE!!! She was due to work in 12 MINUTES.
To all of those who made fantastic contributions (financial, equipment, medicines, and for some time off to go help, etc) to the medical missions trip my lad is soon to participate in, thank you. You’ve restored some of my faith in fellow Americans with the “show me, don’t tell me” knowledge that you DO care about others on our planet.
Couple this with:
I wish everyone on our planet had access to basic/decent medical, dental, and vision care and didn’t have to wait for volunteer teams to come in hoping they can do so much in such little time.
Why do you keep bringing crap in this house and garage? I don’t clean and purge so that you can refill areas with more crap. I’m going to start getting rid of stuff without asking you first as you likely won’t notice what’s gone anyway.
D just sent me a Facebook message, apologizing for not writing me on my birthday. She had to work a double shift at her waitress job and it was “crazy.” 
Two other moms and I are flying to Philadelphia on Thursday to see our daughters. Looking forward to the trip.
Dropped only d off at BC new students orientation today. Her roommate from Korea has the same name. They were both so nervous and excited. A shy kid who worked tail off. What a beautiful school. I was so proud my heart nearly burst. I love that kid very much.
Dad, I’m so glad you finally agreed it would be a good idea for you and mom to sell the house and move into an apartment. I spent my last two weekends trimming your trees and fixing your plumbing leak. It is hard for me to keep up with my own home, much less yours. Plus, we will be able to purge mom’s decades of crap while you both are still alive to go through it. I hope the waiting list for the senior apartments is short.
Mom, it was a privilege to be holding your hand, telling you how much we all love you, when you passed away. I know you were ready, but that doesn’t mean we won’t miss you terribly. You were a wonderful and loving mom and grandmother and we all love you so much.
Your service was beautiful and your grandchildren were all honored to take part in it. I know how proud you were of them and how much you loved each of them. They loved you back with all their hearts. Your love and generosity helped to educate them and helped them become contributing members of our world.
What’s the level of exhaustion beyond sick and tired? I’ve reached it.
Prepping for a 40 year high school reunion. (I love these things). What do I detest? Questions from my father and brother: who is the mo$t $ucce$$ful member of your class? My response? I don’t care. I just hope they are all successful enough to be self-supporting.
And now you “tagged” 7 people (us, our kids and our s’s inlaws and family) who are not even in your post so your post shows up on our/their page. You are so consistently annoyingly self-focused. Did you even congratulate our s and new DIL on their recent wedding that you were too cheap to attend (we paid for your grown kids to attend- paid for their cross country airfare and room, but you need to learn to manage your $$ - get a job!) - NO - you did not even mention your nephew’s big event (probably because you weren’t there and it wasn’t about YOU)— you self-focused jerk.