Two things:
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Schools make decisions independently of one another
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Things have already gone - beyond well - you’ve won already!!!
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I looked into macalester more and i don’t think it’s a good fit for me. It’s very small and it was the only smaller school that I applied to. My parents don’t approve unc, I can’t afford umich. It’s not a good place to be in. I wonder why I even applied to these schools.
You might be in the situation where you have to pick the school that is the best choice given budget and parental constraints. But you have more decisions to come.
Have you talked with your parents more about UNC? They approve of Macalester?
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Have you visited Macalester?
Your parents do not approve of a full ride to UNC….because? I apologize in advance if this has already been discussed.
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I have talked them about UNC and they’ve basically discounted the school because of some racist incidents that they’ve heard of happening (and also due to macalesters aid) they just want me to go to macalester.
Do you mind sharing what your parents heard? There was a recent incident directed toward a UNC student this past week, but the person who made the comment was not a UNC student.
Maybe if you visit Macalester you will feel differently…?
Besides UNC and Macalester what other affordable options do you have?
This, and several other shootings and incidents of racism in the area. And also because everyone keeps telling them not to let me go to chapel hill bc of the racism.
My only other affordable option is the university of Minnesota. I don’t think I’ll go there though since I got into macalester.
I know about this and of course it is horrible. Unfortunately…these things happen and are not to be tolerated. This is not limited to Chapel Hill and my daughter found the school to be exceptionally welcoming.
I would visit Macalester if you have not already.
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There is racism everywhere - unfortunately - and isolated incidents can happen anywhere.
UNC is a top school - but not every school is for everyone.
Mac is a great school - but you said it’s too small.
UMN is a great school - while doesn’t have the “rank” of UNC, it’s easily substitutional with a more urban environment.
There have been many instances of racial hatred in Minneapolis and it’s not as if Ann Arbor doesn’t have its share. And your top choice - Yale / New Haven as well.
In the end, it’s affordability that matters first and foremost - and you have to choose from that.
No one goes to college thinking something bad can/will happen - but unfortunately things do - unless you are locked up and never leave.
There are many that go to their dream school and get impacted. I was at Syracuse when Lockerbie happened (in fact, I studied abroad the next semester) and it forever haunts me. At Va Tech there was a huge school shooting. We’ve seen recent incidents in Colorado Springs, Burlington VT and more - and you just brought up something that happened in NC - and it sucks - but again, it can unfortunately and will again happen - we just don’t know where and we wish it would stop.
You have great options.
You might reach out to the schools and talk to someone in a student club related to your ethnicity or a student ambassador and ask about their experiences.
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Delete for privacy
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I agree with what you all are saying. I’ll visit macalester and try and talk to my parents about how Chapel hill is just like any other city in the US.
But honestly I’m feeling very demoralized about these decisions. I worked so hard in high school and pushed myself only to not get into the schools I want to go to. I’m so disappointed and honestly think that if I’ve faced rejections/waitlists this early on, my other decisions might not work out. They were a lot more selective than these schools. I really hope it works out but as of now I’m demoralized and extremely upset. And confused as to how I got waitlisted when I thought I was a good fit for Wellesley.
hmmmm - the Boston area has one of the most racially intolerant histories - so I’m not sure what your parents or you are really thinking.
UNC is a top 5 school (publicly).
Mac is a top and upcoming LAC.
These two schools and UMN want to send you to school for free or close to it - and frankly if UNC was U of N Dakota, it’s still a fantastic opportunity and you should still be appreciative.
You’re asking someone to send you to school for free.
I get you are young and there is disappointment - but there are people falling all over themselves to spend $60K, $80K plus to attend these schools.
You shouldn’t feel demoralized. You should feel proud and most importantly relieved!!
Be appreciative of those trying to help you - and an OOS public (an elite one at that) and a top tier private - both are trying to do so - and while you may have other opportunities, you need to have the proper perspective - and demoralized shouldn’t be it.
Proud (especially about the UNC one) - and relieved - because you will have an opportunity to go to college - any college - at a price you can afford.
In the end, where you go in life is a big part of your life - and it will get you to success - if you take advantage. Going to any school - Yale included - in and of itself doesn’t bring one success. You will!!!
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I agree. Thank you. To clarify though, my parents are ambivalent about my going out of state. When I told them I was applying to all of these schools, they didn’t think it was necessary. Despite their words, I applied because I figured that since I worked so hard in high school I might as well. So I don’t think they wanted me to go to Wellesley anyways.
Reach schools are just that…reach schools. And they are reaches for all who apply…and that includes Wellesley. In my opinion, there is no such thing as an easier reach school.
You have two acceptances at great colleges with very significant money to support attendance at these schools. And at colleges many really hope for acceptance to. That IS a plus for your hard work in high school, and please try to celebrate THAT.
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delete for privacy after op read 
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I am a Macalester alum and had an amazing time there. I encourage you to go in with an open mind. While the school is small, there are benefits to that. You can really make a name for yourself on campus, be in leadership roles, and your professors care about you. My friends all went to grad school at Harvard, Yale, Stanford, MIT, etc and work at Google, McKinsey, etc. - there are no limits to what you can do. Even though you want to be far, Mac draws students from across the US and world. If you get bored for any reason (you won’t), you can easily cross-register through ACTC or at UMN, and enjoy the Twin Cities. Mac is hard to get in and no matter who you are, you would be impressed with your classmates there.
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This was a while back (in 2024, some are better and others are still challenging.) We live in Chapel Hill (I used to work at UNC), and my son is considering Macalester this year (he got in as EA). Feel free to DM (I don’t know how to do this…) or find a way to chat.
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I am sure you did work hard, as did many. There are lots of hard working, top of their class students out there who did not get accepted to their desired schools.
I wish you luck as you figure all of this out. You have some amazing opportunities that many others do not.
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While it’s often hard to really get to the bottom of what kids think of certain colleges and why… parents are often just as hard to read. They will often say things that don’t seem to make a lot of sense on the surface, but it usually points to something else. I live in a rural, blue collar area without a lot of connections to elite schools. Invariably, when a top academic student mentions an interest in a prestige school, the parents say, “Nope. We can’t afford it.” When you point to data showing that a Harvard or Princeton would in fact be the CHEAPEST school for their child if they could get in, because of generous aid, and that a nearby non-selective state school would cost twice as much, they typically respond… “It just costs too much.”
Cost is a legitimate concern for those families. So you keep showing them numbers. But in large part you’re just listening. There’s anxiety about something. Same with your parents. Racism and safety are totally legitimate considerations. So yes, point them to data, other anecdotes, whatever you have.
But also just keep talking and, to the extent you can, listen charitably. Distance and safety are important unto themselves, but they are probably also proxies for a host of other anxieties.
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