<p>This is the topic: Does easy access to a virtually unlimited storehouse of facts and information tend to devalue the importance of thinking and talking about big ideas?</p>
<p>and this is my essay (this took me around 30 minutes):</p>
<pre><code> The world has become more globalized, making everything advanced. Technology is an important advancement that creates easy access to facts and information. This, in turn, makes people know more and think less of big ideas.
Since past people have been talking and thinking about big ideas. So, in the presence, every big ideas and concepts that have been discussed over time are accessible to people and so people do not need to contemplate about them as much as before, but just know that they exist. In science, theories and experiments have been formed and conducted respectively, yielding new and big facts to us. During the 17th century, Sir Isaac Newton made a great discovery of gravities and law of momentum. In that time, he and his colleagues needed to think and conduct experiments to confirm the truth as these ideas were unprecedented. But in today’s world, people just only knew that gravities and momentum exist but never thought about them in depth.
Unlimited access to information and facts create “an influx” to people’s mind. Myriad amounts of information are there for people to choose to perceive. Therefore, people may not differentiate the importance of each information and miss to think about big ideas. Facebook, the famous social network, has too much influence on many people. It makes people overwhelmed with its new features and entertainment in updating status and talking to people. These information that people receive from using Facebook hold people’s interest and therefore they forget to think of other more important ideas such as morality and truth about life.
In conclusion, big ideas already discussed over time and an influx of information are two factors that make people in this globalized world think less of big ideas. This event, however, is usual as advancement always comes with new and better things.
</code></pre>
<p>I like the skeleton of your essay. And the conclusion is is good in that your summarize the two factor your think are relevant:
big ideas have already been discussed
people are getting hit with a lot of data from facebook etc</p>
<p>Thats a good structure. However I find the actual argument unpersuasive- all the big thoughts are done being thought? Seriously? What they mean by ‘big thoughts’ is what Socrates wrote about how to lead a Just Life. Not about gravity. </p>
<p>On a different prompt you would do much better.</p>
<p>Hard to say. I could see a 5, but I have a gut reaction of a 4 because you give reasons why you think people think less about Big Ideas but the prompt asked " devalue the importance" which is different. Because I was too busy foursquaring to think about mortality does that mean it is less important?</p>
<p>Your first paragraph is kind of unclear; you should state the thesis much more bluntly: “easy access to a virtually unlimited storehouse of facts and information tends to devalue the importance of thinking and talking about big ideas. Owing to world globalization and…”</p>
<p>I also see some grammatical/spelling errors (or perhaps you made some typos when translating the essay to the computer?)</p>
<p>If I had only two minutes to read this, I would probably give this a 3, but most likely a 4. The main issue I see is that you have some grammatical/awkward sounding sentences, which in turn make the essay as a whole a bit harder to understand. </p>
<p>Given unlimited time though, I would definitely give it a 4, maybe a 5.</p>
<p>“The world has become more globalized, making everything advanced. " heh? not sure that make sense
“Technology is an important advancement” technology is a entire class of things. flint knives are technology. You wanted to be more specific- maybe ‘smartphone technology and the internet’
“Since past people have been talking and thinking about big ideas.”- you mean “past people” or “throughout history people have been…”?
" So, in the presence…” present
“formed and conducted respectively” respectively can be removed
“yielding new and big facts to us” ‘fact’ has a connotation of something a bit trivial, you wanted ‘Theories’ or ‘Laws’
"people just only knew "
" create “an influx” to people’s mind. " should be “minds”
“In conclusion, big ideas already discussed over time” thats seems awkward. I think that what you want is something like “…the fact that most Big Ideas have already been discussed and decided long ago…”</p>