Interesting thread! My husband struggles with giving compliments or affirming positive qualities in others & about life in general.
If you say, “Joanne is such a sweetheart! So funny & kind!” — he feels a strong urge to point out an incident in the past where Joann was not so funny & kind. “Well, yeah, but remember when she…”
Hullo! We can say someone is “patient” or “kind” even if they are not patient or kind 24/7 every single day of their entire decades long life!?
It sounds a bit similar to what the OP’s H did…that “need” to point out it was not 100% perfect!