<p>Haven’t been here in a while but figured you folks would help me sort this out. When DD was looking for an internship my brother (owns a company) strung her along and never came through. Same thing when she graduated. Not even a suggestion of where she might look. She got a job, has been living at home, paying off her loans. The job was hell. Her manager was evil incarnate. She got laid off 2 weeks ago. She says she feels free and started looking right away for a position in a different field (this experience soured her on the industry and it wasn’t in her major). Of course, it’s hard to get a job with no experience in a field (she might be better off pretending she just graduated!)
Anyway, she sees this morning on facebook a posting by her cousin "Having a great time interning for Uncle Joe with cousin Becca!) SO my lovely brother has my neices (one just graduated from HS, going to college in the fall, the other graduated from college in May and has a full time awesome terrifc job that starts in September) interning for him in my daughter’s field.
DD is crushed. She doesn’t understand why her uncle doesn’t seem to like her. He knew she was trying to get out of the evil job and was willing to do any job that would have her major in the title.
On one hand, I want to drop it, clearly he doesn’t care to help her and the next time he calls me to help wilth something, I won’t do it. On the other hand, I feel like I shouldn’t just let it go by. My husband says he’s a jerk and I should call him out on it. It was one thing when he just wouldn’t help her, it’s another thing when it’s in our faces that he’s helping the others.
Family are hard sometimes! ANy suggestions?</p>
<p>Has she approached him herself? Brought a resume? He might be waiting for her (not youi) to make the first move. Yes, families can be hard at times.</p>
<p>So, it’s your brother who owns the company… are his daughters working for him? That’s not unusual. If the FB comment was from another family member’s daughter, maybe they were more assertive or maybe they are closer to your brother than you realized.</p>
<p>In any case, he may not be thinking much about your doughter unless you specifically ask. You can also remind him that his company is “just in the field where your DD wants to work”. You might want to ask him to consider taking her on in September, when his company is busier and “people” are leaving. If not that, then ask him for some contacts your DD could use in her job search. He’ll get the idea. What you DON’T want to do is “expect” that he’ll give her a job, but at least he should interview her and give her a chance.</p>
<p>Onward’s right - YOU should do nothing. You don’t know how the other nieces got the internships; perhaps they lobbied for them?</p>
<p>Your daughter should. But she should approach the job as a job, not as a favor. She has an “in” with the employer; she needs to go in with her resume and explain to him what she can do for him.</p>
<p>Waiting around for someone to offer something you want usually gets you nothing.</p>
<p>The kids are not his but belong to other siblings. Knowing their mothers, I imagine they were the instigators.
When DD was in college/graduated, she was the one who approached him/wrote cover letter etc.
I disagree with DH. Personally, I think she should approach him like she doesn’t even know him. In reality, I don’t even know him because I 've never treated him that way sigh…</p>
<p>If your D really wants to work for your brother then she can approach him on it and you should stay out of it. She should also apply for other jobs at other companies. Your brother is under no obligation to hire her and she (and you) shouldn’t feel any sense of entitlement simply because he’s your brother.</p>
<p>You should all just forget about the fact that he has the nieces working for him now. It’s not relevant to your D’s situation and for all you know something changed in his business in the intervening time or maybe he was distracted by certain business conditions when your D applied that were resolved by the time the nieces applied. Regardless, the fact that the nieces are working there has nothing to do with your D or you so ignore that aspect.</p>
<p>If at the end of the day your brother doesn’t want to employ your D then that’s that. You should drop it. You may or may not ever know why he didn’t employ your D but the outcome would be the same.</p>
<p>Personally, I think your D is better off not working for a family member like an uncle since it can lead to all kinds of awkward situations within the family (kind of like you’re experiencing now) and with the other employees concerned about special treatment for family members.</p>
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She’s probably taking this much too personally. It’s business!
He doesn’t owe her a job, but since this is your brother, her uncle, she should ask him for his help. But, I agree with others. She should be the one advocating for herself. It’s hard on you to see her struggle, but let her fend for herself.</p>
<p>Not quite the same situation, but my H is often asked to help relatives and friends’ kids get jobs and internships (he works at a well-known children’s cable channel). Years ago he was able to get our D a special internship for high-school age kids of employees, so maybe they think he can pull strings. He tried to get something for my niece (a graduate of USC film school) but she bombed the interview due to a complete lack of social skills. Since then he is very reluctant to go to bat for other people’s kids. It can be very awkward to work for or with one’s relatives. I think the uncle has every right not to want to get involved. My husband hates being put in this situation.</p>
<p>Call him up or have your D call him up, ask if there are any openings (paid or unpaid internship). Remind him she will be available when the high school student is back in school, the college grad goes to her awesome job. Email up to date resume. Ask for contacts if nothing is available in his company. Be specific–don’t hint. Then deal with the response.</p>
<p>Better than worrying about it. Or having your daughter worry about while applying for jobs. Just get it over with.</p>