My kid is about to graduate from Stanford and he has no clue what he wants to do for a living. It’s going to take us another ten years to payoff his loans. We want him to be successful. We are scared that he is going to couch surf it for a long time and that’s unacceptable. Any guidance on how to get him to start his life.
Cal
Perhaps you should talk to your son about what his plans are, what you can do to help, and what you’re willing to do to support him. Talk about what you’re okay with–he can stay with you at home as long as he’s actively job searching, he can stay with you for X amount of time and then he has to pay rent or move out, etc. If he knows he has a deadline (and perhaps, you’re not willing to have him come home at all, in which case his deadline is graduation), then it might kick him in gear to figure something out more quickly. He’ll figure out something when he realizes his parents and/or friends won’t support him financially forever.
Is he job searching? Is he thinking about graduate school? Has he talked to anyone at the career center? Did he do any internships or does he have any work experience? What is his major? Remind him that his first job doesn’t necessarily have to be his entire career path, but it’s okay to just have something that pays the bills while he is figuring it out.
What was his major?
thank you!.. His major is comparative literature
What expectations have you set already, whether directly or indirectly–general conversations throughout high school and college years that mentioned “the door is always open here at parents’ house” or have you been more of a “our support stops the day you get your diploma” ? Has he held any jobs before, in high school, during college or summer breaks, or any internships? When does he graduate?
In general conversations, what can you tell about a possible career interest? I know nothing about comparative literature, so I don’t know if that automatically means grad school is required to get any kind of job in that field, or if there are types of jobs that usually interest those students, like book editing? Again, I am pretty clueless. Is he looking to become a college professor?
Do you have any contacts in any general field of work?
If you haven’t had any conversations with your child, I strongly suggest you (and his mother if she is in the picture) agree on what you can offer/what you expect from him. Then find a time to speak with him, in person or over skype. He needs to hear it in the clearest language, and handing it to him in writing after you’ve spoken with him would be great also.
Decide what you can/can’t tolerate, and speak now. After graduation it will be too late to set your expectations in his mind.
Well, you’re not going to continue to support him now that he’s graduated …are you??
Googling “what to do when your kid won’t move out” gets 59 million results and the first two pages of results are entirely on this topic.
It may be unpopular in U.S. culture for adults to live in their parents’ home, but it is done quite a lot. “Between 2005 and 2011, the proportion of young adults living in their parents’ home increased, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. The percentage of men age 25 to 34 living in the home of their parents rose from 14 percent in 2005 to 19 percent in 2011 and from 8 percent to 10 percent over the period for women.” - http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/families_households/cb11-183.html.
I have one kid majored in Comparative literature in college. She picked up a second practical major and that’s Cinematic Arts at USC. She started her own company and has been self supporting for 3 years. But the key thing is she does have any debt. Zero debt.
How about start something of interest?
A few friends majored in comparative lit, also from top schools. Most wound up pursuing higher education and got fellowships/scholarships/grants to do it (so they could study without incurring more loans); a couple went into journalism; and a couple others went into business.
Does your son want to work or study after this year? That is the first thing to find out.