So I don’t want anyone to think I am suggesting kids can’t actually be excited about where they are going to college. Indeed, in my ideal world every kid would be excited about where they are going to college. Ivies and non-Ivies all included.
But there are just a long list of obvious observations that I feel are necessary to make when people suggest the eight colleges in that particular athletic conference are somehow a breed apart from all others.
First, even if you take the concept of “prestige” seriously (and in fact in every serious conversation I have been a part of about prestige, it turns out there isn’t even anything close to an agreed definition of what that would mean as applied to colleges), I don’t think it can be seriously argued that colleges like Stanford, MIT, and so on are not prestigious. And yet, they are not in the Ivy League. So we know right away that there is something wrong with using membership in that particular athletic conference as synonymous with institutional prestige.
And then if we are being blunt about it, I don’t think it is at all obvious that every college in the Ivy League is the same as each other in terms of whatever people mean by prestige. Indeed, again even assuming you took seriously the concept of “prestige peers”, I think for different colleges in that athletic conference, different other colleges would count as their closest prestige peers.
OK, then the idea that admissions to ANY highly selective holistic review college in the US is about how hard you have worked is very unfortunate. The fact is admissions to these colleges is a matter of what you can do for them as a student, and possibly as an alum as well. And they have all sorts of complex institutional priorities, sometimes competing ones, and they try to enroll a class that strikes a good balance between these different institutional priorities.
And how hard you have worked is not a particularly important question to them. Indeed, if anything, often if they were looking at two kids with a similar amount of success in terms of academic and non-academic outcomes, they would prefer the one who had to work less to get those outcomes. Because that kid is more likely to be able to sustain and indeed build on all that in college, as opposed to running into a wall and possibly burning out.
Finally, the thrill of being admitted somewhere is simply not a lasting benefit. Usually it quickly fades, indeed you can see that every year in social media cycles. There are kids who in advance swear they will be incredibly happy if they could just get into X, they get into X, and days later they are now expressing concerns about whether they should have gotten into X, or whether maybe they should have applied to Y, or why didn’t they get into Z when they got into X, and so on.
And then soon enough, you are actually at X, and guess what? Every other person around you also got into X. And human nature is to compare yourself to peers, and since all your peers also got into X, there is no thrill in that. It is instead on to the next types of peer competition, for grades and internships and research positions and so on.
OK, so what should you be excited about? Well, the opportunity to get a great education. The opportunity to meet lots of cool new people. The opportunity to do a lot of fun new things. The opportunity to evolve and change, potentially in unexpected ways. College can be really great!
But if you are thinking that can only happen at one of those eight colleges, that is obviously not true. And while maybe one of those eight colleges would be a good choice for you, maybe none would.
Indeed, if the best vehicle for you would be a pickup truck, buying a Ferrari is in fact a bad idea. No matter how thrilling it might be to buy one at first, that thrill won’t last if it doesn’t actually work for you and your needs.