I am seriously enjoying each one of your responses. So many angles and points to think about.
H’s family will compliment for cooking tasty food. That’s about all I can think of (which I had not realized).
They share information but not opinions and never feelings. As MIL was clearly going to die soon they
began looking at this. But only the last few weeks so even the thought that they do not share emotions is new.
D never applauds herself which to her is the meaning humble bragging. “I am so happy, I got an A” but
not “I received the highest grade in the class. I am really good at this subject!”.
Some good points made-
4 Don't get too full of yourself
5 great concept about watching D's H "joking" with her
7 Actually I am very direct and do not minimize compliments but did have to learn this years ago
8 Verbally abusive? No. Really more awkward, not knowingly mean (although sometimes we don't realize that our behavior is unkind because we did not have that intention).
12 My mother would criticize and then say, "I was just telling the truth".
13 Yes, we are suppose to be on the same team
This does not come up very often. I don’t walk around applauding myself.
Yesterday I had figured out an annoying problem we were having with our texts that
H had not been able to fix. He was happy and mention that it worked.
I am looking for the rest of it (that I freely give) which is “Great job! It worked”.
And an occasional, “You are really good at figuring things out” (which I am as I am tenacious and
he gives up). And minimally that if I say those things he agrees.
Part of the problem is that this is out of his comfort zone and he really does not know what to say.
But he is going to learn ;).